I don't want to fail...

Ok, I haven't been on these boards for over a year now. I had GB 03/15/04. Lost about 100 lbs in a year (going from 286 to 185). I hit a major plateau that I just couldn't break out of so I lost heart and motivation. For the last year, I'm proud to say, despite poor eating habits and far less exercise, I've maintained my weight loss and not gained. I really want to lose my last 30 lbs now, so in the last month, I've slowly made the necessary changes to get me back on track. I'm now so recommitted to my weight loss! At the same time, I'm a little scared that I'll be stuck at this weight forever and that my efforts will result in the same plateau I just couldn't beat! So, I'm back here. I'm counting everything I put in my mouth for the time being and I'm working out 5-6 times per week. I know I can do this, but I can't do this alone, so I hope you'll tolerate me lurking around. Thanks for your support, I appreciate it so much! Love, Jill

Hi Jill, I can so relate. I've been 'stalled' at about a 100 pound loss myself for the last year and was content to maintain, but am starting to be unhappy with my body image again and need to motivate myself to lose that last 30 to 40 pounds. Hugs, Mo

Mo, I know you'll get there....if you need encouragement, just let me know. Maybe we can motivate each other! Jill

Jill - I know I've seen you around before because we indeed have a lot in common in more ways than one. I dunno if you remember me, but I'm also a police dispatcher and holy cow - we are stuck around the same weight and had our surgery within 5 days of each other. Go figger. The lowest I've reached so far is 187 and I have 2 lbs until I am allowing myself a new driver's license since it's said 185 lbs for the last 18 years or so. I want to weigh what it really says for once! I am with you - want to lose the last 30 lbs or so and then PLASTICS. Summer's a good time to do it though....at least for me. I am all about salads and fruits and veggies this time of year so although I'm not banking on 30 lbs, I'll bet I'll see another 10 go bye bye. If I really put in the effort, I know I can see the 150's....but that would mean, well, effort! Stick around - this board is one of the best boards around. Of all the surgery date boards, this one seems to be the busiest, especially for this far out from surgery! Dina

Thanks Dina, I do remember you....I'm not a dispatcher anymore, but I certainly know what the job is like! I actually quit to go back to school and pursue Interior Design (incidentally, something I never had the guts to do when I was fat). I'm with you, I wish fruits and veggies were in season all year round. My biggest problem now is getting all my protein in. Otherwise, I've banned the junk completely, so I'm doing pretty well so far. I'm not happy to know that you're struggling with the same problem as me, but it does comfort me somewhat to know I'm not the only one. For a while, I've felt like a failure. Seeing friends have the surgery and get below goal and I just wondered what was wrong with me!!! Thanks for understanding, I appreciate you more than you know! -Jill

Jill - Congrats on pursuing the interior design route. I love that as well but think I've been at my job so long and have gone through the "I hate it/I love it" scene so many times it's kind of grown on me. Right now I'm in a "love it" phase. That would be the adrenaline junky coming out in me! That's a good thing I guess since I have almost 15 years invested in my current job and 2 years prior at a small 911 center. I know what you mean about drawing comfort from those in the same boat as us. You know, if we think back to the start of this, we were all likely told that the stats were that we would lose a certain percentage of our weight but not likely the whole thing. It's just hard when you see so many around you getting really skinny. The thing I want to buck is the stat that most will gain back 30% of the weight. No way, no how! I may not be at goal, but I'm still trying to edge the scale down little by little, and NOT going up. Maybe this is a good thing not having gotten it all off though. I still have a focus on losing more so I don't give in to old bad habits quite as easily. I'm not an angel (by any means) but getting on that scale every day is SERIOUSLY vital to me. I try to keep putting into perspective that I would have given my eye teeth to be this weight a few years ago, so I need to accept it for what it is. And as my confidence grows, I notice that I'm being perceived as something I've never been before...and that is attractive. Getting a lot of male attention lately...which sometimes makes me uncomfortable, but at the same time, I do enjoy it. It reminds me that although I may not be a size 8, I'm still seen in that "normal" range that I have desired for so long! Dina

I know it! It's so true....I remember when I was at 286. It was so hard to realize a weight loss greater than 30 lbs. I also have PCOS, so my insulin resistance makes weight loss a little harder. I keep telling myself..."just 10 more lbs, get down to a solid 12." I do know, however, if I had surgery, that would probably take care of 10 lbs and two dress sizes too....if I only had the money, of course. There's still so much to be thankful for. 100 lbs made summers enjoyable, moving a lot easier, and cured my sleep apnea! I should never complain, I know. Just 10 more lbs, just 10 more lbs....lol ~J

Well, we share even more...I also have PCOS/insulin resistance so I hear ya sister! As a matter of fact, I'd love to see a study of wls patients both with PCOS and those without and see what the loss rates are. It seems to me from talking to others and reading the boards that those with PCOS lose slower after wls. I definitely didn't burn up the scale while losing, and in fact stalled 2 weeks after surgery for another 3 weeks. I had lost 17 lbs initially and then waited another 3 weeks to lose a single pound. I'm in the same boat on the plastics. I have enough skin that if it were removed I'm sure I'd go down another size or maybe 2. I hate that roll that pops out under the leg of my underwear! Ugh! Dina

LOL....I know that roll! I have it and hate it too! I would love to see a study like that also. I think it would be beneficial for them to have a better idea of general body response! I'm a rarity....I have PCOS without cysts. I'm among the minority as only 10% of women with PCOS have it without cysts. What I'm wondering is.....have you been able to conceive after diagnosis? Did your doctor ever express a possibility in the difficulty with weight loss while having this condition? The frustrating thing is....it's so unstudied and not well understood. There's not a lot of good information out there about PCOS. I'm hoping I won't reach the point where I start an "out-of-control" weight gain just because of PCOS!

Hi, Jill, and welcome back to our little world! It's hard, and I know it is. I just have 10 pounds to lose and I can't do it for the life of me. After all the information we've been given about what to eat and what not to eat, I still am in a quandry as to what is right. Of course, junk food is out, that's an easy one. If I eat too much protein, I get digestive issues, but everyone on here seems to be doing low carb...and I'm not sure about that, either. I tried it for 2 weeks and actually gained 2 pounds, which I have lost since then. Basically, I want to eat sensible---a combination of whole grains, fruits, veggies and lean meats. My downfall is cheese, I'm a real cheese freak, so I try to stay away. Another thing I am going to try to do is to cut down on alcohol.....I usually am good for a few glasses of wine per week...especially on the weekends, but the more research I've been doing, the more I fear that it keeps weight on. I have sugar in small amounts....and when my 'friend' is ready to pay a visit, I usually give in to one small piece of chocolate per day right before the visit takes place. Do we do low fat, low carb, low sugar....WHAT??? I'm always second guessing myself.... Good luck on your journey---we're all there with you, Joanie