Still butterflies????

As most of yall know I backed out of surgery at the last minute yesterday. But why do I still have butterflies? Im wondering if its because I feel guilty about not going thru with it? This is a huge step back for me. To me everything in my life was riding on this surgery.. only because it was part of a timeline.. after surgery we were going to move.. I was going to go to school. Now what? It upsets me because, well, there are other people in my life who was going according to MY schedule because after all this was MY year.. I made it that way. NO one was going to step on my toes or push what I wanted aside this year. But i sabbotaged myself. I always do this.. Im so scared of change. anyways.. thanks for allowing me to vent. Everyone with surgery today will be in my thoughts.

Well, Jessica speak with your doctor, because it sounds like he was very caring and said...go home and we can reschedule....If you "reschedule" then maybe everything will start feeling good again, because you will be back on track. I think you still want this...and now the doctor is aware that something happened to you, so maybe he can make the preparation part more private or easier...I had a couple outpatient surgeries in the last couple years with overnight stays and I will tell you I get "butterflies" in my stomach right NOW--thinking about eh initial prepping part...I don't like the little cubicles with people all lined up and getting the IV and getting into the robe and talking with anesthesiologist and waiting and waiting...I am getting them right now.... That is normal...possibly the ones with no surgical experience at all are better off for their first major surgery because when I had my hysterectomy in 1981 I was clueless...and not scared at all. Sometimes knowledge makes it harder. Anyway, I know I won't back down, but until I am "out" I will be scared, nervous and not at my best. Like I said you have to do what is best for YOU...but you have been approved, you have a great support group, and it seems like a caring doctor....start with another appointment with him and talk this out. Good luck. Sally with 1 week to go.