Flatulence Report.....

OK I knew this title wouldn't matter until someone was post op... WHOA my office has been flooded with reports... One patient's family called to say she was scaring the dog and he ran away.. sad but true.. Fido hit the trail... Another's hubby called and said he has had to replace all the tile in the bathroom since her return from the hospital.. seems they have fallen off the walls. Yet another caller complained he can't sleep because his wife's new "pouch" talks all night long and he is trying to see what it has to say.. Strangest call came from Kimmer's neighbors..it seems they have wanted to report her for her excessive flatulence problem for yrs and didn't realize we had a hotline for it.. I found this call strange because Kimmer is still pre-op... OH MY.. I add this to my report in case she is on a recon mission so I can say Sinseerlee, Kathy Offishal Marchers Cheerleader Captain Flatulence Monitor Angel to the Queen "It's time to throw down the pom poms and get into the game!"

Kathy! Shame on you! Joy

OOOHHHHH It's a good thing I'm still pre-op. I think it might hurt to laugh as much as I just did - I'm typin through tears!!! Thanks for the great laugh Kathy! mgm 8.5 dtg

This is too too funny!

OMG . Kathy you are precious !!! Hugs & smoochies, Mo doin' the almost 14 days and a wake up happy Mo dance

OK WELL I AM A POSTIE NOW AND MY BELLY IS A TALKER IN THE MORNING (NOT FLATULENCE JUST GRUMBLING). JUST TODAY I HAVE STARTED TO BREAK WIND. NO FOUL ODOR THANK GOODNESS. AND IT IS FUNNY TO SAY BUT I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT i know THE PIPES ARE WORKING. MAKES ME FEEL LIKE EVERYTHING IS WHERE IT SHOULD BE. JUST AN UPDATE- LaDonna

...yer gonna burn... (Wait 'til you meet my Plott Hound, Lambie Pie. I've NEVER had such a farty dog. I have to keep air freshener on the end tables 'cuz when she lets go, it peels the wallpaper off the wall... Best part is that every now and then she'll be sleeping and will "cut one", and she just ever so non-chalantly lifts her head and looks back at her butt as if to say "Huh? What was that?" Gotta try Beano on her food...) Kimmer Queen of the Niners, Instigator to All Marchers, High Priestess of Giggles Zero-minus-ONE MORE DAY TO GET THRU!! WA-HOO!!!!!!!!!