Help, My Mom makes me feel terrible!

Joy, Your kind words are very calming to me. I've read your profile and know that you've had much to deal with now with your Mom's health, and your surgeries on top of it. I'm glad that your Mom's ok with your surgery; and I pray you continue to heal rapidly. I have two grown children, a nine-year old and two grandchildren! I try my best to support them too (even when one of them pierced her tongue!) I love my children with all my heart and try to never use harsh language with them, and I would never use harsh language with Mom. After all, I still have alot of respect for my Mom. I know that deep down she's just really worried about me, and is afraid I'm making a mistake that I'll regret the rest of my life. Thank God my dear fellow marchers support me. Hugs n Kisses, Karen

Which is why my Mother doesn't know about my surgery on the 22nd. I told my husband he better take good care of me because if anything goes wrong, he has to tell my mother! One of my younger sisters had WLS in Nov; she told Mom that she had her gall bladder out, which she did. Unfortunaely, I gave up my gall bladder 14 years ago. (Oh and Mom berated her for having gall bladder surgery. And we wonder why we use food to substitute for love.) Good for you for standing up for yourself; if she calls again tell her wouldn't you feel bad if something happened to me and your last memory of me was crying because you hurt me.

Barbara, It's funny, but when I was driving home from Mom's I was thinking just that. It would be awful if that was her final memory of me. Well, that won't happen. I'll be fine, and I'll wait til I'm home from surgery to call Mom. Good luck on your surgery, you'll come through it just fine. Hugs, Karen

I did write my mom a loving letter explaining why I did not tell her so that my DH could give it to her if he ended up having to tell her himself. That was the only morbid thing I did preop, but I thought, it was not that big a stretch that something might extend my hospital stay and that she might find out before I could tell her. He didn't need it--want it? It's an all-purpose all-Mother letter... Joy

my mother had the same reaction!! she told me i was making the most "assinine" decision she had ever heard of!! i just sat there,listened, and let her rip. well, i left and the next thing i knew she was at my door apologizing. i think that our mothers are just scared, and being as controlling as my mom, that was her only way to get through. i had been researching for about a year and taking her and my father along to support groups and to meet different doctors. so, i thought she knew i was serious but apparently she didn't think i was going to actually do it. i have been praying about my decision and praying that she would understand why i was having surgery. well, we are doing much better and she is being very supportive. maybe it will just take your mom a little time to come around. good luck!!

Hi Karen dont feel bad hun, she will come around, This is the primary reason I havn't told my MOM !!! I wont tell her till after it is done, then she cant do anything as far as trying to talk me out of having it! I didnt say she wouldn't Give me HeLL about it, see I have a very old- fashion Italian Mom who hates any Doctor period, thinks their all Quacks, she hasnt been in a hospital since she gave birth to my lil sister 34 yrs ago, can ya see where I'm comming from here... and if she knew what I was doing "Oh Boy momma _MIA", lets not go there ....hahah It doesnt matter how old you are in my family, Mom will always have to have that last word!!!! after all is said and done I will spill the beans, she thinks I am having my gall bladder out and some scar tissue from previous surgeries removed, thats all she needs to know now! God bless and keep the faith it will all work out, unless your mom is Italian like mine! hehehehe

Mary, Luckily Mom's not Italian, but my Dad was. Mom's German and Norwegian and stubborn and opinionated. Well, I'm really hoping she'll come around. I'm praying that I recover quickly after surgery so she can see I'm alright. And Joy-That Mom Letter sounds great! I did write one, however it's the morbid kind and like I said once before, I can't wait to get home and tear it up. Love you guys! Hugs, Karen