sort of upset

My surgery is Monday and Im just finalizing last minute plans about the hospital trip and child care. My friend is going to take my two children at 6am so that my fiance can go with me. Well, my stupid fiance told me basically that Ill have to drive myself to the hospital because he doesnt want to go with me. It makes me so angry because I sacrifice DAILY for this man. Now I have to drive MYSELF???!!! There isnt anything I wouldnt do for him and the time I need him most, he's selfish. WTF. My mother is going to talk to him to see if she can get him to change his mind. I dont get it. He's very supportive about this except for being there when I get to the other side. It hurts so bad.

You really don't need any additional stress right now. Try and let it go right now for your own good. You need your strength for surgery. You might want to tell him you were hoping to get his support but don't pick a fight...you don't need that now. I'm sorry this happened to you. Rob - the caboose.

Thanks Rob. Ill try to be diplomatic about it. If he doesnt come.. he doesnt come. what can I do?? yanno. Im trying SOO hard not to stress about it. :::breathe in breathe out:::

((((((((((((( HUGSSSSSSS )))))))))))) Mo

Thanks, Mo. (((((((backatcha)))))))

Hi Jessica, Rob said things very well. I would like you to know that I am praying for you. The only other thing that I have to add to what Rob said is this. My husband does things like this to me too. When we sit down and talk about things it's usually because he is scared and he doesn't know how to help me so he pulls away. What helps us is for me to sit down and tell him that I understand he might be feeling worried about things but that it is really important to me to have his support and have him with me. Then I tell him that even though it is really important to me have him with me that I will leave the decision up to him and I will honor his choice. Now, you don't want to say this to him unless you can actually do it. But what I have found is that most of the time my husband will work through whatever he is dealing with and realize that I need him and he will come through for me. Not always, but usually. However, if I get in his face and bi*** at him he just pulls away further. I know that even though my husband is very supportive of my having this surgery he's also very worried about losing me. This may be where your fiance is right now but he just can't tell you that. So to deal with it he's pulling away. I don't know though. I don't know if any of this helps or not but I hope it does. The most important thing though is what Rob said. He's very right. You need to be focused on you right now and keep all your energy on your surgery. Hang in there and I will keep you in my prayers! Carrie Carrie Quite Contrary (a/k/a CCQC) 6 Days and a Wake Up to a New Life! March Elevener and PROUD to be a Marcher in Newpouch, USA Offishal Assistant Paper Monkey and Secretary Extaordinaire AND Offishal Keeper of the Marcher Title Duty Roster My Angel ==> Amber W. My Angelettes ==> Joann B. , LaDonna D. , Marcie F.

CCQC, thats awesome advice. I think Im just gonna go with the flow... let him decide.. act like its not bothering me if he doesnt wanna come and just do what I have to do. The thing about this that gets me the most is he chose 4 days before surgery to tell me this. I was finally getting all my ducks in a row and he pulls this crap. Im a stickler for organization and knowing whats going on at all times... it tweeks my brain a bit when things go awry. Im sure it will work itself out. I sound like SUCH a control freak, Im really not like that tho.. lol.

My Significant Other did that to me also the last time I had surgery....he forgot he was going out of town....and I DID drive myself to the hospital. Someone else brought me home and I left my car in parking lot a couple days before we went to get it...luckily I life just a block from the hospital. But this time he is going to be with me....men are very strange creatures...and like Rob said you don't need the extra stress, so just say "fine! I will find someone else" and let it go. Good luck by the way.

Your SO had a valid reason tho.. my man is taking off 2 weeks from work to HELP me. How is this help??? MEN!!! (No offense Rob da Caboose) My hospital is a good 30-40 minute drive away. Im not gonna stress about it tho.

No offense to Rob, but men tend to do this to try to detach themselves from the emotional stress of a situation. Why question is, what are you going to do with ur car since you have to stay there a couple days on top of you can't drive yourself home. But that's besides the point you have other things to worry about so take this with a grain of salt. And remember this is about you, it's your time, not time to worry about someone elses hang ups. Just my two cents from the peanut gallery