Help---Not too much family support- Please help

Good morning everyone! Okay, my surgery is scheduled on March 19th and I am not too nervous yet! (okay maybe a little) But my family (dad, bother & sister in-law) is making this very hard for me! They all reject the fact of me having surgery and they say a lot of negative things which is making me feel like if I have the sugery than I am going to die! My husband is supportive but very scared for me! What should I do????? How can I make my family understand how I feel? Please help me!!!!

If in all of this you have not been able to help them understand...then it is probably not going to happen until it is done. Most of the time when people are not supportive of something...It is either because they don't understand it or they are full of envy. However, the good part is that they will come around after the fact. Is your sister-in-law a big girl? Most of her feelings will flow over on to the brother. You Daddy is probably just scared for you and is not fully understanding the procedure. Tell them how you feel and leave it at that. You will not be able to sway them until they are ready. You can not bog yourself down with things that you can not control. I can say this because very few in my family are supportive. I have to love of God in my heart, and I know that he has prepared a path for me long before I even knew that there was a path. I am certain of this for you too. You will be able to find tons of support here and we love you. I will pray for you and you be in prayer for me...as I always need prayer. Thxs Shannon The Irish Lassie 3/17/04

They could also be scared for you (or of your strength of spirit) and not know how to voice it. In most cases like that the words that come out are negative because they just can't find the right words. Just think, if this is a confusing time for you, and you kinda know what's going on in your head and heart, they don't have that 'insider information' and so it's even more confusing for them. I know I'm confused and I know I have total support. My hubby is confused just living with me as my date gets closer and he's all for it. I think I'd better stop writing now because I'm starting to confuse myself! Just try to bear with them and know that they are doing the same with you. Please though don't let them rule your decisions, you are the only one who has to live inside you, do what's right for you and all else will filter down! Gayle Queen of Yarn Balls Resident B**** March 22nd

The Irish Lassie has it pegged just right. Stay confident in your own decision to do this and the understanding and support will follow. They will eventually see that you made the right choice. Stay connected to this group and you will do just fine.

I can completely relate!! My husband is not as supportive as I thought he would be. My other family is (mother, sister ect..). Even though my husbands sister had it done and he seemed to support her. When I came home from my consult and told him my surgery date, he got really freaked out. He kept saying "isn't it too soon" and that "wasn't I concerned about possibly leaving my daughter without a mother" and stuff like that. I had to explain to him that since I was borderline diabetic, high cholesterol and high blood pressure that this was my only option and that with these types of diseases that it would only be a matter of time before I died from these. He now say's that he supports me but I still don't feel that is completely true. I will look to my other support system when I need them. My mother had this done as well 3 years ago and if anybody can and will support me it is her. All I can say is hang in there and look for support elsewhere such as friends or here. I have found this website to be very conforting and the people great. Good Luck and God Bless.

What really quelled my fears was hearing directly from a surgeon that the risk isn't in the surgery but the fact that you are having surgery. The risk is the same if you had a gallbladder removed. So if you can get them to understand this it might help relax them a bit. I think people just get hooked on visualizing this and how different your body will be inside rather than seeing that you can live a perfectly normal and happy life afterwards. You can adapt to this lifestyle easily...like diabetics adapt to insulin injections. The thing is, this is a hell of a lot better than having to shoot insulin! Dina ----who has just started the dreaded diabetes w/in the last year and is looking forward to kicking it to the curb VERY soon!

Hi Karla, I don't think you can make your family understand. Everytime you turn on the tv someone is talking about the surgery most of the time it's not good. I live in Dundalk and attend support groups my day is March 8th. You can e-mail me if you would like and we can talk. I'm scared but that is natural. Good Luck!!!!!