:'( OT Having A Really Bad Day!

It is getting closer to my surgery, March 22nd and i have wanted this so long now. And well I have been doing really well other than getting excited and scared. The past two days I have been so depressed. "Me Depressed" The one who always seems to have good advice for others always happy and smiling. Well my hair has been falling out for like 6 months really bad been to the doctor 3 times and she has found nothing wrong other than my thyrod was a little high and was put on synthroid. and for the past 3 months I am so tired all the time. Slugish, And keep headaches and my legs hurt so bad from the knee down, it's so hard to sleep at night because of the pain, told all this to my doctor she has run so many test. found nothing, so i am thinking well maybe this is all in my head. Today it took all I had to just get up and do my laundry. I was so tired and i know I have things to do and just cant let them go. I went and dragged my butt in the shower after i got out I had a good look in the mirror and thought, god i am looking so old, so bad started blow drying my hair and seen how thin it really is getting turned around to see all the hair in my tub, thats when i lost it... I just sat in the floor and started crying. I have never been one to be depressed. No its no harmones I am on them. I have ruled out everything. You would think I would be so excited about this surgery I would not be worried about anything else. I called my mother and told her today I got a date for my surgery, she said thats good dear, i am kinda busy can you call me later. I was like ok mom, hung up the phone and cryed again, Then I called my son and wanted to tell him only to find out, his wife is back in the hosptial and she is very sick with db type 2 and my grandson they just found out has it now. So I did not wanna bother him with it. Sorry I am dumping all this on the board. Just cant seem to stop feeling sorry for myself. I so need to snap out of this. I am so tired of hurting all the time, I live in pain. And if you took the time to read this book I just wrote, well thank you so much for listening. There are some really wonderful people on this board, and I feel so quilty for dumping when there are so many others on here who have more problems then I do. (((Hugs))) Misty

Misty- You need a new doctor. I mean it, at least a second opinion. Look I had low thyroid and they put me on synthroid. You seem depressed and who wouldn't be. Everybody's got problems. You need to get your faced washed and give that gal in the mirror a good talking to. You are going to feel so much better without the weight. Your legs won't hurt and you can always buy a wig! Come on. You've been such a wonderful Marcher don't give into this now. We are here if you need us. Jewell

Misty, Sorry to hear you are having a rough day. I know I have had a few in the past. They are not fun, but this too shall pass! there, if I aimed that gun right, well your blues should be gone in no time!! I dont really have any advice, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and that we will get through this together!! Tomorrow is a new day! One step closer to your new life, and hopefully leaving some of the pain behind once you step through the doors to the other side!!

{{{{{{Misty}}}}}}} Hugs for you... Sowwy about your bad awfule horrible day.. No wonder you're feeling down.. you're in a bad situation right now. PLUS you're so close to something you've been wanting for so long and you want to scream from the rooftops and shout to the world and your mom wasn't as enthused as she could have been That hurts.. no one understands like we do what that date means to us so of course you were hurt again. Try to be good to yourself and get some rest (if possible) and hang in there.. This too shall pass... Hope you get to feeling better real soon.... Sinseerlee, Kathy Offishal Marchers Cheerleader Captain Flatulence Monitor Angel to the Queen "It's time to throw down the pom poms and get into the game!"

Misty: Someone who works with me and had the surgery 2 years ago said to take Zinc for the hair loss. I am not an expert either but I think you need an anti-depressant. Zoloft worked well for me for a while. I have now weaned myself off of it. But unfortunately, it takes about 6 weeks for it to kick in. I do agree with others that something else might be going on and you need another dr. opinion. I offer my support to you and extra hugs ((((((((((((Misty))))))))))) and prayers.

Misty .. .. I am sorry you are having such a bad day ......... (((((((((((((HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSS)))))))))) ... Don't feel guilty for dumping here. That is what we are here for ... and the Marchers are all in this together through thick and thin and good and bad ... etc.... There are a bunch of us March 22 marchers out here and we need you to be with us in the years to come to celebrate our re-birthdays together !!!! Hugs, Mo .. teachin' Misty the 22 days and a wake up happy dance

Thank you all so much for your support, and kind words, they do mean alot to me. Like I said you all are some wonderful people, and i do feel quilty for dumpin, as i know there are so many out there so worse off then I. And I wish sometimes I could save the world. *sighs* I think I have just been so overloaded with everything its just so taken a toll on me. But being able to come read this board and see how god works with so many words and wisdom through so many people is the only confert it seems I have at the moment. Once again thank you so much everyone. (((Hugs))) Misty

Melissa, I wish there was something that I could do or say that would take all this away for you. We ALL have our "thing", MINE..well my mother was just diagnosed wiht brain cancer, she 's 77 and is most likley gonna die within 60 days..the Sister and Brother that are caring for her has "blacklisted" me and the rest of the family, we are not allow to see or talk with our own mother. I'm haivng surgery on MONDAY 9:00 am and like you I got very very depressed for a few days, just didn't give a big crap about anything or anyone, didn't even care if I had surgery or not. TODAY, i've decided that yes my mother's life is over, there's nothing I can do about that but I MUST live, to live I MUST have surgery, to have surgery, I MUST have a positive outlook. I agree with the other poster, get a second opn. you stated that you hurt from the knee's down..do your feet burn? is it hard to keep your legs still at night when you sleep? if YES to any of these, you may have Neuropathy, ask your doctor to order a EMG/NCS for the lower extremities. You also may need to be on an anti-depressant. Keep your chin up..things WILL get better. Sending lots and lots of positive energy you way ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Melissa DS 3/01/04

Hi Misty Hon, First you have to get over this guilt trip you are putting on yourself by head talking yourself into believing that you are dumping on us and that others have bigger problems than yours. Your problems are as big as anyone else's on this board, and they are a problem for you and a big problem, now I have just validated that for you. You need to accept all our help, encouragement, advice and love that we all want to offer you. You are a good, kind, considerate, encouraging person and we all love you for it, and when you are hurting, we are hurting for you. Next, please get another doctors opinion, you owe it to yourself to take the best possible care there is out there for yourself. It is not uncommon to feel depression at this point, this surgery is a very stressful part of our lives and the closer we get, the more anxiety, doubts, and depression sets in, and an anti depressant sounds like it may be in order to just take off the rough edges. I'm not an expert on this, but I have worked in Counselor Education at a university for many, many years. Remember we all care for you and are here for you. Love, Betty

Hi Misty, I just would like to say your in my prayers, we all get into that kind of Funk mode from time to time its normal, I am in one right now! I am so happy I am having the surgery and I get so many emotions going all at once ,thinking of my kids , my wedding in July, the house the laundry the shopping, I know everyone will survive when I am laid up for a while but It still bothers me that I wont be able to care for them,especially my lil girl, then I think to myself what if something goes wrong that prevents me from having it done! It is so normal to have these emotions, if you feel the need seek some sort of council, it can only help, also some good old fashion cammamile tea before bed will help you a lil...best of luck! God Bless! Mary