Having a Melt Down!!!!

Okay, It's now my turn to melt down. Today is my baby girls third birthday and I started thinking what if this is the last birthday I celebrate with her and it has esculated from there. She is the joy of my life (as are both my boys) She is sooo special. We tried for sooo long to get her here with us. We battled infirtility for six years and were told that we couldn't have any more children. A year later, we were pregnant. She is our miricle. She didn't want to wait to arrive at the hospital, my husband delivered her in our van by the side of the road (we didn't have a cell so we didn't even have 911 to help us) It was us, the Angel over my shoulder, and God. Natalie has such a spark. I started thinking about not being there for her first date, the first day of school, prom, weddings, her first child -- I am just a bundle of nerves now. I am so afraid of leaving my children without a mother. My husband is wonderful (well, most of the time) but he would be a horrible single parent. He would count on his parents to raise the kids -- that would not be a good thing.. Connor has emotional problems and I worry what that would do to him. I worry that Natalie would lose her special spark. Cameron would be a total orphan (My husband is not his biological father, but has been there for him since he was a baby). Natalie is sooo young, she would forget me and not know how special she is. Am I making the right decision? Am I letting vanity get in the way of reality and common sense? Should I be taking such a costly risk? I've always been the one shouting from the top of my lungs to all of you "THINK POSITIVE" and somehow, this time I just can't -- get me back on track Marchers!!!! Whitney Angels: Baby Lori and Mommy Va

Honey! Meltdown is to be expected, it's normal and this too shall pass, just like when the kids melt down.... You are very normal and within range to feel this way. I have two friends who had the surgery and both went through the EXACT same 'phase' (not meaning to lighten it at all). Just the other day I started to do the same thing. I have four babies (my oldest just turned 17 and the youngest is 8). Anyway, try to think of the cool things Like the little jeans you will be wearing when you take Natalie to her first day of school. Little thoughts like that make the difference to me. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

I think you are looking at from the wrong direction...WITHOUT the surgery, you may not see her grown up.....you are doing what you need to and making a great sacrifice and commitment to your health in order to be there for your children much much longer than you might be without it. Hmmmm? Look at that way. Now, ME, my kids are grown....and I am doing it half for health and half for vanity! I want to look better and feel younger as I hit the senior retirement years..... But all reasons are valid.

Bless You Whitney!!! I have also wondered down this WHAT IF road. We have 4 children 2 girls 15 & 2 yrs and 2 boys 11 & 12 yrs. This is my second marriage and our youngest was an invetro baby. $10,000,all sorts of medications, giving myself shots everyday etc etc etc. Had 4 great eggs got one healthy baby girl. Sophie turned 2 this past November. I have been the one telling everyone around me that things are going to be fine. Now as the day gets closer ,March 4th I'm wondering also if I am doing the right thing. I AM..... I have decided that I want to be there for my kids but I want to be able to do things with them and my husband. I NEED to be healthy. This will make me happy ,it will make our family much more active. I hate sitting on the side lines watching everyone else have fun because anything to active makes me sweat and feel like I am having a heart attack. Only you know if you are doing the right thing or not. It is natural to be nervous and a little scared but look at what great things you are going to be able to do after surgery. You are not only doing this for yourself also for your children WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU!!!!!! Need a shoulder to cry on? Somewhere to vent? Someplace to turn to? The Marchers in Newpouch are here for you ( I sound like an info-mercial) Keep your spirits up and know we really care !!!!! Chief Nutkin (Karen)

Hi Whitney I think this is normal I went thru this friday night when I wrote letters to my kids in case something happened to me.It was terrible my husband said dont write these letters but I felt I needed to. I wrote 4 letters 1 to hubby 1 to each of my 3 kids it was so hard I cried for 3 hours straight trying to write these letters. When I went to bed I couldn't see my eyes hurt so bad.The next day when I woke up I had to go to post office to mail our income taxes hubby says to me I wouldnt go out if I was you.I't looks like someone beat the hell out of you my eyes were swollen so bad. But Sunday when I woke up I was fine I know I will do just fine and no one will ever have to read these letters.You will be ok also and just think how great you will look on your daughters 4th birthday and how you will be able to keep up with her.This is my first post but I do love to read all of your posts you guys are great! Lisa 13 days to go

This will ensure that you are around for all those things. Obesity will kill you. It's not about vanity.

Sounds like you have a special family. A lot to live for. Good thing you are taking steps to ensure that you will be there for them. You are still a month pre-op. The waiting is terrible. It will probably be even harder on you 4th and 5th weekers as you see more and more of us going ahead of you, but your turn will come. We will be fine and we will have a new lease on life because of the courageous decision we are making. Hang in there, my friend... Joy

Oh Whitney, I know exactly what you are going through. I went through this too and wouldn't be surprised if I go through it again before 3/11 gets here. I tried for years to have children. Had 3 mis-carriages, the last one at 5 months pregnant. Then battled many years where I couldn't even have a period much less get pregnant. Turning 30 for me was really really hard because I had dreamed to have a family by then. I had given up on ever having children and finally resigned myself to the fact that it was not meant to be. But you know what? God knew the right time and two days before my 32nd birthday my precious William was born. I was so happy to have him! I wanted another one too but I didn't think it would happen. I thought, I should just be happy because I have one more child than I thought I would have. But I so wanted him to have a sibling so that he wouldn't have to grow up a single child. When he was 9 months old I found out I was pregnant again and when he was 17 months old I had my beautiful Anna. They are now 2 1/2 and 15 months. It kills me to think that I could die from having this surgery and never see them again. But you know what? I know that without this surgery, I could die before they grow up anyway. Obesity kills. That is a proven fact. Even if I don't die early of obesity, what kind of life do I have with my children as a MO person? I don't really have one because there is so much that I cannot do. Sweetie, your fears and anxieties are normal and they are OK. But you have to keep your eyes on the goal. I don't think you are doing this for vanity reasons. Stop and make a list of all the things you cannot do with your kids now that you want to do. This becomes your list of things to look forward to when you start losing weight!!! Think of running in the yard with them, rolling on the floor with them, riding bikes, pulling them in the wagon, going down the slide with them (instead of sitting on the park bench like I do now), going to the zoo (without having to stop at every bench to rest) etc. etc. etc. I truly believe that God will protect you and bring you out of this in much better health. I look at like this. God gave me two beautiful miracle babies. He MUST have wanted me to be a mom! He gave you a miracle baby too (all of them actually). You were meant to be the Mother of those children and you will be fine. Give your babies a hug, let yourself have the feelings you are having and then come to us and get all the support you need. Just because you are the one who says THINK POSITIVE doesn't mean you don't get to have melt downs too. You are allowed. And when you have them you do just what you did today and you get your little tail on here and let us give you all the love and support you need!!! I am saying a special prayer right now for you. Father God, please reach down and touch Whitney, our dear friend, and give her Your peace. Place your angels around her Lord and let her know that you are there carrying her through this time in her life when she is struggling. Father, help all of us Marchers to be there for her in the way that she needs most. We thank You Lord for our Friend Whitney and we thank You that you are in control. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen! We love ya girl!!! Carrie Carrie Quite Contrary (a/k/a CCQC) March Elevener and PROUD to be a Marcher in Newpouch, USA Offishal Assistant Paper Monkey and Secretary Extaordinaire AND Offishal Keeper of the Marcher Title Duty Roster My Angel ==> Amber W. My Angellettes ==> Joann B. , (LaDonna D.? , Jill C.? still waiting to hear back from LaDonna and Jill if they want me to be their Angel)

Awwwwwww {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Whitney}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} It's gonna be OK... When you meltdown us marchers will un melt you back up!!!! These feelings and doubts are completely normal.. Ride out this bad time and tomorrow you'll be looking forward to your happy healthy new lifestyle! Then you can tell Natalie... "Mommy wasn't alway so skinny and such a hottie" It's not about vanity.. you're letting those negative comments eat at your brain and we're not having it... Put on your positive shield and set it to defcon 1..... Sinseerlee, Kathy Offishal Marchers Cheerleader Captain Flatulence Monitor Angel to the Queen "It's time to throw down the pom poms and get into the game!"

(((((Whitney)))))) It is perfectly understandable what you are going through; however, think about all the things you will be able to do with your kids that you can not do now. Ask yourself, without this surgery Do I know if I will be here for my kids 10 yrs down the road? I think you will do great and you have a lot of prayer warriors behind you!! Bethany AKA Da Offishal Riddler 5 Days till NewPouch A riddle a day will keep the Marchers pouds AWAY!