Hello Marchers, I am scared and excited??!!??

Tori We all get scared I don't know why you felt the need to go there, but now that you did, you need to put it all in perspective. 1) Have you exhausted each and every avenue before you came to WLS 2) Have you done your research 3) Do you have faith a) in yourself b) your surgeon c) God 4) What will the quality of your life be like if you do not loose that 125 When you answer these questions, maybe that will help. Hang in there I know that you are going to be OK Whitney

Tori, I am so glad you wrote this post. I feel the same exact way, I am TERRIFIED at the thought of losing my life on the table. The thought that my daughter may not have her mommy. And then again, I get overcome with EXCITEMENT at the thought of all the things I am going to be able to do with her once I am a healthy person again. I have about 250 lbs to lose myself and I know it will be a long road. I talk to my grandmother and grandfathe and God and make deals, plea's and anything else I can think of to beg them to make me come out of this so I can be there for my daughter. The way I think of it is this: I can die in the surgery trying to better myself for her or I can die of a heart attack right in front of her in the next 3 years. What choice do we have? Sam

Hi Tori, You are not alone in feeling like this. I have a rambunctios son, William, who is 2 1/2 and a beautiful girl, Anna, who is 15 months old today. I worry about that all the time. But I also look at it like this: I have had my tonsils out, my appendix out, knee surgery and 3 laprascopic surgeries to remove cysts from my ovaries. Plus my two c-sections to have my babies. Every time I had a surgery I was at risk of dying. I think we worry about this surgery more because of the fact that we use food as our friend and comforter. I think, for me anyway, that the scary part is not the surgery itself but the dealing with the loss of a wonderful (and not so wonderful) friend, food. I know that I have the same risks with this surgery as any of the other surgeries I had. But I am worried about how I will deal with the loss of my good friend. Food has been there for me when no one else was. It doesn't care if I'm happy, sad, mad, scared, lonely, bored or a combination of all. It has always been there when I have needed lifting up or company. But I won't be able to use it like I did and I am scared I won't be able to handle that. I don't remember where I read it, but somewhere during my research for the WLS I read a poem that someone wrote. I will try to find it. It was basically a good-bye poem to our "friend", food. It was really good. I will look for that and if I find it I will post it on the board. Anyway, all that blabbering to say: You are not alone. You are normal. And the Marchers are here for you!!!! AND, I don't know WHO told you to go to the Memorial page BEFORE your surgery but they were being very insensitive. Yes, you need to know about all the risks, pros and cons before surgery but to be overwhelmed with all that is not the way to do it. THIS surgery carries the same risks as other surgeries. I am praying for you and all other Marchers that we will have a sense of peace in moving towards our surgery dates. Something that helped me was to sit down and write a list of things that I can't do now that I will be able to do after I lose some of this weight. Like play ball with my kids, sit on the floor with them, run in the park with them, pull them in their wagon, go to the zoo and actually go ALL the way through it in one day etc. etc. etc. I then made copies of my list and posted in throughout my house where I would see it as I go through my day. Then when I start worrying, I look at that list and it lifts me up and reminds me of why I'm doing this. Sometimes you just need a reminder of why you are on this journey to begin with. I will quit talking now and say my prayers for you. God Bless!!!! I'm sending you an angel for each day of the week! Carrie

I know exactly how you feel. I was reading profiles as I was looking at before/after pictures and ran across some who mentioned someone they knew who passed on after surgery and it was starting to get to me. It was scaring me and psyching me out. So I had to get my head back straight b/c that is not something I want on my mind at all. So now I just look at the photos and don't read the profiles just to keep my mind at ease. I get nervous sometimes b/c I don't know what's going to happen but it passes. I'm more anxious than anything. Try to think positive thoughts.

Well, after hearing a local surgeon explain it to me, I feel much better about my fears. He said that having this surgery carries the same risks as having your gallbladder out or any other sort of surgery. Because it's not the type of surgery but the fact that you are under anesthesia and obese. So that is why they encourage us to walk walk walk and move around a lot because clots are the main concern. Think of it this way: Would you be as scared and nervous if you were going in for your gallbladder out or appendix? Probably not (although I'm sure there would be nerves, the fear of dying isn't as prevalent). We know there are risks, but you have to consider your own risk factors and where you fall in the small percentage of folks who do pass on from complications. Try not to dwell on it too much! Dina

Hi Thank you for all of you support and insight, and thanks for caring, I am feeling better now about this surgery, I was talking to post-ops, about this thru my emails, and they are the ones to recommend the memorial site, at first I thought that it was a before and after type of thing, I am so dumb sometimes, I did not even know that this site had a memorial site about people dying, I wish that I never came across that site, anyways, I have had my spleen removed one time and that another time I had my appendix removed, so I shoud do fine. Thanks so much!!! Tori

Tori, this was my posting about a week ago almost verbatim... it was dated 2/18 and titled something to the tune of "dealing w/death and have babies at home" or something like that. you might want to go back and find it. ALOT of people responded those two days and i took some advice. I did NOT go to the memorial page, and, i wrote letters to my husband, children, and close friends/family. I still am so afraid too. My surgery is 3/9 at 7am. Right now I am more worried about how I am going to handle afterlife w/a 6 month old baby at home and no real help after my husband goes back to work. apparently, im not supposed to lift anything over 10lbs for about 6 weeks. i am still in the needing help getting passed the whole death thing stage. i know its like 1 in 200, but a person in the industry said that that is the rate for open bypass. could the death rate for laproscopic be different? i think i will post that question on a separate link. good luck !! kimberly