Hello Marchers, I am scared and excited??!!??

Hi I am scared, because surgery is coming up, and I made a big mistake, I looked at the memorial page, why I did do that?? Well, I had questions, and some people suggested that I go to that sight, what was I thinking, I need to look at the postive things, but I am so scared of dying, I need to lose about 125 pounds and I am starting to think maybe I am risking my life for losing with thru surgery, I just need to know what to do, I have children, and I do not want anything to go wrong, I need all of the support I can get, does anyone else have this scared one minute and excited the next, please help me Marchers!! Tori

I don't know how to get to that page, and I'm glad.... After surgery, I'll go there and pay my respects... If it will help, write a letter to your children explaining why your doing what your doing - to be given to them ONLY in the case of your death. And after surgery you can gleefully burn the thing while your shrinking 125 pounds and playing softball with your kids. Here's how I look at it - I had my tubes tied laproscopically, and I came through that just fine. Stop looking at it emotionally, and start looking at it logically. There are risks in any surgery - they tell you that over & over again.. Why do we fear THIS one more than any other? More than lasering our eyeballs, or tying our tubes, or getting our gall bladder out? Noone wants to die - but, I figure If I stay at this weight, I might as well be dead, because I'm miserable. Linda

Hi Linda It is true there is risk with any surgery, I do appreciate your input, I think I am in a slump right now, a week ago, I was just worried if I can have pizza and diet soda, now I am worring about dying, my husband tells me, I will be okay, and he said not to do the surgery if I am so scared, well I still want the surgery, just a little scared, I believe I will be okay in a few days, or maybe I will change my surgery to a VBG, but it still carry the same complications, well, thanks for your help, I am just babbling, LOL. Tori

Tori Tori, You know I think anybody who is not scared and excited is not human. I was freakin one day and talking to my hubby who is fighting cancer and part of his fight was surgery (not WLS), He said if I can get thur it so can you. I said this is different because I'm choosing to have this surgery and he HAD to have it to live. He looked at me and said so do you!!!!!!!!!!! Remember why you are doing this. That brings things into perspectiive most times. Hang in there it will get better. Give it to God. Find your peace and hang onto it. We're here. Marchers rule Offisah Jester : Betsy

Hi Betsy Thanks for responding, I hope that your husband is doing well, I do need to give this to God, that is so simple, he will bring me through this just fine, thanks for your support. Tori

I feel the same way. I can't get past the scared stage. My date is March 1st and all my labs and x-rays have been done and at 6:00am on March 1st I guess it'll all take place. I'd love to write to you again and let you know how is was. The straight out truth, none of this oh it was great crap. I'll look for you again later. Good Luck

Tori... No joking here...WHO are these people who told you to go to that sight and WHY did they say you should go there? I'm asking this for a reason. Kimmer

Uh oh--Kimmer's goin to go get em! Tori... We tried to tell you... Joy (3/1)

I'm with you Kimmer! Go Get Um!!!!!! Carrie

Nope...no one to "get". I'll admit, I spent the better part of this morning looking through the main board, the Kentucky board, and a couple of other places to see who advised Tori to do this. I emailed Tori to find who it was, and she said it was replies to a post of hers. I found all of Tori's posts and replies, but not a single person advised her to go to that page. To the contrary, with the exception of one person, they all advised AGAINST it. The only one who was "on the fence" was the one who gave her the link, but she can't be faulted as she supplied information that Tori asked for. Maybe Tori meant email replies - ? I dunno. All I can think is that it may be someone not on AMOS who "advised" her to do this. My real question was this: what was their motivation? Why would they advise something of that nature in this delicate moment in her life? I'm a little sensitive to some of the buzz regarding us pre-ops right now. I'm proud of the Marchers, and of how genuinely concerned we are for each other. I'm "kidnapping" those out there who need to be supported by us and bringing them in to Newpouch. That's why I wanted to know who these harmful advisors might be - was it any of those who're "discussing" pre-ops and how unprepared and unknowledgeable we are about WLS (in their opinion)? If so, I'd just chalk it off to their lack of concern for a new, scared pre-op, and to forgetting "from whence they came". But in fairness to them, I don't even think they'd do something like this. Fair is fair, and I call it like it is. We're all big kids here. The decisions we make are our own. We're taking responsibility for our lives by having WLS in the first place. It's probably the biggest decision some of us will ever make in our lives. But we have to take responsibility for the decisions, even the bad decisions. I'm an advocate of "tough love", which my friends and family will attest to. Tory made her own decision to go to that board, and went to several places to find out how to get to it. She actively pursued it. Only one person actually "helped" her by providing a link. There are a lot of people out there who feel compelled to go to that page. I suppose I'll be visiting it...but not until WELL after I'm recuperated. IMHO, I'm not going to invite any negativity into my mind. I don't understand what compels people to make their lives more difficult, but I'm me, I'm not them. I can't force-feed common sense to anyone. But we all have to make sure we enter our experience with the most positive thoughts and preparations we possibly can. Some of us are buying "relaxation" tapes and CDs for pre-surg, some are reading inspirational stuff, some will be looking at pictures of their loved ones before they're wheeled into the surgical suite - we're all doing what we need to do to prepare us for the best emotional state of mind for our surgeries. IMHO, going to that page is just ambushing your emotional preparation and/or recovery. Anyway, there's no one to 'get'. I'll still run to the aid of anyone who needs me here, there's no doubt about that. And I'm sure there'll be Marchers who've beaten me there, and a crowd following, but everyone's fears will be worked through, and all of your concerns will be taken in as our own. But please, everyone, use your NOGGIN. This is a difficult enough time as it is for you, don't make it worse. Love you all dearly... Kimmer