WANNA PLAY????

Girl I am with you on the piercings!! I already miss my tongue ring!

Im most afraid of not making it out of the hospital and never being able to hug my little boys ever again. :`( How am I gonna wipe my butt after surgery? My fiance and my mother are tied for my biggest supporters. To be able to be a better mommy to my kids. 145lbs and happy.

1. I think my biggest concern/fear is that when I get home and for the next few weeks I won't really know what/when to eat. 2. Can't think of anything embarrassing to ask. I've done lots of research, so hopefully I have it all covered! 3. My Mom, definitely, has been my biggest supporter. I started researching this surgery in 2001 and talked to her about it. She felt apprehensive for me because she had no information on it, but the main factor in making the decision then, and over the next couple of years was the cost. The health coverage I had then didn't cover it and I was working retail and couldn't self-pay. She called me up last summer and out of the blue told me that she had decided to have the surgery! I hadn't even started my OWN process by that time! Apparently she'd done more research and her PCP had suggested it the last time she saw him. Her decision to go forward with it really cemented my decision too. I had a good job by then and the right insurance, and the rest is history! (Her date is April 14th!) My boyfriend is very supportive of what I want and need, and if that is this surgery, he supports that as well. The only problem (which isn't actually a problem!) is that he loves, adores, and accepts me exactly as I am right now and doesn't exactly see the need for the surgery as much as I do. His impression of or feelings for me don't change when my weight changes. I wish I was as accepting of myself!! 4. Because when I gain weight I shut down socially and I become very depressed about my life. I am a very optimistic, fun, and funny person and it is very heartbreaking to just shut down that part of myself and stay away from the people I love and who want to spend time with me, just because I feel terrible about the way I look. I am a singer/songwriter and (unlike Carnie, the brave soul) I wouldn't DREAM of getting up on a stage to perform at this weight. I've played my music all over the country, backpacking from state to state for months at a time, but when I did I was in my twenties and weighed about 140. That is in no way a feasible scenario at the weight I am now. (Plus, I'm older now and the whole sleep-on-the-bus and trade-comfort-for-adventure days are OVER!) hehehe! I want to have my Splenda-laden cake and eat it too! 5. In March of 2005 I see myself as being more on track with something artsy in my career, because of the confidence and courage I know I'll have gained. I see myself as having dropped at least 80 pounds which will put me in a size that I can find at most any store. I imagine realistically that I will have lost more than that in one year, but I am just going to be cautiously optimistic and focus more on my routine of exercise and healthy eating! I love this game!!!!! Katarina

Wow! What great questions!!! 1. That I won't be able to have the surgery due to the bone infection in my leg. I'm also afraid of getting really bad blood clots because I won't be able to wear my prosthesis by then, so I won't be walking. 2. What does it feel like to have sex as a skinny person? 3. Kirk, my fiancee. He has stuck with me through SOOOOO much the two years we've been together. I love him to death! 4. Because I want to do everything that I can't do now. I want to be healthy. I'm tired of taking medicine to keep me alive. Besides that, I want to look really, really hot! (Not the temperature kind of hot either! LOL) 5. Down to goal weight, or near it. I also want to be searching for a plastic surgeon. I will either be working, or finishing up school. And, last but not least, I'll be planning my wedding! (the wedding's October 15th!)

1. What's the thing scaring you the most right now? Thinking about what kind of shape my office is going to be in when I return 2. What's the most embarrassing thing you want to ask and are afraid too?? I don't get embarrassed. 3. Who has been your biggest supporter?? My wonderful Husband 4. Why are you having this surgery?? To give me a better quality of life. 5. Where do you see yourself NEXT MARCH???? Look up...I'll probably be so high on life I'll be walking on clouds Mj

Scary: Not coming home. But I am still ready for the surgery. I have the tongs ready, but I never had kids or major surgery so I am still a little prudish. How am I gonna let my best girl friend wipe my butt? As close as we are...I am not that way Supporter, my other girl friend Voncille, she has even offered me access to her closet when I get down to her weight. She wanted to be with me the week of surgery but had already planned a trip to Switzerland. Think she would change that date? I do not want her to..I want her to go and have fun so she can help me during week 2 at home. I am having this surgery for me, me me. I have always put others first, I even put off this decision for a year due to my mom's health. I do not want health issues like she has. this one is for me and I am not changing my mind, date or time. Next March: 100 lbs lighter and being confident about me.

1. What's the thing scaring you the most right now? IT WONT WORK FOR ME 2. What's the most embarrassing thing you want to ask and are afraid too?? BATHROOM HYGEINE - cleaning my bum post op 3. Who has been your biggest supporter?? ME 4. Why are you having this surgery?? FOR ME 5. Where do you see yourself NEXT MARCH???? HEALTHIER AND WEIGHING 100 POUNDS LESS Good poll - thanks!

Hey I disappeared, I will have to answer all over again. I don't know if I will remember what I wrote (and darn it, it was good stuff!!!) There are two things that are scaring me right now 1) Not making it through this -- I don't want to leave my children without a mother, but then I think about not being able to be the mother that I want to be and I want this more than anything. I want to be able to play with them, not just sit on the sidelines and watch anymore!!!!!! 2) I fear failing like I have always failed before. I don't want to go through this only to not have it work. I worry that the thing that got me to this point, will keep me here. How am I going to deal with those inner demons? The most embarrassing thing I want to ask I would not have even thought of until I read a book by Carnie Wilson -- she asked it and didn't really give an answer and left me thinking Well???? But I do not have her guts and I will not ask this question!!!! My biggest supporter is my mom. Go figure? She has never really supported me much in my life. I told her that I was going to do this and she got all excited for me and said she thought this was going to change my life. She is so excited, she took it upon herself to tell the entire women's group in our church that I was having WLS!!! One lady came up to me after services on Sunday and said "Your mom told me your big news." and I'm like what news is that?? I am having this surgery because I'm tired. I'm tired of taking pills, I'm tired of being unhappy with myself, I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines of life, and I'm tired of being tired. I want to change and I don't know any other way to do it. Next March, I will be jumping with my kids on the trampoline, I will be healthy!!!! I will be dancing with my husband (something we haven't done in the fifteen years that we have been together -- that's another story) and he will be proud of me!!! Thanks Kathy!!!!!! This is fantastic!!!! Whitney