ok, now I'm scared...
First let me say that I am deeply sorry for the Death of Jade Green. Her family will be in my prayers. God Bless them all.
I have to say now after reading about her death, I am scared. Jade was only 23 years old. She died from an infection from having a leak. I am only 24 years old and I know that I'm taking a risk by going to have this surgery, I want to have this done so badly, But I'm now scared. Just reading about some one my age dying is so scary. Please help....
Hi Kelley,
I have done a lot of research and from that I know that there are a lot of docs out there who do not do leak tests before allowing you to have fluids. I would say to ease your mind that you might think about asking your Dr. what his policy is on that. Does he do a leak test? If so, how many? Some docs do a leak test and then do another one before sending you home. Some docs do a leak test and then everything is colored blue until your drain tube comes out so that if anything leaks you will have blue coloring in your drain tube and can call immediately. And then there are those that don't do any leak test at all. Talk to your doc about your worries.
I don't know if that helps you any or not. I hope it does.
Carrie
Kelley, Hunny, Buddy, Pal, Kiddo...
Take a deep breath and calm down, toots. 
I don't know who Jade Green is, but there've been a few Jade Greens who've lost their lives to WLS. I'm sorry for them all. They knew that there was a risk involved, just as you and I and we all know there is. But it's a risk she (and I...and you...) was willing to take rather than live her life like we're living them now. The chances of this being a mortal procedure are LOW. But the risk IS there, and we still have to do our 'homework' and be responsible to ourselves. Do I want to drink only fluids for a week after surgery? Probably won't want to, but I'll do it 'cuz it's necessary. Why can't I just go and have some soft mushy macaroni and cheese after the clear liquid stage? 'Cuz my pouch won't be healed enough yet to deal with it, and I don't want to screw it up, and the surgeon said it's not a good idea. How am I gonna take my meds those first few weeks (two of my pills are bigger than my stoma will be)? Don't know, will have the surgeon figure that out and follow his instructions (have already tried crushing 'em and putting 'em in Koolaid, and barfed 'em back up...that didn't work). I bought a brand new digital thermometer to monitor my temp for fever (infection), I've written all the emergency numbers on a neon-paper list and it's on my refrigerator JUST in case something happens immediatly post-op when my Mom's taking care of me, so she'll have the numbers at ready quick access JUST IN CASE, I'm writing up my "no code" documents and my will and they're in the proper hands. See -- responsibility in an easy format. 
The other way we can be responsible to ourselves is to do our 'homework' and take everyone else's experiences in to the hospital WITH us. How many patients has your surgeon "lost"? Don't know? Ask him. (Mine hasn't lost one ever -- I asked him -- and only 40% of his practice is bariatrics, and he's been a surgeon for over 19 years.) Have you asked your surgeon when/if/how he does a "leak test"? If not, get on that phone and call his office and ASK. I know mine does it 'cuz I asked him. He does it the morning AFTER surgery, before he'll let me have ANYTHING. When/how will yours do it? If yours doesn't do it, WHY DOESN'T HE????!?!? (It's pretty much SOP.) I asked mine how I'll know if I have a leak, what to do if I think I do, etc. He answered all my questions, and in fact, it's all in the materials he gave me (I discovered this after I 'drilled' him). So your homework for today is this: dial up your surgeon's office and get answers to your questions. Write your questions down in a list before you call so you can just pop 'em off one by one and not have to depend on remembering what you wanted to ask him. And do it now so you don't dwell on this topic and psych yourself into an unnecessary frantic state of being. Do everything possible to prepare for this surgery, the 'let it go'. You can't prepare for the unknown.
Another thing people often forget is that we are PAYING these doctors to do a SERVICE for us, and we often forget to look at it that way. We don't want to 'bother' them, or 'be a pest'. WLS is even a touchier area, since we're so desperate for these surgeons to re-plumb us, and we're leery about saying/doing anything to "make him mad at me". No way. These surgeons are 'servicing' us for a fee, but their workplace is MY BODY, and the longterm effect is MY LIFE. If you had a plumber in to rip out your galvanized pipes and totally replumb your house with top-of-the-line copper, would you let him do a crap job on it? Nope. If you discovered that the new plumbing under your bathroom sink leaked the moment he walked out your door with your check in his hand, would you just let him walk away? I doubt it. You'd drag his wealthy butt back in and say "Ah, you're not going anywhere 'til you fix this...I paid you good money for a good job, and this AIN'T good..." You'd hold him to providing you GOOD service for the FEE you paid him. Parallel that to your surgeon: he is NOT a "god" (as many think they are). He's a surgeon, someone you've hired, and you're entitled to get the best bang for your buck from him, and that includes asking him questions about HOW and WHEN and WHY he'll be doing what he's doing and expect answers. Hold him to it...it's not only your money, it's your life. 
You're maniacal enough as you are, my dearest Kelley, and we don't want you blowing major brain lobes with unnecessary worrying...can't HAVE that!! 
Now, go do your homework. And stay away from that tea...
Kim
Take a deep breath and calm down, toots.
I don't know who Jade Green is, but there've been a few Jade Greens who've lost their lives to WLS. I'm sorry for them all. They knew that there was a risk involved, just as you and I and we all know there is. But it's a risk she (and I...and you...) was willing to take rather than live her life like we're living them now. The chances of this being a mortal procedure are LOW. But the risk IS there, and we still have to do our 'homework' and be responsible to ourselves. Do I want to drink only fluids for a week after surgery? Probably won't want to, but I'll do it 'cuz it's necessary. Why can't I just go and have some soft mushy macaroni and cheese after the clear liquid stage? 'Cuz my pouch won't be healed enough yet to deal with it, and I don't want to screw it up, and the surgeon said it's not a good idea. How am I gonna take my meds those first few weeks (two of my pills are bigger than my stoma will be)? Don't know, will have the surgeon figure that out and follow his instructions (have already tried crushing 'em and putting 'em in Koolaid, and barfed 'em back up...that didn't work). I bought a brand new digital thermometer to monitor my temp for fever (infection), I've written all the emergency numbers on a neon-paper list and it's on my refrigerator JUST in case something happens immediatly post-op when my Mom's taking care of me, so she'll have the numbers at ready quick access JUST IN CASE, I'm writing up my "no code" documents and my will and they're in the proper hands. See -- responsibility in an easy format.
The other way we can be responsible to ourselves is to do our 'homework' and take everyone else's experiences in to the hospital WITH us. How many patients has your surgeon "lost"? Don't know? Ask him. (Mine hasn't lost one ever -- I asked him -- and only 40% of his practice is bariatrics, and he's been a surgeon for over 19 years.) Have you asked your surgeon when/if/how he does a "leak test"? If not, get on that phone and call his office and ASK. I know mine does it 'cuz I asked him. He does it the morning AFTER surgery, before he'll let me have ANYTHING. When/how will yours do it? If yours doesn't do it, WHY DOESN'T HE????!?!? (It's pretty much SOP.) I asked mine how I'll know if I have a leak, what to do if I think I do, etc. He answered all my questions, and in fact, it's all in the materials he gave me (I discovered this after I 'drilled' him). So your homework for today is this: dial up your surgeon's office and get answers to your questions. Write your questions down in a list before you call so you can just pop 'em off one by one and not have to depend on remembering what you wanted to ask him. And do it now so you don't dwell on this topic and psych yourself into an unnecessary frantic state of being. Do everything possible to prepare for this surgery, the 'let it go'. You can't prepare for the unknown.
Another thing people often forget is that we are PAYING these doctors to do a SERVICE for us, and we often forget to look at it that way. We don't want to 'bother' them, or 'be a pest'. WLS is even a touchier area, since we're so desperate for these surgeons to re-plumb us, and we're leery about saying/doing anything to "make him mad at me". No way. These surgeons are 'servicing' us for a fee, but their workplace is MY BODY, and the longterm effect is MY LIFE. If you had a plumber in to rip out your galvanized pipes and totally replumb your house with top-of-the-line copper, would you let him do a crap job on it? Nope. If you discovered that the new plumbing under your bathroom sink leaked the moment he walked out your door with your check in his hand, would you just let him walk away? I doubt it. You'd drag his wealthy butt back in and say "Ah, you're not going anywhere 'til you fix this...I paid you good money for a good job, and this AIN'T good..." You'd hold him to providing you GOOD service for the FEE you paid him. Parallel that to your surgeon: he is NOT a "god" (as many think they are). He's a surgeon, someone you've hired, and you're entitled to get the best bang for your buck from him, and that includes asking him questions about HOW and WHEN and WHY he'll be doing what he's doing and expect answers. Hold him to it...it's not only your money, it's your life.
You're maniacal enough as you are, my dearest Kelley, and we don't want you blowing major brain lobes with unnecessary worrying...can't HAVE that!!
Now, go do your homework. And stay away from that tea...
Kim
Kelly,
When you made your decision about WLS, you decided that the benefits for you outweighed the risks. (Or, put another way, the risks without the surgery were greater than the risks with it). I assume you were aware of ther risks, not ignoring them when you made the decision.
That decision is made. This is not the time to be re-evaluating or focusing on the risks. This is not the time to be visiting the memorial page or second-guessing ourselves. This is the time to be focusing on the benefits and preparing ourselves for out new lives.
I beg all of you who are scared, write down the reasons that you decided to have WLS. Review this list each day and each time negative thoughts come into your head. Avoid horror stories as much as possible. You can govern your thoughts and direct your feelings.
...Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praisworthy--think about such things. Phillipians 4:8
Hang in there. Birth probably wasn't fun, but think of all we would have missed if we had stayed in that warm, dark place!!! (Besides, our Moms would have hated us!)
Joy "Canary" (3/1) We canaries will check it out first...
Touche, Joy-ful Canary of Ours! 
For me, it all goes back (at least to me) to "my" verse -- Romans 8:28: "For we know that ALL things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose".
Hey, I swore not to logon to this website, but I did. And it's working "for good" (I think, anyway, or at least it's good for me...:hehe:...). After 29 years of > 2 packs a day, I quit smoking JUST LIKE THAT 'cuz my first surgeon said I had to in order to have WLS...definitely on the top 10 list of "for good"s that have happened in my entire life. My first surgeon/hospital turned into "a wash", but look at who/where I've got now...SO WAAAAY much better "for good" there. Last week my PATs pointed out a terrifying condition I never knew I had..."for good" that we found out. My PCP sez WLS will take care of that condition, even though I didn't know it when I opted for the surgery...how much more "for good" can it get? So, I look at all the "for good" good things that have come about JUST SO FAR because of this, and I'm not going to allow anyone/anything steal my peace about this. I refuse to allow it to happen. Fortunately, I haven't had a bit of doubt since I began, so it hasn't been difficult (but you guys may be peeling me off the ceiling around the March 7th & 8th......be prepared!).
For those who are doubting, keep something in mind: your Doctors have said you need this, your insurance company (with all THEIR hoops to jump) have approved you for it...what part of that combination don't you 'get'? 
Stop second-guessing, and start "first" guessing at how soon you're going to lose those first 50 pounds, and start guessing about what new things you're going to be able to experience this summer, and start guessing at what new clothes or accessories you're gonna ask Santa for this Christmas that you'd've NEVER even considered asking him for before WLS, and start guessing at what you'll weigh/what size you'll be on your "WLS Anniversary Date", and start guessing (for those who this'll apply to) when you'll hit "The Century Club"...quit the second-guessing, and start "first" guessing about new and fun and GOOD things! ENJOY this pre-op time...wallow in your fantasies about what the outcome of WLS will be! 
EXERCISE FOR WORRIERS: 
Write yourself a letter. Write how you feel today, your doubts, your fears, your expectations about your upcoming WLS and your new life. Write what you THINK it'll be like - how terrible will the pureed part of the diet be...how MIND BOGGLING do you think your pain will be post-op...how long do you think it'll be before you can buy THREE sizes smaller clothes... Write it all down for historical value. Just pour yourself out into that letter. Then put it in a safe place, and LEAVE IT THERE. Metaphorically, you've just "let it go", you've given it away. You've voiced your deepest thoughts and emotions, but you've LET GO of them. But...remember where you SAFELY stored it, then open it on your 1 year WLS anniversary...and I guarantee you'll be LAUGHING on that date! We psych ourselves RIGHT OUT OF THE JOY that we can have in life! (No pun intended there, Joy-ous C -- you're a keeper!). Don't let anyone or anything rob you of that!!
I'm gonna get off my soap box (sorry 'bout that...didn't mean to "go there"), but you guys just HAVE to quit letting all the gloom and doom get to you and start getting GIDDY HAPPY about what the end result IS going to be for us! (Not "may" be, but IS going to be!) 
Hey, we're living through the last few days of a LOUSY life-style...I'm laughing in the face of my pain and aching knowing it'll only be for a little while longer! 
Even my co-workers have noticed that although I still cringe when I try to stand up, my spirits are higher than they've been in months (which is TOTALLY getting on their nerves, they think I've 'lost it'...
)...it's 'cuz I know it's only a bit more than 4 weeks from now that THESE DAYS OF PAIN WILL BE GONE FOREVER!!! For every minute you catch yourself pondering something negative about your WLS, MAKE yourself spend FIVE minutes on something that'll be GOOD about it. You are the only one who has control over your thoughts, and you CAN control them! So don't MAKE me come over there and SLAP some happy into you...
Kimmer
For me, it all goes back (at least to me) to "my" verse -- Romans 8:28: "For we know that ALL things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose".
Hey, I swore not to logon to this website, but I did. And it's working "for good" (I think, anyway, or at least it's good for me...:hehe:...). After 29 years of > 2 packs a day, I quit smoking JUST LIKE THAT 'cuz my first surgeon said I had to in order to have WLS...definitely on the top 10 list of "for good"s that have happened in my entire life. My first surgeon/hospital turned into "a wash", but look at who/where I've got now...SO WAAAAY much better "for good" there. Last week my PATs pointed out a terrifying condition I never knew I had..."for good" that we found out. My PCP sez WLS will take care of that condition, even though I didn't know it when I opted for the surgery...how much more "for good" can it get? So, I look at all the "for good" good things that have come about JUST SO FAR because of this, and I'm not going to allow anyone/anything steal my peace about this. I refuse to allow it to happen. Fortunately, I haven't had a bit of doubt since I began, so it hasn't been difficult (but you guys may be peeling me off the ceiling around the March 7th & 8th......be prepared!).
For those who are doubting, keep something in mind: your Doctors have said you need this, your insurance company (with all THEIR hoops to jump) have approved you for it...what part of that combination don't you 'get'? Stop second-guessing, and start "first" guessing at how soon you're going to lose those first 50 pounds, and start guessing about what new things you're going to be able to experience this summer, and start guessing at what new clothes or accessories you're gonna ask Santa for this Christmas that you'd've NEVER even considered asking him for before WLS, and start guessing at what you'll weigh/what size you'll be on your "WLS Anniversary Date", and start guessing (for those who this'll apply to) when you'll hit "The Century Club"...quit the second-guessing, and start "first" guessing about new and fun and GOOD things! ENJOY this pre-op time...wallow in your fantasies about what the outcome of WLS will be!
EXERCISE FOR WORRIERS: Write yourself a letter. Write how you feel today, your doubts, your fears, your expectations about your upcoming WLS and your new life. Write what you THINK it'll be like - how terrible will the pureed part of the diet be...how MIND BOGGLING do you think your pain will be post-op...how long do you think it'll be before you can buy THREE sizes smaller clothes... Write it all down for historical value. Just pour yourself out into that letter. Then put it in a safe place, and LEAVE IT THERE. Metaphorically, you've just "let it go", you've given it away. You've voiced your deepest thoughts and emotions, but you've LET GO of them. But...remember where you SAFELY stored it, then open it on your 1 year WLS anniversary...and I guarantee you'll be LAUGHING on that date! We psych ourselves RIGHT OUT OF THE JOY that we can have in life! (No pun intended there, Joy-ous C -- you're a keeper!). Don't let anyone or anything rob you of that!!
I'm gonna get off my soap box (sorry 'bout that...didn't mean to "go there"), but you guys just HAVE to quit letting all the gloom and doom get to you and start getting GIDDY HAPPY about what the end result IS going to be for us! (Not "may" be, but IS going to be!) Hey, we're living through the last few days of a LOUSY life-style...I'm laughing in the face of my pain and aching knowing it'll only be for a little while longer! Even my co-workers have noticed that although I still cringe when I try to stand up, my spirits are higher than they've been in months (which is TOTALLY getting on their nerves, they think I've 'lost it'...)...it's 'cuz I know it's only a bit more than 4 weeks from now that THESE DAYS OF PAIN WILL BE GONE FOREVER!!! For every minute you catch yourself pondering something negative about your WLS, MAKE yourself spend FIVE minutes on something that'll be GOOD about it. You are the only one who has control over your thoughts, and you CAN control them! So don't MAKE me come over there and SLAP some happy into you...
Kimmer 
MAN, MAN FREAKIN RULES Thank you all so much! Kim, your post are always so Motivational! I do believe that My surgeon performs a leak test the day after surgery and no fluids are allowed until you pass. I will double check on this when I go for my final consult on the 26th. I have calmed down quite a bit and have been thinking good thoughts all day. Just yesterday, you know, it just hit hard. I have 3 beautiful children and the absolute best husband and I can't imagine leaving them...So that really scared me. But like I said, I feel better now. I will go into the hospital for my surgery on Friday (march 12th) and come home on Monday and see my beautiful family waiting for me. I will make it through this and I will succeed! Joy, I did the pros and cons on paper and the pros out weighed the cons big time! Thanks Joy! What a beautiful "canary" you are! Again, thank you ALL for posting! I really appreciate it. Its all of you guys that keep me going everyday. Thanks so much for being so supportive!
Kelley
MARCH RULES 
I do believe that My surgeon performs a leak test the day after surgery and no fluids are allowed until you pass. I will double check on this when I go for my final consult on the 26th. I have calmed down quite a bit and have been thinking good thoughts all day. Just yesterday, you know, it just hit hard. I have 3 beautiful children and the absolute best husband and I can't imagine leaving them...So that really scared me. But like I said, I feel better now. I will go into the hospital for my surgery on Friday (march 12th) and come home on Monday and see my beautiful family waiting for me. I will make it through this and I will succeed! Joy, I did the pros and cons on paper and the pros out weighed the cons big time! Thanks Joy! What a beautiful "canary" you are! Again, thank you ALL for posting! I really appreciate it. Its all of you guys that keep me going everyday. Thanks so much for being so supportive!
Kelley
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