Where the heck are you guys?????

Hey Connie; I'm still here too!! I check in constantly, but haven't been taking the time to post. I'm finding that although I like my supervisor job, that the night shift is really wearing me down. I'm really dragging my ass through life these days. I loved working nights when I was in my 20's, but now that I'm on the downward slide from 50, it's not working well at all!! My older daughter is home from college for the summer and my younger daughter is about to graduate from high school and there seems to be a gazillion things to do each day. The end result is that the thing that takes the biggest hit is my sleep. When I do finally get to bed, either my mind is too amped up for sleep or someone in the area decides it's a good time to mow their lawn or one of the kids bounces a bowling ball down the stairs (figuratively speaking, of course)!! Even my "white noise machine" can't over-power some of that noise!!! I've totally given up coffee during the work week except for an occasional decaf so that I can at least pretend!! Last weekend, Amtrak decided to derail one of their trains on my territory and ripped up a bunch or our signal equpment along with a few hundred yards of track. Thankfully, nobody got hurt, but it made for a fairly rest-free weekend. Compared to some of the problems the other "Marchers" are dealing with, this is not a big deal, but it's hard to look at the positive side of things when you are sleep-deprived!! In an attempt to look at the positive side.......My health is pretty good when you discount the sleep deprivation. I'm still struggling with what I eat, but I'm not out of control. I put on about 12 pounds from my lowest weight, but then slammed on the brakes. I haven't gained any weight in a few months, but I haven't lost any either. I haven't been exercising every day, but I have been getting in a few days a week. I have a good job with reasonable pay and great benefits and very little chance of layoff. And to cap it off, because I'm on call 24/7, it comes with a company truck and gas card which is huge with gas prices over $3.00 per gallon!! I mention all of this so that you realize why it's worth my while to work nights. Also, there are several other supervisors who are due to retire in the next couple of years, so that I have a chance to get on a day job or at the very least, a 2nd shift ( 3p-11p) which would allow me to sleep nights. Another bit of good news, is that I'm on vacation next week, so I'll be able to live on a human schedule for a while!! Anyway, enough of my whining........I'm still here fighting my way along and counting on all of you good people to keep me somewhat sane (or at least what passes for sanity in Mikey-World)!! Keep a close watch on tha****er situation, Connie! I don't like what I'm hearing at all!! Be well, my friend!! Mike

Pam HERE. I share a computer with my son who worked 2nd shift that worked great cause when he was at work i was home from work and could play on his computer! now he is working different shifts mostly days so i've lost computer time. someday soon i'llhave money to get my very own computer! pammy update - same as the rest of the marchers with the weight gain. got 7 to 8 pounds now that i fight with. i'm back to weighing, measureing, and counting calories along with fats and proteins. i'm in line with what i should be but the weight is winning the visitation battle. its not going away. it doesn't make any sense at all. why doesn't it go? ok so the excersize needs to be updated. i NEED to excersize. I WANT to excersize. my boss wants me to work way to many hours and sense the job pays the bills i need to work those insane hours. i love my job. i alos like to sleep. i go to work an hour and a half early and leave an hour and a half lataer. the little dog needs to be walked. laundry needs to be done. cleaning needs to be done i've got such a list of needs and what do i do? come home eat supper walk the dog and go to sleep. i'm too old to have this stre4ssful higth powered job that i love. ut oh you guys are bearing the brunt of my complaints cause i can NOT afford a shrink! relationships. they suck. still reading???? ok you asked for it! can somebody tell me please how to end a relationship that isn't going anywhere that i know this but am having such a hard time ending???? he's a good man. he's not the man for me. i love him but obveriously not enough to overlook the issues and problems and thank god for that cause i do not want to marry anyone that would eventuALLY end in a divorce., my next marriage will be to the end. and truthfully the issues we hgave would end in divorece. if i feel this way now why can't i say to this good man. its over? argggggg another good man wants to date me, i am not attracted to him and have told him. but i enjoy his company. we go out to dinner and talk. its just want i need but its not fair to him. on to the next stuff! i have a gtood car. i might be moving to NH. my oldest son gets marrieed in less than 4 weeks my daughter just got engaged to a wonderful guy. they will be moving to NH my mother is doing wonderfully health wise. its sprihg time! i love springtime in CT. i'm planting flowers on the weekends and enjoying my little condo since i've ended the engagement to the4 wonderful man that i'mtryijg to do the complete break up with. th3ere is good in my life. i feel fantasticly wonderfully healthy. i can move! while i'm tired i can keep up with the very stressful job thyat i have a love/hate relationship with. my life changed over 2 years ago. in ways i never dreamed that it would. i thought wow i'd have the chance to lose weight and be healthy. with a nice change of wardrobe. who knew thyat the inside of my head would change so drastically? who knew i'd not only be stronger healthwise and phsyically but also emotionally? i knew i'd like it if i lost weight. i knew i'd feel better. but wow the head part is at least as good as the outside. no i'm not thinking i'm some hot momma. i'm 53 i have no dalutions (can't spell hope you guys can uhderstand) my head is on better because i feel and look normal. yes everyohe wants to be differenbt thanb the next person but not so different that you are ridiculed and made fun of. i blend. i love to blend. and make myself different in other ways. gee this ended up being a pammy blong! i love you guys, your cheaper than a shrink.

Thanks for bringing us all together. I'm sorry I haven't been around, but it is not as if your not in my thoughts. I don't know that I can post one bit of advise here that hasn't been offered, but I can only confirm that this surgery, and any revisionm do not stop food issues. We all have monsters to deal with under our beds. I'm thinking of you guys and hoping to have more time to check in later. Keep on fighting the good fight.