LONG-Very Sad Anniversary Today

Hey Fellow Marchers who choose to read this, Here I am at my one-year anniversary from Open RNY surgery. I had no idea that I would wake up feeling this way today. I looked through all the materials I got from Bariatric Treatment Center last night. They expect that I would have lost 70% of my excess weight by today. Guess what? I have not. I am 70 pounds short of being there. When I look at other 400+ post ops that I know and have seen on OH, all of them have lost much faster than me. I am feeling so much like a failure today. I have tried so hard to do well. I have been exercising, avoiding white carbs, drinking water, having lots of protein, getting support, etc. It is not easy. Sometimes I think it would have been so much easier to stay fat than come this far and not make it to my goal. I have heard about the 18-month window of opportunity to lose the excess weight. I see so many other people being successful. I want it too. I wonder if it is possible for me. I want it with all my heart and soul. I have my one-year post op visit at BTC tomorrow. I am disappointed and scared. My original surgeon, Dr Julie Leverton, is no longer there so I will have to see Dr Wiltse. Some people really like him. I just know that the last time I was at BTC Dr Thrift gave me a hard time about not losing more and being further along. I upped my protein and got serious with exercise. Still it is not enough. The pounds are not coming off. My measurements at Curves show that I have lost over 75 inches. I weighed 414 at surgery and weigh 278 now. It is progress but it is so far from where I need or want to be. I am so disappointed. I am afraid that I can't make it. Being fat was easier than struggling like this. Right now I feel like taking a break from OH and not coming here every day like I do. I feel like I have nothing to offer anyone else and that I am just reminded daily that I am not successful or where I need to be. It is not like me to be quite so chatty. I am an extremely private person and yet I feel compelled to write my feelings and thoughts today. Maybe being reflective is what happens when you reach a milestone like being a year post op. All I know to do is to keep doing what I have been doing and hope the results will come. Other folks say it will come in time. I am just so incredibly sad today that I am not having the results I want and that my goals seen unattainable. I did not expect to feel this way today. Ann in TX 423/414/278/140 March 7, 2003-BTC Dr Julie Leverton

Ann, Please pick your chin up. We share the same anniversary date and I have not reached my goal either but that is no reason to be sad. Look back a year ago and see if you like what you see better then or now? I definetly know for me now is better, much better. You have made a big accomplishment and that is something to be very proud of yourself for. If what you are doing you know is right then keep doing it and the weight will continue to come off. So what if it is slower than some. We all have a finish line. That does not mean that we will all finish at the same time. When you get there you too will be a "Winner" for being a "Loser". God Bless You and keep the faith. WE WILL GET THERE. Margaret Mitchell-Open RNY 389/284/220

Ann, I feel so bad that you feel this way. I think your weightloss is something to be so proud of. The health benefits alone from losing 135+ pounds is astounding. Sometimes I get discouraged reading how much better others are doing when my weightloss isn't as fast. All I do know is that I am so thankful for every pound I have lost. I have read people lose weight even at 2 years. Ann, we will make it. Maybe not as fast as others, but WE WILL get there. Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you.

Ann , I am sorry your feeling so down but look how far you have come. Keep up the good work and the weight will come off..

Ann - I'm so sorry that your weight loss isn't what you had hoped it would be. I think you've done terrific. Maybe at tomorrow's appt., they could suggest something that will kick it back into gear. I don't have any suggestions because it looks to me like you are doing all the right things. Happy Anniversary. Hugs. -- Wendy

Ann, You have so much to be thankful for. I wonder if you should just stick with cardio and do less muscle training. It could be that your muscles are developing just as fast as your losing which is showing a slower weightloss. But you body is burning everything... Are you eating enough? And what are you eating? I know you were working out at the gym are you still doing that? Curves is good, but the body is always in the need of doing more. You have to push yourself. You will make it. There is an african american woman I know who is 50 years old and she is 3 1/2 years out. She JUST hit her goal. And her bmi was around the high 40's. But she kept pushing herself. And increasing her cardio and she finally lost her weight. I am saying this because the window isn't 2 years, if you continue to use your tool, it will work for you for the rest of your life. Sometimes when the weight doesn't come off fast enough we think we are destined to be obese for the rest of our lives. And you know what that just isn't true. We CAN change our bodies. We now have the tool to do so. Keisha

ANN, Do you realize that you have lost 145lbs in ONE YEAR??????? This is a miracle and something that you should be thankful and shout about. I'm rejoicing with you because you have accomplished so much in so little time. If you want a sad story then you should put yourself in my shoes. I was recently thinking about a revision and I'm only 11 months post-op. I'm going to be one year post-op on 3/27 and have lost 78lbs and I was considered a "Heavy Weight" starting out at 341lbs but my highest weight ever was 353lbs. (I'm only 5'4 1/2") I do know how you may be feeling disappointed with not meeting your personal goal but don't get upset at not meeting your doctors. Though I feel at times that I'm the slowest loser ever to on had this surgery, yet I feel soooooo BLESSED that I survived it. There is no way that I would of lost 78lbs without a little help from this surgery. Ann both you and I and countless of others are very blessed to have made it out this far. 1. We have supportive family and friends 2. We were not on waiting lists for 1-2 yrs 3. Our insurance companies approved our surgeries 4. NO 4-5 denial letters 5. We had very competent surgeons 6. We made it through surgery ALIVE and WELL (Praise God) 7. and we lost some weight along the way (HOORAY!!!) Ann, I know that it's hard but please try not to compare yourself to others because God has created you uniquely from others. You and I are doing all the right things by exercising, drinking liquids, taking our vitamins and getting in our protein. We will make it to goal eventually. The Bible speaks about how the race is not given to the swift but in due season with time we will win our race to goal. I truly wish you the best with your journey. Lift up your head because you have NOTHING to be ashamed about!!!!!!! Many Blessings, Marilyn Lexington, KY 341/263/175 3/27/03 (-78lbs)

Hi Ann, I'm with all the others. Don't be ashamed. You made the decision to take control of your life and you are doing so. I find myself comparing my results to others, too, and I guess that's just natural. But you are doing great!! I hope the new doctor you are seeing will be more supportive. Nobody needs to see a doctor who won't recognize the effort you are putting into this. I had my first plateau beginning last month and am a little sad, but I know it will pass. I am just so grateful for this surgery giving me a new chance at life. I think if we stay on this board, 3 years from now, we will all be about the same place. If it takes me another year or 2, I don't care. I know I'll be better off than I was this time last year. So just hang in there. You know we are all there with you and feel your pain. You're in my prayers. Linda