RNY 3.13.03 - Small Victory update

Hi all - I posted this on the main messge board, but also wanted to post it here for all my fellow march siblings - lol. Hi Everyone - I'm trying to break my habit of only sharing when I'm discouraged - I envy those of you who just post whatever is going on with you every day - I so frequently feel like I either have nothing of interest to say or that my thoughts and progress are inconsequential. So, today is a day to break through that barrier and share small victories!!! Victory #1: The 5 week plateau that I was on finally broke almost two weeks ago and I'm now down 11 more pounds, for a total of -53 lbs since surgery and -71 lbs since last July! My 18/20's that I bought in May are getting way too big for me - I am even able to wear a pair of 16 jean shorts!!! I haven't worn a 16 in years. People in my office are noticing that I'm smaller too. Several people have come up to me and commented on my having lost more weight - they know about the surgery, so they've been on board with all the ups and downs and are very supportive. And best of all, I can see the loss - I've been blessed so far that my image of myself has been keeping up with the loss - I do see myself as smaller and thinner and that feels nice that my inner picture of me is keeping up with the outer changes. I small blessing I didn't expect. Big or small, I'll take my blessings from where ever I can get them. Victory #2: I joined the gym about a month and a half ago and started out swimming laps. Then, by monthly visitor arrived and I couldn't swim so I didn't go for nearly 3 weeks (no, my visitor didn't stay that long, just my motivation had not returned, lol). Anyway, yesterday I said to myself, "get thee to the gym and ride the bicycle!!!" So, I went and had the most amazing unexpected experience! In the past, 50-70 lbs heavier than I am now, riding the bicycle was torture. My stamina and endurance were nearly non-existent and I got to 20 minutes of cycling by shear will-power alone - certainly not from desire to cycle. You know, you do it because you should and not because you want to - you are miserable the entire time and are watching the clock, waiting for this "prison sentence" to end - that's how exercising has always felt to me - punishment, not freedom. Well, yesterday was soooooooo very different. I got on the bicycle and started cycling and the first thing I notice is that it felt too easy - that's new. So I go in and change the challenge level and add hills and resistance to the cycle program - now that's better. Second thing I noticed is that I was cycling at 79-89 RPMs. The last time I cycled I was lucky to break 70 RPMs and certainly couldn't sustain that for very long. The third thing I noticed was that I was actually enjoying myself - It didn't feel like punishment and I wasn'****ching the clock waiting for my time to be over. The fourth thing I noticed was that I wasn't feeling tired or like I was overdoing it. I wasn't panting or breathing too hard - I felt like I could keep going. The fifth thing I noticed was that I wanted to return and do it again. At the end of my 30 minute session, I had ridden 5.3 miles and felt great - my muscles felt warm but not tense - I got off the bike and was sweating and didn't mind it. My muscles didn't ache, my breath was easy and returned to resting very quickly and I felt so proud of myself. I was so excited that about this that I decided to go again today, and was so disappointed this morning when I remembered that I have an appointment directly after work and that I won't be able to get to the gym until tomorrow. In fact, I'm so excited about going tomorrow, that even though I have a date tomorrow after work, I am planning on getting up early in the morning and getting to the gym before work!!! I never dreamed that I would be one of the people to come on here and say I love exercising now. I just didn't think that would be possible for me - but here I am, I really loved exercising yesterday and want to do it more frequently. If someone knows what they did to the other Robin, would you please send word and tell me where I can find her, cause I own her a huge hug and lots of gratitude for having the courage to change her life and become open to a new way of living and being in this world. What an amazing journey she chose to undertake. What an amazing life to live. Victory #3: Can I tell you how sexy and sassy and attractive and desirable and sensual and hot I feel? I never in a million years imagined I could feel like such a knockout and so giddy with sensuality and femininity. I always saw myself as this fat, overweight, unattractive, masculine looking woman. Well, let me tell you - that image of myself has flown the coop and all I can say is HALLELUIA! Good riddance to that image - not only was it not true, but it was so sad and so defeating. It robbed me of hope, a sense of worthiness, and a feeling like I could meet someone who would love me. I've begun dating and I must tell you I know I'm a knockout and a great catch. And I love feeling this way - I walk with a sexy, confident, feminine sway and it feels so good - so right! I have been finding it quite difficult to eat real food and keep my carbs and fat percentages way down too. So, I've modified my eating plan, with the approval of my nutritionist, to include one meal, one or two small protein snacks and two to three protein shakes (Real Meals), keeping my calories right around 800-900 and my protein at about 60%. That seems to be working for me. I can't seem to get my protein higher than 60%, even though I eat lean meats. Go figure - but I'm doing awesome!! More than awesome - I'm so grateful and feel so blessed and loved. Well, I'm sure there are blessings that I'm not even aware of yet - but that's enough for now. Many blessings to everyone, my prayers go with all of you on this journey and may you always feel the blessing of this new life, even when you are down or feeling discouraged. God bless you all. Toodles, Robin