Wondering

I have noticed a lot lately that many of us have had some issues about the change in our bodies. How we look at ourselves and what we are working towards. Self sabotage is in some blogs and I have noticed I am not the only one who worries about the final outcome. Many changes have taken us to where we are now and many of us have had the opportunity to regain our health our lives and also happiness that we have not had before. I find that changes do take a minute to recognize and allow us to believe. It takes me to go back and look at my month to month photos to actually believe I have lost any weight. At times I still see myself as the Fat Obese Woman that I was pre-op. At times I can see myself as I am now. My fiance' tells me I need to get clothes that fit me because the crotch is hanging down to my knees. I did clean out my closet and I have given away four bags of clothes. I at times feel like getting thinner can or may bring me problems. But at other times I feel like I was looking to get healthy and I allow the changes. This at times messes with my head and I am sure I am not the only one that feels the way I do.
How have your changes allowed you to overcome any obstacles and what is it that you may still be working on to achieve your goal? I look forward to hearing from you all and to see what you overcame and what you still need to adjust to.

FluffyNCute.....

Cathy

I had no unique obstacles that wl could overcome.  Like most of us, changing habits such as eating for reasons other than hunger and sustenance requires vigilence.  That's it as far as obstacles go for me.   

Its hard not to get discouraged when my results are slower than for others and I am still fightjng weight gain.  I also thought my blood pressure would have stabalize. 

Right now I'm frustrated.  Not self defeating, but just frustrated on multiple levels.  I have body issues.  I wear sizes 6/8 & the occaisional 10, but It all seems fake.  When last I weighed in the 150's I wore 11/12, & 13/14 so the vanity sizing thows me off. 

I'm so tired of dieting for active weight loss.  I don't mean this new way of life, I mean being weight loss focused all the time.  I just want to get there and maintain already.     Each lb is such a struggle.  For me eating too little is nearly as bad as eating too much when it comes to screwing my wl.  I would love some consistency. 

Compliance does not necessarily equal results for me.  So I work my self made program, by me for me and my personal metabolism.  Ironically, I like my surgeons plan and its easier too. 

I'm frustrated with the process but its not really a hurdle.  The only thing I have to do to get to my goal is to loose this last 18 lbs asap.  Reaching goal will relieve this frustration.   

You sound like your doing absolutely great to be honest with you. Some of us wish we only had 18 more pounds to go. I am still in a size 16 pant wish I could already be at a 9/10 or 11/12. I keep focused though because everyone loses differently. I am staying focused on myself but when I read all these post or blogs I definitely see I am not the only one going through the same issues. Which to me it makes me feel I am not alone.

I have tons of issues... For example with the clothes like you stated. Most of my close are way to big, they make me look like i crapped my pants according to my loved ones. Why havent I let them go and get some new ones. Perhaps its denial. I still see my self as the morbidly obese person I was months ago. I do not see my weight loss, however i have people telling me all the time i am doing amazing. Its just not sinking into my brain. sadly i believe i will always veiw myself as there person i was. I simply just dont see it. I do see the weight loss when i look at my before and current pictures. I am amazed how much i have changed in those pictures, and only then do i realize whats changed. but looking in the mirror its different. i just went shopping and got some new clothes, yet i havent gone through the old stuff, perhaps today. My confidence is still very low, and I havent yet posted a full body shot for example on my facebook and if i did i am hideing behind my children. I believe i personal need to come back to reality and realize that i am changed, build my confidence and self esteem. This is a big issue for me

I am right there with you on all of that. I have to look at my pictures as well and thats the only time I actually see the changes. I deal with looking in the mirror and seeing my old self as well. I keep some bigger clothes because they are comfortable but I get told they are to big to be on my body. I still feel morbidly obese and I still feel I have many more issues to deal with as I am making these changes as time goes on. I find myself still going to the 1x 2 x isles and I at times buy stuff that I know will be big on me because I am having a hard time getting my actual sizes because I have no clue what I am seriously in. I just get the quickest thing I can and I get out the store. I know I have many more issues to deal with and as time goes on I know I may be able to see me for me. But right now with the weight I still have on me I feel I am just as big as before. I know I have body issues and I know I need to deal with them.

(let me say sorry for the longgggggg rant for starters.... but just wanted to update my feb peeps..)you are all doing amazing an are so inspiring btw... keep up the great progress.... 

 i have a ton of issues... an on top of those.. i'll be 9 months post op this 23rd... even tho i have lost 167 lbs all together including pre-op loss...give or take a few depending on day... im avoiding scale atm......one of my issues...  im still (morbidly obese) im no longer super morbidly obese but im still that uber fat lady....... sighs... im just now able to wear... REAL size 26 jeans.. not stretchy elastic waist or jeans from lane bryant etc... but honest to goodness jeans... i see the difference in photos but its like lookin at a stranger an not me.. cuz when i look down or in mirror so not me...i still see me as i was 453 lbs... im off all pre-op meds except OTC's.. multi vitamins, calcium, sub. b-12.. started seeing psych recently.. was refered by my PCP  because of my depressive mental state.. an come to find out i was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) from my abusive childhood... she started me on some celexa for the depression, an said something bout in a few weeks giving me something(abilify??) for my extreme anxiety... also for past couple months i have been having low blood pressure issues... (hypotension) blood pressure just bottoming out so i been going for all kinds of test for that... could be a glandular problem... i was told.. something to do with my petutarty gland not working the way its supposed to... not sure yet but they have been checking everything inside an out... not been fun.. just when i started losing weight an getting into a normal excercise routine.. i started having black outs an was told to cease excercise till we find out the cause.. (fall risk) they dont want me blacking out, falling an hurting myself majorly.. i've been told to add more salt an increase fluids 84+ oz a day to increase my blood pressure..so i have been retaining water... for the past few weeks..sighs... plus increase my daily protein to at least 75g.... but been less dizzy/fainty.. so its a toss up i guess.. also i found out...... i dont dump as easily as i did in begining...  i ate some halloween candy (a few mini candy bars here an there) with no ill effect at all....... i so wi**** had made me horribly sick......  cuz now i so have to argue with myself not to eat them..(hubby bought a ton of after halloween candy on sale.. hes 180lbs... an can eat anything...)  so now with me its not a can't its a shouldn't... ya know?  i finally got the depo shot (birthcontrol)....... an was warned it could increase hunger but i wasnt wanting to eat at all so i thought oh ok.. it wont be bad it will help me get in my calories..  well hunger is back with a vengence an wants only unhealthy crap... (thats why an how the candy came in to play.. im sure..) sighs... fighting urges an cravings daily... and all i wana do is sleep... eat ...sleep... eat.. sleep... the past few weeks since i been on the depression med... but in a way thats good cuz i wasnt sleeping at all before so maybe my body is just balancing out an catchin up i dont know.. ok i think im done............ if i think of anything else i will come rant somemore..

I hope they find the underlying issues for you sincerely. If your having water retention go to your pcp and let him/her know whats going on they may be able to give you a water pill. I take hydrochlorothiazide on a daily. You have done great yourself and I understand where you are coming from about seeing yourself for who you are now. I deal with it on a daily basis. I am trying to find someone to speak with cause I am dealing with body issues myself.As far as the candy go get yourself some yoplait light yogurt. They have so many flavors and it seriously takes away the sweat tooth craving. I know its hard because I went through a situation where I wanted subs and pizza and junk food as well. I am trying to stay positive and get to where I need to be. I haven't even reached the surgeons goal yet and I thought I would by now. Just noticing people lose there weight at a different rate than others. All I know is I have slowed down tremendously and I don't like it.Keep strong and understand we all did this to get healthy. I am here if you need to chat or just vent. We all need someone who understands what we are all going through. Try to have a good day today and I wish you all the best