When/If to tell family

I only told my three grown daughter and DH.  Than after reading these boards, I asked all three not to tell for all the reasons stated.  Just to be told THEY had already told a "few" people.  I just don't want it to get to my family as I don't want to deal with the  and

at first I was excited and told a few people.. just people i deal with regularly (they were all thrilled, several even asked me to keep them posted as they were interested in getting it) ... i only told them to avoid difficult moments like why i am not eating a certain food or what all the change is about.. i told my dh and my mother (wish I hadn't really, though she's supportive - rny in 2003)... but other than that, I did not tell my family or many friends.. I just kept it to myself. I'm sure that's pretty much the consensus.. most people don't want the gossip.

I need to tell my boss since I'm going to be out of work for a couple of weeks.  Still trying to figure out what to say.  I definitely don't want anyone else at work to know.  I will tell them in good time (If I feel like it).

I had only told my husband obviously, a good friend at work and one of our close couples we know.  That was all I had planned on.  I was dreading telling my boss at work.  I put in for my time off and she didn't even ask what I was having done...whew!  Until 3 days later...ha ha...so I told her.  She was very supportive and asked if that was all the time I needed off.  My girls, ages 5 & 7, we told I was going in the hospital to make mommy healthier.  They were fine with that. 

As for my family...well, I was always the "fat daughter".  I grew up with thinking baby fat would go away when I hit puberty...then I would hear comments from my mom and dad constantly...I don't think they knew what they were doing, but I refuse for anyone in my house to talk about my children and their "baby fat".  They are healthy and eat right and are very active....I don't want my girls to have the complex I have dealt with my whole life.

I ended up having to tell my sister because every once in a while my sister and  I will meet for lunch.  So I tried to set up a date and she kept saying...oh maybe next week or next month.  I got a little frustrated and finally fessed up and said I won't be able to because I was having the surgery in a week.  She was excited and I knew she never would have said anything bad, but she would want my parents to know.  Thank goodness she actually understood where I was coming from in not wanting them to know.  She thought I would tell my mom since my mom had the surgery 2 years ago...but that is exactly why I am not telling my mother.  Everything with my mom has always been compared to her experience...childbirth, surgeries, sickness...she will actually ask what my Thyroid level is to compare to hers?!?!  Who cares!  Ha ha!  But thats just how she is and why I don't want her to know.  My sister saw where I was coming from too.

My husband ended up telling everyone at his work...OMG!  He says he is proud of me and isn't ashamed...that he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful anyways...Awwww, very sweet.  But thank goodness they all live across the country!  Seriously, they've all been supportive and have been asking him how I've been.  He also told his mom the day of surgery..she lives in Florida and was very supportive and couldn't believe we didn't tell her sooner.  She's a wonderful person but sometimes says things without thinking...which is why I would have rather not told her...

Now....my father....sigh....I wasn't planning on him knowing because well, he is rather insensitive.  He makes rude remarks about obese people....I remember once he made a comment about a woman walking once that was really rude....and I replied back that "wow dad, she is smaller that me!"  His response, "Well, you have medical problems..."  OMG!!  I replied back, "well, she could have more medical problems....don't you see how rude you are?  You don't know what peoples lives are like and you should never judge anyone!"  He slowly has seen how he is...but since he is in Florida until April he didn't need to know....Well....The night of my surgery he called the house and talked to my 5 year old.  They had a long conversation and at the end he asked to talk to me...She replied, mommy isn't home.  He asked where I was and she told him was in the hospital...he was freaked out and asked why...she told him it was no big deal, I was just in to get healthy.....

Husbands!!  I warned my husband on many occasions that I would kill him if he breathed a word of it at work.  There are a ton of gossups there.  But I think he would have told people if I had not warned him, he is proud of me too.  :)