I must confess...I'm taking my shame public

I'm embarrased and ashamed. I had planned to keep this one to myself.  Then I read a post about blowing the pre op diet. 

I ate ssshhhhhhh  potato chips.  In the abridged version of my tale, I stepped off a plane, into Walmart, and bought the big bag on sale.  Then I got in the car and opened them, and un-did my pre op diet as I drove home. 

This act of self desruction was not brought on by any emotional trauma or trigger event.  I was not overwhelmingly hungry either.  This was simply an I eat because I eat situation, not unlike past situations that helped get me here. 

This is a screw up of major proportion because it speaks to how easy it is to be one's own worst enemy.  Of course I know only I suffer because of this.  That's like knowing if I set myself on fire I'm the one that burns.  Still, I did it anyway. 

Like some one drinking alone in the dark at night, no one else may know or care come morning unless I come clean.   So here it is, a full confession.  I won't pretend unselfish benevolence and the hope of helping others motivates me to fess up.  There is no vanity that I am somehow so unique in my screw up that everyone would find this interesting.   I am putting it out there and letting it go. 

I am not sad or angry but I am warned. See how easy it is, despite your best intentions, to make a clusterf&%k of your situation with very little effort. 

If you're wondering what happened to the rest of the bag...  When I pulled into the gararge I crushed it and struffed the junk mail I took from my mailbox in the bag with the crumbs. 

Fortunately I did not eat much of the contents of that big bag.  Unfortunately, I let even a morsle pass my lips. 

 

Nuff said.  I'm back on track!

 

You have a good attitude about getting back on the horse!  Keep going keep going keep going.  We can do this!

seriously this liquid diet stuff is soooooo hard and I have posted about it before...I'm sure you read the "are you sure your ready " bit and the "your only hurting yourself" line, but those things are very true and no one knows it better than us who have cheated!!!! yes we have food adictions and yes we need help and yes this will be a test of things to come but these are baby steps that we take and we need to deal with things better...however.. move on!!! tomorrow is a new day and let it go...thanks for posting because it lets me know that there are others out there who make mistakes...keep focused and it will all come together!!!

 I crashed and burned too.  I'm on liquids totally for the next two days ...my surgery is the fourth!

I think someone would be lieing if they said they did the 2 week liquid diet and never cheated. That is why we are here. We have addictions to food. I need the tool. I need help to stop the addiction to food. This first part is the hardest. Big stomach, big appitite, excess gherlin production. It is all stacked against us. But if we succeed. We can fix all of the above issues that hinder us from achieving the healthy lifestyle we want and deserve. You can do it. Just start new now!

after reading this, i feel better. i did have 1 piece of pizza on superbowl sunday, i mean comeon, but i got so full after one slice, that i felt that it was a goodbye to my old life. yes i guess im addicted to food, why else would i be getting the surgery? my surgery is tomorrow, and i have been all liquid for the last 2 days. i guess i was so scared about going to my surgery and them KNOWING that i ate real food and then turning me away for the surgery. i have done the boxed liquid stuff that i got from bettermd.net, and today is all this thick pink stuff that taste like bubble gum, it must be cleaning me out.
i am so nervous about tomorrow but i am keeping my head and chin up, knowing that after tomorrow my life will be changed for the better.
good luck everyone.