A lil' holiday cheer

 
Twas The Night Before Surgery

'Twas the night before surgery, when all through my gut not a morsel was stirring,   not even a nut."
The suitcase was packed by the back door with care, in hopes that a new me   would soon return there.
I lay nestled, snug in my bed while visions of calories   danced in my head;
And me in my plus size pajamas and wrap, had just settled in   for a long restless nap.
When deep in my mind there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my dreams   to see what was the matter.
Away to my fridge I flew like a flash, ripped open the door and drooled at the stash.
The moonlight reflecting off the beautiful snacks gave a luster of radiance   to all on the racks.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but an array of the comfort foods   I hold so dear.
With a familiar feeling of all those I'd pick, I thought in a moment   I just might be sick.
More lovely than angels their voices they came, and they whistled and shouted and called me by name;
"Now pizza, now french fries, now chocolate galore on cheescake, on ice cream,   on donuts and more!"
From the tip of my tongue, to the bottom of my toe, I will miss you all more   than ever you'll know.
As an addict that shakes and stirs as he sits, I'll mourn the loss   of my delectable hits.
So back to my bed I went with great haste, and settled back down   with nary a taste.
And then in an instant, in pre-op I sat, nervously waiting   to no longer be fat.
As I sat deep in thought and adjusted my gown, came my surgeon   in one single bound.
He was dressed all in scrubs, from his head to his feet he seemed very calm   as he eyed me like meat.
He looked at my chart, with his scope gave a listen; I don't think he noticed   my eyes start to glisten.
He was chubby and plump he could lose some himself, and I laughed when I saw him   in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know   I had nothing to dread.
He spoke barely a word as he prepped for his work, he paused for a moment,   then turned with a jerk.
And laying a finger aside of his face, giving a nod,   out of the room he did race.
He checked in the next day, to his students gave a whistle, and away they all flew   like a down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim as he walked out of sight, "speedy thinness to you   and a healthier life!"
Author Unknown

I like this one..... I saw it over on the Ontario board last night and I copyied it and put it on my blog! I wonder who originally wrote it?