NERVOUS & SCARED ABOUT SURGERY

My surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday 2/13. I have started feeling nervous and a bit scared. No that does not change my decision and I will not cancel my surgery. But I feel like I put off doing things until now, the last possible week I could take care of business....and that business is making out a will and appointing a legal guardian for my daughter if I don't make it through surgery. i don't know what would be legal, and I am scared to death my daughter's father, if something happens to me next week, that he will try to fight for custody when he does not have joint custody now and hasn't seen our daughter in 10 yrs 6 months, and she's only 11 yr 6 months now. He abandoned her in 1998. He left the state, never told me, he just took off. i know the rate of fatality is very slim, but I need to be prepared but I feel like I have waited way too long to do something about this legally. I wanted everything prepared ahead of time. But I won't be able to get all this done legally. Has anyone else felt scared or nervous right before surgery? I am pretty sure things will be ok but with that small change, I am scared that my daughter will wind up in the guardianship of a man who she doesn't know her who she is afraid of, and who she doesn't have any desire to see or speak with. I am so angry with myself for not taking care of this before now. I need help. I already have a family member who I asked to be my daughter's guardian if something should happen to me. But I warned them about her father's sneaky selfish ways and warned them he may try to gain custody because of the financial gain in it for himself. I have life insurance, pension death benefit, private (extra) db life insurance, and of course my daughter would receive monthly social security checks if I pass away. I am really scared about this. I don't know where to go or who to talk to about this. I do know a couple lawyers and hope to talk to them tomorrow to get advice and last minute suggestions on how to prepare in writing NOW even though there is only 1 week til surgery. Sad and worried in Albany, NY Doirinne (healthygirl2b)

Hello, my surgery is day after tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous but not really scared. I made a living will and Medical power of attorney myself -- sounds like we are just being prepared for our families sakes -- it's not morbid to be prepared. BEST OF LUCK with your surgery!!

Did you have this paper notarized or was it done by a lawyer? Signed by witnesses? I have heard a million things from million different sources. I am hoping to get something formalized before surgery by one of 2 lawyers I know personally. Just alot to dump on an attorney last minute, doesn't give much time to prepare. But as long as it's done, I will feel sooo much better, relieved that my daughter will be taken care of by people who love her; and someone responsible who will look out for her best interest with regard to her social security benefits, if the need arises....... Good luck on your surgery. All the best to you. thanks for the reply

Hi Doirinne I did the same thing making sure that my life insurance was intact and I had the person being my son who it would go to. Also talking with all my family letting them know of my wishes if the worst happens. My son and his daughter mean the world to me. And I just want to be sure that they are taken care of. My surgery is Thursday really early in the morning so it is as if I have just one more day. My prayers will be with you and your daughter and just know that everything will be ok. Rose P.S Dont be sad but I know I cant say anything to make you not to worry.. Just pray my dear it does seem to soothe away alot of the worries it has for me. email me back if you need to talk I should be home by Saturday [email protected] Rose

Healthygirl2b, I will be praying for you, for your plans to succeed, and especially for your surgery. My surgery is scheduled for Monday, February 18. I am a little anxious as well. I just heard about this website (wish I had heard sooner). I haev been so busy researching everything about my gastric bypass that I didn't even think about a medical power of attorney or a living will and now I feel a bit of panic and can't wait til morning to call someone. From what I understand it is only natural to feel a bit nervous and scared. I have 3 friends who had the lap band surgery in the last year and they all came through with flyng colors. Your daughter is so fortunate to have a mother who cares about her the way you do. Take Care, Carla (onajourney46)

It will be fine! Take a deep breath and think how happy you will be when its done. I had surgery Jan 15th never had surgery before, except c- sections with my kids...I did this to stay around for my kids...4 and 2 cant wait to hear how it went .. Good Luck!!!

Hi I am Betty aand I will be having my surgery on Fe. 18 and yes I am scared to but I know in my heart that I will be ok. I trust God and I will have folks praying for me that morning also. I will pray for you also. There are more follks dying with cancer and heart attacks then by-pass surgery. Tell your self that everything is going to be all right and put your trust in the Lord. My daughter had hers done in April of 2005 and she did great. She had 3 little girls and she was scared to. Remember there are folks out there to help and pray for you. God Bless, Betty

Hello, I am nervous also. I am a single mother, and have been thinking I need to make my wishes known to my family. I know in my hear tthat god will be with me, and everythnig will be alright, but I have to have things in order. I am doing this for my child to be here for him. I have diabetes, sleep apnea, reflux, high blood pressure, and know that this will save my life. It's still scary. My surgery is scheduled for 2/11/08. Please pray fro my surgery to be a success, and complication free. I will be praying for you

I understand where your coming from, I have a 2 yr old that her mother doesn't want but use her to get a paycheck. We have joint custody but I have her 5 days a week and every other weekend and I am the one paying child support. But not to harp on that I was just asking if you had gotten a chance to take care of everything that you mentioned.