I think you look beautifully happy and definitely a lot thinner than the before pic in the hospital gown. xosm

Loretta 2/17/06 Deanna F. 2/17/06 xosm

I think you look great! I would check you out if I was a guy. I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. I still see the old me most of the time when I look in the mirror. People in my support group that are pre-op or newly post op just don't understand when I tell them that I still look fat to me. When I see a picture of myself or look in the mirror, my eyes are drawn to my fat tummy. People go ... what the heck are you talking about? You don't have a fat tummy. And, I don't have one ... unless you see me naked. My mind still thinks about how I look naked and I think I'm fat. My daughter keeps telling me "Mom, you ain't no where near fat any more". It wasn't until I posted the newest monthly pictures of myself that I actually noticed that I'm thin. OMG! I'm actually thin for the first time in my adult life. And, would you believe it ... I HAVE A NECK!!!! The good news I've heard from support group is that eventually our minds do catch up with our bodies. I've heard your brain starts realizing after a year and will catch up completely by 2 years. Let's hope that's correct.

I am really getting so curious as to what Do I look like? I mean I have onlly lost 100 pds and I know I am not a hottie at my age by no means and it seems as if everytime I take a picture I dont look as good as I think I do. Does that make since. I mean I think sometimes I have to be looking good and then when I look at a new pic I dont think I look as good as I feel I should. I dont mean just with the weight loss, my hair is always a mess, and clothes dont look good. Which I know will change when I allow myself to buy some new clothes at goal. But that is okay, I am happy with me. I just am having such a hard time figuring this out. I mean when I look at other Before and after pics I think wow!!! But when I look at me. I dont see the Wow!! I guess if I could get my before and current pic side by side it would help but I am not that good with photo software. Anyway the other thing is that I have noticed men looking at me, I mean you ladies know that look. And even caught my husband checking me out the other day which is something I have never noticed. And I wa**** on by a man. (other than my husband) which I politely declined. But it still has me wondering!!! I put a new pic on my profile so everyone can look. I hope this is not too confusing to everyone. Am I the only one going through the mind thing. I dont know what you call it.

On July 21st 2006 My balloon was popped. I have been deflating ever since. I started at 219 5 ft 4" BMI of 39/40. My doctor did 2 surgeries at once. The RYN as well he said he was going to put a ring on me as well (which I was very confused about) The reason he said he does this (to all of his patients) is to make sure they never gain the weight back. Before I go on, I should mention my ins covered 100% During the consultation, the doctor said he knows everything was covered "however they do not cover the ring, So that will have to be paid for before surgery. ($250.00) I called my ins company asking why they did not cover. They said this procedure has not been done anymore and they wanted more info. I did not think much of it at the time. I was anxious to get on with my surgery date. When I went in for surgery, I tried to tell the doctor apologeticaly that I forgot my check book at home and would pay during my 1st follow up. He looked very embarressed and hushed me up. when a week later I went for the visit, I brought the check book. I tried to pay him and he said he could not take a check ha said cash only. I said I would send a money order in the mail so he did not have to wait any longer. He said to either drive cash in or mail it. I have to tell you I felt something fishy going on. Oh also before going on. this doctor never saw me in the hospiyal (after surgey...in fact I was sent home with extremely low oxygen...thinking it was just after surgery, I thought my being sick and weeker each day was normal. I was admitted back into my local hospital with nomonia (bad speller). I tried calling to doctor after my release to tell him everything. He never returned my calls. Now I am almost 7 months out and I am 1.5 lbs from a normal BMI Currently I am 146.5 (My doctor never gave me a goal...So I do not know what it should be) My goal is 117 because after looking at the BMI chart (unhealthy starts at 116). I know from reading these boards that most patients gain about 10lbs so i thought 117 (plus 10 more) would be ok. I can only drink approx 16-21oz in a day. I take 2 flinstone vitamins daily. along with natural stool sofeners and natural laxative daily. I take a vitaminB-12 daily as well. I do not consume much protein in a day. I eat 2-4 tiny meals (each meal is a few bites) in day. I am always tired! no energy. I know i need to see anothe doctor. However the doctor i was seeing is the only doctor in my plan for my type of ins. I could use some advise, as well if others could let me know what kind of test they get from their follow-ups, I can ask my primary doctor to do the same tests on me. Thank You reading and for the advice sorry for any spelling errors. I was quick to get this done before my children needed me again.