icky update

To make a long long story really short [long version on my profile, link to MySpace for the long long story] ... I had lap to open, the open incision opened up at a couple of weeks out, I have had nursing care for about 2 weeks and over the weekend things started to change ... strange drainage, tho' no fever, then a little bit of pain, then a lot. Still not sure about the fever, and the nurses that saw me over the last few days haven't been helpful so I called the office myself and will be seeing another surgical associate over there tomorrow [the bariatric guys are only in Mondays and Fridays]. I was gonna be short, right? I'm scared. I'm afraid of yet another complication, infection, hospitalization, death. I'm overreacting, yeah, I tend to do that, but it is what it is. I'm wondering if all this hard stuff and repercussions was worth 25 pounds? I don't think so right now. And I'm angry that my the friends I thought I had sort of ditched me when their easygoing lap paths went, well, the way they were supposed to go. Short, I said, SHORT. Just saying I won't likely be doing any more adds to the stats list for a day or so, I have to do them from DH's computer and he'll be home working on his web site. Plus, well, I don't know what's going to happen yet with the appointment and all. Can't do anything about it now though, so I though I'd type a SHORT [LOL] note saying I'm going MIA for a while, but hey, I promise if I survive I'll be back to do any adds and talk about the next weigh in and crap like that. xosm

Grouchetta, I am so sorry to hear about the problems you are having. Im sure that I would feel the same feelings of regret. Given the problems you are having, it is completely understandable to feel the way that you do. My wish for you is that a year from now when you are down a significant amount of weight and these hard times are behind you that you can look back and see this as a bump in the road in your journey and your feelings of regret will be lessened. Please know that we are all here to support you and listen. I will be thinking about you and hope you start feeling better soon. NJ Tammy

Hey GG, it's sad to hear you are having this problem now. I will be crossing my eyes that's it's not an infection. I agree with Tammy this is just a little bump in your journey and hopefully a year from now when you have reached goal you will look back at it and see as that. Hang in there, and don'tcha worry about that stats list, you've done an awesome job doing that for us. Please keep us updated and let me know when to stop crossing my eyes ( just trying to cheer you up ). Elisa

i actually read your my space blog then noticed this on here. I KNOW your scared!! Please try to relax and do no think of all the bad stuff. (i am bipolar and we call this snowballing where you think of all the bad things to make you wig out even more than you should) Listen to some music you like and try jut try to relax. If it was really really really bad they would of sent you to the hospital. please keep us all up to date. ((((((((((gg))))))))))) a hug from me to you J

Thanks to all for your wishes, and Elisa for the laugh about crossing your eyes. Unfortunately, I don't know if you can uncross them or not! [well, go ahead and uncross them to read this, but if ya have some kinda freaky crossing eye kavorka, I still need it sent this way;)]. The doc today, one whom I've never met before, said what the rest of us were saying, that the wound doesn't LOOK infected. I still have major pain. When I asked him why, he said, "I don't know." Great, huh? I will need to see my regular surgeon on Monday, and of course, the nurse comes daily to keep an eye on it, and he gave me some pain meds and sent me on my way. He said if the pain does not get better [or if an infection doesn't magically reveal itself with fever or other signs] that I might need further testing including x-rays. I am eating and moving my bowels, etc. fine, so the pouch is 'probably' not the issue. The only possible case scenario he would give me is that maybe I have a tiny hernia [although he could not feel one - I can't really give a good cough though, cause it hurts too much, just like after surgery it hurts to cough, laugh, blow my nose, or try and use my stomach muscles in any way] ... in that case it is NOT something that will go away and is pain I will have to deal with until which time I have it fixed. Sooo, yeah, I basically know nothing more today than I did yesterday. Whatever complication I have now remains a mystery. I got the jolly news from my surgeon's assistant not to worry, "healing takes time". That's all I can say right now, unless I start with the negativity. Thanks again for being supportive! xosm

GG I am hoping that you are feeling better today. It really sucks when we go thru all this effort and things just aren't right and we can't seem to get answers. My thoughts are with you... Have a great day !

hey girl, I hope you are ok! Maybe you have a seroma? sp. That is what Carnie Wilson had. A small infection in the incision. They would need to drain for a week. You are strong and motivated. Minor setback. Be positive and you'll heal faster. Think about getting back to your liitle girl. Best wishes. Hugs and Kisses, Sandy

I tried to look up seroma, as I had never heard of it, I can't find any mention of if it would be painful or not, but I will ask the doc about it, and a possible abscess in the higher, closed part of my incision on Monday. The pain meds seem to make it deal-able, but all I do is sleep, which has made it really, really hard to hit protein/fluid targets and I'm sitting here now trying to gulp down some more nasty shakes. SIGH. I hope this is just a minor setback, it just feels like I went in reverse, really FAST. My sister is getting married on the 21st and I just don't want to be feeling so sickly. OK, done with the woe-is-me. Thanks for the suggestion and good wishes! xosm