Troubled about FOOD

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH!!! I'm in the same boat as you... Here goes for me so far today: 6:30am: Dannon Light and Fit yogurt with some sesame sticks 7:00am: Tall Starbucks Nonfat Decaf Iced Mocha with a scoop of protein powder 9:30am: Jerky 10:30am: Nothing yet but I feel like I want to eat something. Snacking... It's a bad thing!!! Lunchtime: Prolly a Lean Cuisine (a whole one!!) Afternoon snack: String Cheese and some fruit Dinner: Is my problem... Can't stop eating carbs and bad stuff and regular ice cream (just a tiny scoop on a tiny cone but i imagine it's adding up) Come on Elisa... We need to get back in the swing of things. It's do or die now... The end of our "honeymoon" period is fast approaching. If this is the honeymoon, i'm fearing what the rest of the marriage is gonna be like...

We're still in the honeymoon period? I thought that was only the first 6 months. Sarah, I think your eating isn't bad at all. I was eating like that 4-5 months ago and I thought it was pretty healthy. Noooowwww....I eat a little too much junk. I think it has a lot to do with that certain time of the month. Because when I posted this I was about to start and thats when I crave the junk and I give in to it. Does that also happen to you? But I agree with ya, we do need to get into the swing of things. Elisa

My goodness, I am eating so much more and worse than all of you. I am really, really lucky that I have not gained, but I certainly will if I don't stop. I eat candy and sweets, I graze on chips and cheeze-its. I don't eat HALF of anything, I can eat a whole sandwich, etc. I'm super swollen post-op. I even gained an inch on my thighs since the day before surgery - so luckily [again] it is swelling. But my body is still THICK, just less skin. I mean, I think I still look like a plus size girl, just without the panni and boobs. I'm grateful to have that gone, but I'm sad that I don't FEEL thinner. Anyway since the surgery was pretty brutal, I don't want to ruin it by any kind of GAIN. I plan to make every effort to be THIN. Food. Yeah, I know what the right things to do are, same as always, right? LOL. Eat less bad carbs, more lean protein and fiber. I DO still use my protein shakes for supplements, they work for me, and right now I need the extra for healing. This week I am going to carefully review the post that Marie linked to from my very successful 'old timer' friend. I feel like I know the right things to do about food though, I just have to set my mind to DO IT. EXERCISE is a big missing component for me right now. Before surgery I was counting my steps at work and thinking it was "enough" but it WASN'T. Now, [I love you Terri, this is NOT a shot], I don't think I will ever have the #1 body builder, struggling not to lose more weight lifestyle that Terri has, I envy her because it seems like the exercise has definitely filled up the blank spot in her life that food left, but I don't think I personally will ever have the time or the gumption to be that kind of person. I do hope to be the kind of person who is active and likes to be. I do want to be the kind of person who DOES exercise REGULARLY because it's healthy and all that. I DO like the way I felt when I was doing the treadmill regularly, I'm not really sure WHY I stopped, then, KWIM? I want to find a way to stick to it, SOMETHING, and just have it be a regular part of my life like eating well should be. I look forward to feeling better [I'm only a little over a week post op right now and tired like a dead horse] to actually DO stuff. I want to stop talking about doing it and DO IT. Terri, do you have advice on how you got to the point where you started to love what you do [exercise wise?]. I really hope I can find that with a less floppy body, I might want to exercise above and beyond just for practical reasons. I don't know if I am making sense, but right now I think this will be part of the key to get me the figure I want and keep it. The other thing for me is just to keep up with regular therapy. I'm learning so much about why I eat, and do other destructive things. I am learning so much about myself, I just hope I can figure out more stuff before I make too many mistakes. Well, Elisa, I hijacked your thread, I'm sorry! My answer to you about eating is sort of simple, I think you do KNOW what the RIGHT things to do are. None of us are perfect all of the time, but it sounds to me like you are doing OK. I guess I think you just have to figure out what it is that's making you think there is something WRONG with you or what leads to making wrong choices. For me I see boredom as a big reason for my grazing. I also see my fear and anxiety, and reaching for bad choice food is just what I've always done, even a year of working on good habits hasn't made much of a change in that - it's still often almost automatic. The difference is now I am at least aware of doing it, and I know some things that work well for me to stop doing it. I am joining a group challenge on another site that gives me points for doing the right things - it gives me a daily way to be accountable and also to think about my choices in regards to not letting my team down. I dunno, as long as we keep trying, I think we are ahead of the game. And, really, I think you're doing great Elisa.

GG, Didn't take it as a shot. (hugs) Exercise has filled the void left by food and then let me find food again. I've thought a great deal on exactly the moment I realized I enjoyed exercise. I can pinpoint the time exactly. It was the very fist day I weight trained. When I checked out of the machine and it told me how much weight I lifted, it opened a whole new world for me. It wasn't exactly lifting the weight, it was seeing my accomplishment in writing. It was the machine keeping an exercise journal for me. Every time I hit a goal be it large or small, that kiosk at the gym was there popping up with a little message telling me what I good job I was doing. I know it was just a machine. But, some how, it motivated me. At the YMCA, you get imaginary things called FitPoints for working out. Ever so many points, you get a free t-shirt and your name listed on the bulliten board. So, I worked hard for those first few t-shirts. Then, the next thing you know, I'm REALLY enjoying myself. All the staff there are friendly and VERY encouraging. Every staff member greets me by name. They call me the amazing shrinking woman. The people I work out with are awesome. They encourage me too. My husband has been stubbornly avoiding the gym until recently. He always had a reason to not go. A few weeks ago I convinced him to go with me. Guess what ... he LOVES it! He agrees that the staff and other members make all the difference in the world. He's really getting into his groove with his workout. He'll never be the fitness guru that I've become. But, he told me that he's got so he actually enjoys going to the gym with me. We have exercise equipment at home gathering dust. I never use it. There's always other more important things to do. I have to get in the car and drive myself to the gym to exercise. I do that for me. Some days, I just don't feel like exercising, but go anyway. I tell myself that I'll exercise for 15 minutes and if after that I still don't want to do it, I'll go home. Never fails, I get there and get into it and the next thing you know, time has flown by and I did my whole workout. Advice time now that all that is out! WHEW! Start off small. Do what ever you can and increase just a little each time. If you can afford it, join a gym that has a computer journal system. Get a personal trainer. If you can't, go to sparkpeople.com and look at their video demos of exercises. Log your exercise in there. Give yourself a goal of XX number of calories a week to burn in exercise and increase slowly. Make a new habit. You might just be surprise and find your bodily actually likes exercise. Lord knows it shocked me!

Thanks, Terri. I look forward to being able to weight train, take a yoga class maybe pilates. I think I would certainly need a trainer for a while because I don't have a clue how to get started, I wish you were local! The gym and the Y here are very, very expensive, though, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to afford a membership soon [not to mention I have to wait for clearance, right now I'm not allowed to lift anything heavier than a phone book]. I may ask for it for my birthday in September. I think there are some free yoga classes at the Nature Center, I am planning on looking into that as soon as I have clearance. Besides walking, I really have no idea how to start a home program. My mom lent me her Total Gym back before I had DD, and I would get discouraged because I never felt coordinated enough to do anything correctly. I really hope I'm not just the kind of person who is too much of a spaz to ever do something un spaz like. After I start doing the treadmill regularly I like it, but then eventually it always gets to the point where it is a chore, no matter how good I'll feel when it's done, I don't want to DO it. I'm not sure if it's just the monotony, or if I'm just defective and lazy. Like I said, there are some things I'd like to at least try, so I can see if I enjoy it, I just haven't felt able to [size wise, panni and boob wise] till now. Anyway, I'm scared, because once I am cleared, and I finally have the opportunity to exercise like a thin person, I still won't be good at it. Sigh. No use complaining till the time comes. Wish me luck! xosm

I do wish you the best! I wish I was near you too. I'd be glad to help out! My nickname used to be Lucy. I'm a redhead and a total clutz. I could trip over imaginary things. Your coordination will get better. Mine did. All things get better with practice. My husband has even noticed that I'm more flexible and coordinated. He's commented on it several times. My Y has a program where they will lower the fees if you have a hard time paying them. I don't qualify. But, I've heard others talk about it. You might want to check into it at your Y. The thing is I have equipment at home gathering dust. We don't use it and probably never will. I have to haul my ass to the gym or I won't exercise. I know that for a fact. I get bored at the gym too. I've just recently started taking a book with me. I'm reading while on the elliptical. Now, that takes coordination! But, it's working. I'm actually looking forward to reading time.

Thank you so much GG. Elisa

I am afraid to reply after reading this thread. But here it goes...I'll do yesterday first. B-waffles with real butter and syrup L-cheese and crackers and more crackers and more -cheese its white cheese. D-made a sandwhich to eat at work with a granola bar (so I wouldn't binge eat when I get home at 10 pm-that's what I usually do) then a student brought me a bag of flaming hot cheetoes. Ate the whole bag, the sandwhich, the bar, came home and had 3 rice crispy treats and cereal..with more granola bar. Today so far I had coffee with hot chocolate and a Jack in the Box trio sampler....I am seriously thinking the restrictive aspect of my RNY is not there. I know that I'll gain everything back if I don't change. It's weird because all those first months after surgery, soft foods, the liquid diet, I followed TO THE LETTER. Why can't I control myself now?

BTW-it was a big bag of chips...like the 600 calorie kind.

The thing is the surgery was on our stomach and not our brain. And, that's too bad. I found that I had to find snack alternatives to keep me from making bad choices. When I want something sweet, I grab some fruit. When I want something crunchy, I have some kashi go lean cereal (dry) or some protein chips. I found that if I keep these things in the house, both me AND my husband turn to those for snacks. I also have those 100 calorie packs of kettle korn. Also, I eat 6 small meals/snacks each day. If I eat a little every few hours, I don't feel like I'm starving and I no longer overeat or binge eat. You might want to try getting a little help. I saw my pysch for WEEKS pre-op and we discussed why I binged. It really helped me a lot. I think it plays a huge part in my success thus far and I will not hesitate to go back if it's necessary for my long term success.