I've changed my mind..

Hey all, I have been thinking a lot lately about this whole wls. It's going to be year on the 13th of Feb. and I was recalling the essay I was required to write. It was about the reason/s why I wanted gastric bypass. One of the reasons I mentioned was: to be able to have a healthy pregnancy. In the essay I sounded so passionate about being able to have a normal pregnancy & becoming a mom. Now, I just don't want to even think about being pregnant. I can only imagine the weight gain & all the changes in my body. I don't know...I guess I just don't want to have kids right now or anymore? Anyway, I was wondering is there something you wanted to do before surgery but now you don't want to do it because you fear gaining the weight back? Is this normal? Just curious... Elisa

Elisa Elisa Elisa I wanted to stay away from chocolate, pasta, bread, cake, cookies, ice cream (you get the picture) because I didn't want to gain my weight back. Here I am quickly approaching the one year mark and I have not given them up completley. Take a look at the pregnancy boards and see that others have gone on to have normal/healthy pregnancies and lost the baby weight. Besides when the baby starts crawling and walking you will drop any excess weight and then some. The thought of gaining our weight back is so scary but don't give up your dream of having a baby if that is what you really want. Love ya Corinna

Elisa, I can totally relate. I thought i'd want another baby now that I had WLS, however, I don't. I have a girl whose 6 and I knew going into WLS, I was more likely to not want another child. I am ok with this decision. I look around and see babies everywhere, but it doesn't kick in my maternal instinct. This is the first time I've been thinner too and i worry about getting fat again. Life is hard enough at our house, to add another child would be wreckless. I had this amazing surgery that was all paid for by insurance. I still have my life and my life problems, except I traded one set of problems for new ones. I had an older mom, I was 30 when she said good bye and went to heaven. I hated having an older mom, I vowed I'd never repeat it. I have also decided 35 will be the last year I consider having a baby. I have 14 months left and feel no desire for a baby. My friend is having a baby next month, I totally have no baby envy. I don't even look at baby stuff at the stores. If you are truely destined to have a baby, it will all happen. I couldn't think of anything else when I got married in 1999. I wouldn't change a thing, except husbands career change. Did you see Oprah yesterday about working moms? Jen

Hey Elisa, Can you believe it's only a few days until we hit the year mark? I've only got 7 more pounds to reach the century mark! I'm sorry you're having second thoughts. I thought I would like the look of a thinner me, no more double *****ute clothes, able to fit in to places and social situations I never have before.... Before I had this surgery I had a laundry list of medical problems and no motivation or hope of seeing an end to them. It was when I was trying to get pregnant, and couldn't, that I knew I had to do something, and make a major change in my life, if I expected to enjoy motherhood the second time around. Now after years of being too fat to cycle without medical intervention, I cycle normally. No more blood pressure problems, IBS, BP, Cholesterol, Liver, etc. I still have achy joints from my arthritis, but not nearly as bad as I used to have. Instead of a "can't to" attitude, it's "can do" all the way! My plan, personally, is to have another kid before the eggs get too old. I'm 33 and plan to concieve next year. That will give my body plenty of chance to heal & recover from my 2 surgeries last year, as well as my budget time to bounce back, lol. I never went into this surgery planning on being the next American bathing beauty. I knew my skin would sag and my boobs would be totally tubular, but hey, I can fit into cuter clothes, I'm not as afraid to join in, in social situations, I still have a double chin, and I don't like the look of my thinner body. Oh well, as they say, the surgery is on my digestive system, not my mental processes. Having my son changed my life completly. My perspectives in life and love and how I felt and dealt with those around me. If you want a child in your life, then go for it! If you're too afraid of what a child would do to your body then have one not of your body. There are many children out there in need of a good home. This is one of the options I was considering before WLS, and is still a posibility if I continue to have fertility issues when I'm ready to try again. Unlike children of the body, you can choose if you want a boy or a girl, when you choose a child of the heart. I was a nursing assistant for five years. I took care of many old people. Thin, fat, it didn't matter, everything sags, even "a" cups. The biggest difference I saw in the elderly population was family. Those that had never had children, or did not have a close relationship with their children were horrible, lonley, miserable people to deal with, but those with children, in loving, healthy relationships, were wonderful to be around and tended to lead a happy life all the way to the end. Sorry to get up on my soap box. I just feel that quality of life is a real issue. You have to choose for yourself what the meaning of quality of life is, not me. If having a child would not fulfill you, then don't do it, but if the thought of a sticky, dirty, smelly kid, with a huge smile on their face, just for you, does it, then don't worry about the cosmetics, have the kid. We have the added benefit of our tool to help us get back down to a normal size, that others don't have. Do what you can to make your life happier, and eliminate that which does not. Enjoy the journey, Gosh

Before WLS we [DH and I] said we'd like to start TALKING about if we wanted another this coming summer. I was so sick before, and had such a difficult pregnancy with my first, that it would not have been an option unles I got healthy. Now I am healthy. I think about a baby a lot. I would love another baby, but I am also perfectly fine with the family I have now [and not totally convinced I'd want another 4 year old LOL]. Anyway, the location of my hernia would probably [I find out next week for sure] not allow me to have a successful pregnancy until it is fixed. Once it is fixed I will have my tummy tuck and have no fat apron for the first time in 15+ years. I don't know if I'd be willing to mess that all up with a pregnancy, not to mention I'd be at least a year older. Again, I'd love another baby so if it works out that I can, I will. But I feel lucky to have my health to enjoy the family I have now. I wouldn't worry about making any final decisions right now, anyway. I didn't want kids for 29 years until I met my husband, then I couldn't imagine not having one to share our amazing love. Enjoy what you have now and if and when the time comes that you want something else, you will know.

I told myself i would give myself to 35 to find someone i WANTED to have another child with and have one.....WELL May 8 i turn 35 no SOMEONE in sight and to be honest...I DONT WANT TO...i really wanted to as well...but the idea of gaining weight make me have anxiety. i am having boughts of anxiety over the lose skin what woudl happen if i gained 30 pounds OMG i would freak!!! SO yea elisa I did but dont know....im happy with my son he is 12 and at the age where he can beon his own ok. I can do my own thing not worry about babysitters and i only have 1 baby daddy lmao SO im ok with this....its not a bad thing to not have kids...my brother dosent want any...he says my life is perfect with out me messing up a kids life with my selfishness lmao lmao but thats my brother...anyway..i hear ya and understand....dont do something just casue you think its what society says you should do! LOVE YOU J

First I want to say WOW!!! Look how far you've come! Is that crazy or what? Secondly, I'd like to second the emotion that everyone else is saying. Don't have a kid just because that's what everyone else says should happen. You said that in your essay you "sounded so passionate"... but were you really or were you saying whatever you thought needed to be said to get the surgery done. If it was me, I would have done just what you did whether I felt that way or not. If you're not ready, you're not ready. If it's about the weight gain, then I can totally understand that too. My husband keeps pressuring me into having another baby because he's gonna be 40 and thinks his clock is ticking. What he fails to understand is that it's my body and I'll have a baby when I feel like having a baby, not on his time schedule. I still haven't reached anything close to my goal weight. I'm happy with just my daughter. Heck, I'm an only child too and I don't think there's anything too wrong with me... Maybe I will want another child, maybe I wont. Ultimately, it's my decision. If that maternal thing kicks in for you but you still don't want to go through the pregnancy fun (said with sarcasm), maybe what Gosh says will work for you. Whatever you decide, you need to do what's best for you. We understand.

I've always wanted another child but I wanted to wait until I was a normal weight so I could wear all the cute maternity clothes and actually looking pregnant and not have people wonder if I'm pregnant or fat But now, I'm so afraid of getting pregnant, I don't want to gain any weight. Another fear I have is as I get further out, like in 2-3yrs will I still get full fast like I do now. It scares me to think in 2-3yrs I can eat more and not have that full feeling. From this point on it's all about portion control and I have to really keep an eye on it so I don't gain any weight back. Sylvia