Forever since I have posted... same issues as everyone

Hi all! Happy new year and new YOU's. I was amazed by GG's wonderful continued tracking of our losses. I have read everyone's posts today (first time in a long time) and I realize I really need to stay in touch and need the support of all you girls and guys. I finally made it to goal this month(then showed a gain), but wonder if anyone else has this problem - when I see myself walking into a store through the glass and I don't realize it's me, I think wow, skinny lucky girl, but then I realize it's me and immediately see flaws. Plus, when I look in the mirror, I see the fat me. When I was fat, I was in what my friend Mike calls Fat Girl Denial and NEVER saw myself as big as I was. My weight is so weird, every month it goes up and down 5-7 pounds and I think oh no, I am going to have to report a gain, but it seems to go down just before weigh in. Then goes right back up. I was 129.5 on the 1st, 133.5 today. AND I have been eating terribly. I NEVER get enough protein or drink enough. AND, yes, I will confess to you all, my sisters and brothers, I have eaten 3, that is THREE bags of Chocolate truffles in the last 3 weeks. And man are they good. BUT I NEED TO STOP. The one thing I am proud of is I usedc to eat fast food 5-6 meals a week. Since surgery, maybe once a month and only something small. I have found that I still throw up alot - at least 2-3 times a week. Especially if I eat chicken or protein that has that kind of thick consistency. It seems like chips and crap go down and stay down but I am terrified of getting into that habit. One thing I have noticed, although haqve not addressed yet, is that when I sit in a certain chair in my living room to watch TV, I automatically think I am hungry and have to have food. Talk about weird - I think at this point it has become a learned behavior. Chair/TV = food. Weird eh? I ahve not exercised ONCE since surgery other than the typical day to day kid stuff. I know if I don't start a program I am a prime candidate for regain and I really an enjoying my size 4 and 5's. Anough with my rambling. I have missed you all. Kim A.

Kim, Congrats on your weight loss! I, too, have been out of touch here and am just now coming back to my senses and checking in!! I agree with you that it is hard to believe the person we are now. I went shopping for clothes for a new job and I still look at things and think there is no way that will fit me, and it ends up either fitting or being too large!! My brain is still trying to catch up! I have gone from a size 22 to a size 4/6 in a short time, so I guess I need to be patient... LOL! I look at pictures now from before and think to myself that I never realized I was that big! I have been noticing lately that I feel hungrier as well... and I know it is due to the fact that I was eating foods that are not good for me during the holidays. I had always heard that you get addicted to carbs, and now I know that for sure... since my surgery I was never hungry, until I started eating sweets during the holidays... now I am hungry more often. Ugh. I am working to break that cycle now, and I can totally see how I ended up huge to begin with! I am just surprised that I have not gained any weight in the last month or so. I am not going to go back to being heavy, so I have gotten rid of any remaining goodies left over from the holidays!! Happy New Year, and continued success with your weight loss! Hugs, Deanna

My weight bounces like yours too. I can be VERY frustrating to say the least. I can say that I've experienced the learned behavior hunger too. You've done well to recognize it for what it was. That's the first step to relearning new behavior. You're doing great!

Hi Kim, Happy New Year to you too! ( Sorry took a while to post a reply). Yeah I know what you mean about falling into bad habits. I was eating almost 2 squares of dark chocolate a day about 2-3 weeks ago. I looooove dark chocolate but I don't want to fall into the habit of eating candy and that sort of stuff. So I've managed to wean myself off of it. See how long it lasts? Wow, so you are down to a size 4 & 5 that's great! Congrats! I also don't exercise and I'm not proud of it but I just don't like it. I'm going to try to get into it--that's one of my new year resolutions. There are also certain things that trigger hunger for me too. Like sitting here in front of the computer. Pre-Op I always snacked on something while I sat here reading posts or playing computer games. Now I usually have a glass or two of skim milk or sometimes an apple. I have a question for you...how come you are throwing up 2-3 times a week? I know I had problems with chicken but that was way early on. Well I hope you try to get your protein in & drink more water. It's for your own good young lady! Take care and keep on posting. Give us an update. Elisa