9.5 months out...do you feel....

Ok this might just be me...but i figured I'd ask the people who are post op just as far out as I am.... When you had your surgery, did you feel (even if it was just a non logical thought) that a lot of your life would be better post op ...after you lost weight? Do you feel that in those areas your WLS lived up to your expectations?????? I don't know, i posted on the DS forum about this, but I just feel a bit "let down" the last day or two. I mean i knew logically that WLS wouldn't fix every problem, but it didn't even fix the problems I thought it would fix...i.e. I have a herniated disk in my lower back that 5 doctors told me would be "so much better" if i lost weight. Well i've lost a lot of weight and it's defintely not so much better, it's the same or a bit worse depending on how you look at it. That is just one example......i mean granted I am happy that I've lost weight, and realize that WLS isn't the panacea for all of lifes problems, but I some how feel let down a bit. I guess I'm at the state where the newness of WLS has worn off, and I'm faced with the reality that some of lifes problems weren't caused by my weight. Scott

Scott-it sounds like you are going thru a rough time right now with your back. I went thru this-a hard time- a few weeks ago when I was in the ER for diverticulitis again-an infection in your colon-I thought that since I eat so much better now, and have lost over a 100 pounds, diverticulitis attacks would be something of the past...it really thru me for a loop. We all blamed so much on our weight. And now for the first time for some of us, we are seeing that our weight wasn't always the cause...that is a big deal....a lot to deal with emotionally. There are many areas that wls has lived up to my expectations. I feel like I am more "in control" of my life and that I can "keep up" with things a little better whereas before I wanted to crawl into a hole every minute of the day. Make a pro's and con's list of your post-op life...Maybe that'll cheer you up, because I am sure the "pro's" side of the list will be much longer

Scott I don't know. I went into this to try and increase my life expectancy and in the process found me again. I have more pain now than I did when I was 485 but I am also much more active. I complained to my wife the other night that my back and knees hurt more now than before wls and she pointed out that I am doing more now than I was then. I like the new freedoms that I now have. I hate my body. I am working on more of my problems and seeking help more than before. I am more educated about nutrition and I actually read labels now. I spend more time at the gym and work than I do at home. I freak out about weight gain now as I did last week. I obsess more about the scale now where before the metal monster never really mattered I did not fit on it I maxed it out as it only went to 350lbs and I was more than that I never knew how much more until my annual checkups at my Dr's office. For me I have found that my goals have changed. I did not enter into this to get back into shape for me round was a shape but now that I have come as far as I have I want to get back the body that I had in High School. I was injured in college and have had seven knee surgeries since. I just saw my orthopedic surgeon last week about a revision but we have decided to wait until after I lose some more weight and build up some more muscle to compensate for the lack of cartilage and the two torn ligaments. As I am punishing my body more as I have taken up running. I have a goal that I am working toward and I don't know what the outcome will be but. As Henry ford said "Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal". Or as Thomas A. Edison "If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves. " Sorry for the ramble. Doug.

I totally understand your feelings and I think they are completely normal for someone who has lost weight in terms of small people, not pounds;) So {hugs} cause, yeah, we all get down ... I personally think it's easier to be down sometimes than to chose happiness ... but I digress ;) I think I have a couple of advantages with perspective this time around. I lost 110+ pounds in the late 90's and had to deal with the feelings that weight loss and being thin would solve EVERYTHING, and when it didn't, I got despondent and gained all the weight back. I couldn't believe that I was wearing junior sizes and madly in love, getting married and having a kid, but I STILL didn't love myself. I remember being shocked that I was pretty and successful and surrounded by love but I wasn't HAPPY with myself. Geesh, reality check. I also got denied the first time I applied for surgery and had to wait about a year to finally get approved. Fortunately that left me time to research the surgery [I will admit to being very guilty beforehand on not understanding that WLS is a 'tool' - and only slightly more knowledgeable after the second year] and not see it so much as the ONLY thing that was going to help me. I started therapy a few weeks before surgery in anticipation of what's happening to me NOW. And over the last month or two I am THRILLED with that decision - I honestly think it's the smartest thing I've ever done. I highly recommend it! I also think it's all how you look at it. Yes, WLS is wearing off and reality as a 'normal sized' person is facing us. But we now have the option of taking away the protective layer of fat and dealing with life; what's that AA mantra - accept the things you cannot change? We, as post-ops, saw a chance to change, TOOK IT [which is just amazing] and have emerged successful. But just because we did this HUGE accomplishment, do we stop? Or do we take a look at the rest and say, 'what's next?' I wonder a lot if there will come a time that I sit back and am just simply HAPPY with EVERYTHING. And I type out those words and LOL. I'm going to jump on the life ride and hang on till it throws me off - I figure it'll be a whole lot easier weighing 100lbs less! We're all a work in progress, and we all deserve love and happiness JUST THE WAY WE ARE. xosm

OMG!!!!! YES YES YES YES... I thought...(i know i know) That skinny people had no problems...I mean why would they they were skinny right? I thought, i would have boys lined up for miles, i would find the job of my dreams, be happy with everything, and my parents would be proud of me. FYI it just doesnt work like that...NOW I KNOW! And now that I am 10 months out i am a lil let down. I guess i had expectations that were unreasonable and childish to have even thought that it could of happened. My biggest let down is the belief that i would find a loveing honest man who i was attracted to who wanted to be with me. REALITY....lots of men who wanna be with me now just not the way i would want them to be. anyway i understand...... J

So I re read this whole posting and all comments includng mine.. i got teary. weight was not always the problem....and now we..or i am searching to find out WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM? i just want to be happy find it i think i look for it in places that happieness does not exsist. I think like many i thought the weight made me unhappy when in fact the weight was a side effect of not being happy. BUT things in my life have changed i do more and i do feel ......differant...happy not so sure but differant yes. anyway i just want to share... J

Julie, You know whats the worst thing...i could make a list of the things that really are hurting me in my life...or rather the things that i'm really unhappy with....and try to change them...but part of me feels "trapped". Like i can't change what I want to change, so I'm stuck in a rut. For a long time I used food as my drug of choice to dull the pain of that existence......and now thats gone. I don't know ...i know there is no easy answers. I know it is irrational, but part of me thought that surgery would be a magic wand and make all of my lifes problems go away. I've come close to the end of my weight loss journey, i'm seeing the finish line, and my problems are still with me. I posted something about this on the DS forum and a woman said that it's just like alcoholics ....who after they become sober, can no longer hide behind the fact that they are alcoholics but have to face their lifes problems head on. Someone else said that they often played the "i'm fat" card to explain away all of their lifes problems. It just makes sense to me, I guess it's just a hard realization...and something that needs a miracle or some serious counciling or both. Scott

HI Scott, I understand your frustration as I go for in for my nineth check on Friday. From what I see you have done great with regards to your weight loss. As you know this surgery did not come with any guarantees, but to do what it has done for you so far. If your back is giving you problems then have it fixed. I had it done and the doctor told me that it would last for about five years and that was fifteen years ago. We all get to the point where the newness of our weight loss wears off, but then that's when we should embrace life and move forward, not looking back to the old life we left behind. As you are well aware life is full of problems whether cause by being over weight or otherwise and we must meet those problems face to face and overcome them by the power of our own determination not to fall victim to them in defeat. May God grant you His all sufficient grace to be more than a conqueror! -Bill-