My turn to step up to the table for some cheese and whine...(long)

Hello, I know I don't post much, but to tell you the truth, I think we all slowed down a bit as we became more acustomed to the changes our bodies went through. I just want to write down my whine list, mabey get some sympathy or kind words, and get over it, so here goes. 1) I'm still working on paying off medical bills. Paid off the first surgery, expected the bills, but I'm still working on paying off the emergency surgery bills from July. 2) Had relationship problems with my husband before surgery, still have problems. I know, I know... Don't marry a man intending to change them, just accept them warts and all... I'm having a hard time with this when he'd rather play computer games than play with our son (away from the computer, not my son sitting beside him while he's playing on the computer). I'd like him to treat me with at least as much courtesy as he treats complete strangers. I don't think this is too much to ask. 3) Hair loss. With the two surgeries I'm down to about a third of the hair I used to have. I am a protein goddess and didn't expect it to be so bad. It's a really vain thing to complain about, but to tell you the truth, it's the only part of my physical characteristics I've ever really liked. 4) Acne. All the estrogen being released is making me have acne so bad, especially when it's my period, that one person at work asked me if I had chicken pox! 5) Exercise. Hello, my name is Gosh, and I admit I haven't been doing all the exercise we should be doing. At first I was just too scared of getting hurt. When I was heavier I would injur myself just doing normal everyday activities. Now that I've finally gotten to a point where that's not happening anymore, I decided to start. My program includes a free (with program fee) 3 month membership to their gym. I do very little (10 minutes on bike & 10 minutes on treadmill) three times last week, and now I'm having trouble walking, and a great big red circle on my knee where it hurts. We're not talking high impact exercise here, folks, just stuff "normal" people should be able to do. 6) Lack of sex drive. I've lost enough weight, now, that I have regular periods, and don't have to get medicine to start my cycles. I thought my hormone levels normalizing would help with my sex drive, but the only place it's going is the dessert. (shure helps with my getting along with hubby-not!) Well, now that I've whined at you, I'll tell you some good news. My husband has been chosen to donate bone marrow. He's been on the list for nearly 2 decades, and he was finally chosen. He's going to be helping a 51 year old guy with leukemia. I just feel the reflective joy that I'm able to help Peter do this for someone else. Mabey that's just a little bit narcisistic, but it makes me happy for me, too. Well, I prattled on long enough. Thanks to all 2.3 people *****ad this. Gosh

{{{hugs}}} 1) I wish I could help you with bills, we have insurance but are on the bubble with bills [i.e. today we didn't have dinner because rent is due this week]. I promise you if I win the lottery, I would help you out, only problem is I *never* play lotto, I'd rather have the dollar LOL 2) Is counseling an option? Even if you just go yourself. Therapy has helped me IMMENSLEY in this journey. 3) Biotin? I am a protien princess, but I also have taken Biotin 5000mcg once a day. I am sorry, I hear it DOES grow, and you're still in a time frame where your body is adjusting to multiple surgeries, so give yourself a break! 4) PROACTIV! I started in August and there are before and after pics on my profile ... I got the idea from another WLSer and I hooked my sister on it too. The difference is AMAZING and yeah, adult acne is THE WORST! I heard the WalMart brand is comparable, I'm not sure if it's a big price difference. I know money is tight, but you are worth a little something [OK a LOT, but start with a little;)]! 5) Have you talked to the trainers at the gym? Maybe they can tell you why you are hurting and what you can do to minimize that? I think it's commendable that you do 3x a week, I would think if you stay consistent that you will conquer this hurdle. 6) If your hubby is acting like a schub, no wonder why you're not hot for him! If he wants to get you going in that department, he should know that he needs to work on your relationship in all areas. Communicate. Tell him some of your needs and he can tell you his and then try compromise. Well. Sorry for calling him a schlub, it's super cool that he's giving back like that. Still, he has to give to his FAMILY too, and it doesn't have to be blood and guts, just love and attention!! I love you, Gosh. I wish I could say something to make it all feel better instead of trying to be all practical. Either way, I AM reading and am here for you. xosm

My mom got me a 50lb bag of pinto beans, as a gag gift. She said I'd never starve again. Guess what I have for lunch everyday, at work??? I'm rather aeromatic. He's a schub, but he's MY schub, and I love the little XYZ. I just wish he came with a volume control knob, or something (both for sound and completed tasks). Thanks for the love, I needed it! Gosh

Gosh, your post wasn't long at all...I managed to read it. I like how you numbered each whine. I don't have very good advice to offer...so let see where do I begin. I think I'm still losing hair too...not as much as before but I still see a bunch of strands on the bathroom floor & sink. Whenever I brush my hair in the morning I gotta check the back (the crown) because I usually have this bald spot there and I need to cover it up...I hate that. I'm too young to be bald...but it is growing back just have to be patient. My grandmother gave me a mexican remedy for hairloss which I am going to start today. She says I should put fresh aloe all over my scalp and let it sit for 30 minutes & then wash out, apparently a balding woman from their town in Mexico (which they recently visited) did this and grew tons & tons of hair ...I hope it works for me. Acne...I had this huge pimple grow under my chin and it just won't go away. It's gotten smaller but still there...wonder why? Exercise...I don't at all. I just told my nurse practioner straight out: I have no motivation to exercise. She said: And I can't help you find joy in it and said I should mix it up and try different things everyday something about taking advantage of the momentum? Shows how much attention I pay. Sex drive...yeah I don't have a very high one either. I used to have a pretty good one before...now it's just not as strong. Marriage...It's pretty good. My #1 complaint, I don't really get to see him or spend enough time with my hubby. He works graveyards...I sleep alone at night. I work days and when I get home he's off to school, then gets home & gets ready for work. His day's off: Monday & Tuesday nights...I have the weekend. I hope things change soon when he finishes school. I'm sorry that your hubby spends a lot of time on the computer...I do too sometimes...but if my hubby wants to do something or anything I will leave it and go do whatever he wants to do. Does your husband chat? And I agree it's not too much to ask for him to treat you good. You deserve it. Yup, we all have our complaints...I have faith things will get better. I think we need to be a little patient sometimes. Elisa

... at least I'm an organized whiner... I should just grow a pot of aloe on my head and tell people I died my hair green. My hairbrush could pass for a Furby. A girl at work who had the surgery lost 150lbs without a bit of exercise, so it IS possible. Peter is a rent-a-cop on third shift. I'm off Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. He's off Thursday and Friday. True split shift parents. He even has his own bedroom, so I don't wake him comming and going. Grrr Sorry for the vent, I know things will get better, eventually. Just felt the need to vent/whine Gosh

Girlfriend, if that's all you have to whine about, consider yourself lucky! 1) Thank goodness I don't have medical bills on top of all the other bills. I think the bills thing i****ting harder with the holidays coming. Have you tried to get one of those debt consolidation loans? 2) Men will be men. And, men just suck sometimes. Nuff said. 3) I agree with GG. Try the biotin. 4) Ewww. Chickenpox? (hugs) 5) What kind of bike? Was it a regular exercise bike or a recumbent (where you sit in a chair with your legs in front of you)? I can't ride a regular bike because of my arthritis. Try a recumbent one. See if they have a water exercise class. Those are really easy on the joints. See if they have weight training. Again, easy on the joints AND increases metabolism 6) There with ya sistah! My huband gets really smelly and sweats a lot. I'm sorry but if I have to hold my breath while we're having sex, it ain't working for me. And, he gets all butt hurt when I tell him he needs to shower. So, sex disinterests me now. I wonder if I can have the sense of smell temporarily removed .... hmmmm. That's wonderful that your husband can be a bone marrow donar! 2.3 .... hmmmm .... I must be the .3

Hello Terri R, We tried to refinance the house, but we couldn't. The payments would've been twice as much. For us, it's not just the unexpected medical bills, but the fact that when Francis and Jeanne blew our house away, and it took a over a year to get back into our house, we had bills left over from that. But hey, the lotto's over $30 million, or so. All it takes is a dollar and a dream, right? Amen! more pills??? wahhhhh, wahhhh, sniff, sniff Don't you just LOVE - NOT!! - people? It was kinda between the two. Not totally laid back, but not at a 90 degree angle, either. Since I'm having trouble walking around, today, I just went and did the upper body things, so at least I'm trying to do something. (pats self on back) I just don't understand why he thinks I'd be interested in "getting it on" 5 minutes, or less, after we've argued??? How about being civil for a while, first, you know? Looks like you're the 0.1, as a couple of people came after you. Well I guess that makes sense, if you consider all the weight we've lost. We're a fraction of who we used to be Gosh

BILLS... Lets not even discuss them... I honestly have to say that I had the most amazing wedding and would never change anything about it except for the fact that I wish we had been just a tad bit more stingey with some things. NO, we didn't need to have chicken, turkey and roast beef for the main course (of course the left-overs were amazing but dang I am so tired even thinking of left-overs.) MEN... They are all dip****s and when you tend to forget that, they do something to remind you about it... I love the hubby, he is a good man, but sometimes I just wish... HAIRLOSS...Hmmm you are talking to the woman who drove an hour to go to my hairstylist the morning of my wedding after having gotten 4 hours sleep cuz she would be able to cover up the balding spots ! Take biotin and some hair vitamins. ALSO... I tried minoxadil (however you spell it!) and it did help out. I found a generic brand at the local drug store for $30 they say for 3 month supply but to be honest the one month bottle lasted closer to 6 weeks. ACNE... I will keep my fingers crossed that it doesn't become an issue. EXCERCISE... I was doing really well for a bit but lately seem really tired and dragging my butt out of bed earlier to excercise is not high on my list of priorities. SEX... Well.... Yes, sex is wonderful... Uhhmmmmh but who cares ?! Congrats to your hubby on the bone marrow thing... That has to be great satisfaction to him and your family. I hate that we have all this crap going on but do feel just a tiny bit better that alot of us are going thru this. And, also appreciate that we can share it...

Hello Terri C, Just wait until the Thanksgiving leftovers are here... I agree, he's very good at reminding me. I already cut a foot off my hair. I'm just waiting. Mabey I'll get to the point where I'll have to start doing the Donald Trump combover. Don't blame you. Good for you! You go girl! The rest of the family, surprisingly, doesn't want him to do it. I think it's a wonderful thing for him to do. One of the few things he's done this year to make me happy. That's what's best about our month group, as opposed to all the other groups. It's nice to know we're all, pretty much, reaching the same stages of fustration as everyone else who had their surgery about the same time. Comiseration is good. Gosh

GOSH, Hiya chica!!! well my turn to respond. 1. I paid for my surgery too. Luckily i paid in full at time of surgey but it still hurt my pocket book so i feel your pain I had no insurance ugh. 2. I HAVE NO RELATIONSHIPS!!!! I think...ok no I THOUGHT! That after this surgery that i would have to get a number thingy for all the men lning up to go out with me lol what a fool i was. the only differance now is i have more men to complain about. i do have more action as in boys calling boys asking me out BUT they are all idiots and game players so i question if it was better when they DIDNT call or ask lol. Get on your knees right now and thank god you not in this dating scene.....as for being a father....my sons dad has not seen him in 2 months and thinks work is an exceptable excuse...HELLO he works at disney not a heart surgeon....so i know having your son sitting next to his dad as he plays online chess seems rather lame....at lease he sees his son on a daily basis. try explaining to a 12 year old that his dad has and makes time for his wife and 2 other kids but just cant seem to make time for him...THEY JUST DON UNDERSTAND and to be honest neiother do i. 3.I took take biotin 5000mg as well i think it helps try it. 4. well so far no acne but i have been getting skin rashes....ichy dry spots all overmy arms its nasty i go to dr on wed so i am gonna ask about that. 5. EXCERSIZE..... i admit i have been slacing where i used to go everyday i am going 2 days a week...i know i sux..its just so hard now first off i have 2 jobs now when before i only had one. Then im in astall and before i was losing and it motivated me to go. and lastyly i have been going to a kick boxing class and all i see ( i am sure noone else notices) is skin flayling around the room lol. i have also taken up bike riding with a friend so i would have to add that to my 2 days at the gym...but still i understand. 6. i dont have a lack of sex DRIVE i have lack of SEX PARTNERS lol noone worthy of my goddessness lmao im so damn picky i rarely allow me to touch me lmao!!! AND I hate my job.....sigh will i ever be satisfied???? lmao J