Body image problems anyone else?

I keep having people tell me how great I look. I tell them I need to loose another 30 lbs and they tell me "where?" and I point to my tummy. When I look in the mirror, I still see the EXACT same person I've seen all along. I don't look that different to me. When I go clothes shopping, I go straight to the plus size department and start checking things out. I know all the clothes are too big, but I go there anyway. I've resorted to taking my husband shopping with me to keep me from buying clothes that are too big. I've heard it takes a while for the brain to catch up. Anyone else having problems like these?

OMG! You look great! I just checked out your pictures on your profile. You look so much younger and healthier! And, no way are you a chimp! Good job!

Terri, I can totally relate. I haven't enjoyed my new body. I still tend to gravitate to the plus also. I can fit in a 10/12. I can shop in the normal size department, except I still see myself as a big girl. I have some flab on my arms and everday when I shower, I wonder whose in the mirror looking at me. I dress pretty conservatively and comfortable. I have 1 size 12 jeans and they are a bit loose. I could have gotten away with a 10. With the seasons changing I've decided that I will treat myself to a new clothes in October. I have nothing to wear. I am amazed that I fit in a large, well, i'm in serious denial. I cannot beleive I"m 'normal'. I've always been bigger. I just finally accepted that I have about 20-25 to go. THis goal is easier to reach then the 75 I've lost. I know I will not gain it back. Now, it's time for toning with chronic back pain it's so hard to excercise. I have alot of stress so it takes it's toll on me. Do you get shy when people point out your weight loss. I do, especially when I hear comments skinni mini, thin, where'd the rest of you go. My neck and face are very defined. I still see a fat person though. I still hide under my clothes. I also question if I love myself. Does this make anysense? You are not alone. Jennifer

I've resorted to taking my husband clothes shopping with me. I'll pull something out on the discount rack and be looking at it when he says "No. Put it back. It's too big." He made me try on some medium tops. I almost died when they fit. It never fails when someone compliments me my response is "Yeah but I still have 30 pounds to loose" or something similar. I have NEVER been normal size in my life. I'm not sure if I love myself either. (sigh)

Well, me too I think others see us more than we've looked in the mirror to see ourselves. I don't see the weight coming off as fast these days but my friends tell me every time they see me, I'm thinner... I've found that if I shop, I don't really know what size to wear and the first time I tried on pants I saw my thighs in the 3 way mirror....I had to give myself a little pep talk there and tell myself...well they are on their way down so don't be discouraged. To my surprise, I had to go out and get a smaller pant, the clerks were kindof being funny, but I explained to them about the surgery. I really think they were a bit jealous cause I was in Catherine's. I actually argued with one clerk over the size of unders I wear. She thought she knew by her size charts....I just told her no...those don't work for me. So shopping has been a bit interesting but I am glad to be able to go back into a regular store and buy clothes. I'm having fun!

I wish I had fun shopping. I find it stressful. I don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes I won't wear long. My husband says "Just go buy something." Well, it ain't that easy! LOL

I remember the first thing I bought for myself after having surgery. I made a habit of rewarding myself just $1 for every pound so if I lost 50 pounds I went to the Bon Marche and either bought a new blouse a couple sizes smaller or some perfume or a special pair of earrings. It's really important for me anyway to reward myself and I really don't have to spend a lot on it....I love going to the bead store and I'll get a couple of beads and make some jewelry... I went through a lot of counselling and paid good money to learn these things...so don't beat yourself up if you just have a hard time with your image right now. Anyway, I watched that first blouse slowly fit me...it had a 2 inch gap in it at first. Next thing I knew I could close the blouse, but the arms were still snug....a week or two later, I could wear it. So I bought another and another. I didn't spend a lot of money on them, I don't want to do that either and that is where the support group really helps with the clothing exchange. I buy just a couple of pairs of slacks and one pair of jeans until I need the next size down. I'm excited because I can actually go in the store and buy clothes. I was getting too large for even the large and tall store...so had to order my clothes from the catalog...so you can see why I am so excited.... One thing I have learned is that beauty comes from within and when we feel good about ourselves it shows no matter what size we may be. I struggle sometimes when I look in the mirror cause I still have a long way to go but those little mini accomplishments just make me happy. For instance...today I got up early, rode my bike and had some fun came home did a few things and then I went for another bike ride in the afternoon. I was so proud...except I got a flat tire after getting home from a puncture weed in the tire...dang .... I measured with the car and I rode 2 1/2 miles this afternoon and I didn't measure what distance I rode this morning but I know it was over a mile....That just makes me really proud. I home in some way this gives you a little glimmer of sunshine and you can see shopping in a new light. Don't think of it as a stressor....think of it as an adventure. Just go and enjoy the experience for an hour or so and if you see something you like, fine...if not that's ok too. Reallize that you are beautifully and wonderfully made inside and out.

I am having problems with my image too. I enjoy the attention i'm getting, yet people seem dissapointed in me that I did it the "easy way", like this has been easy. I still have 70-90 lbs to lose and have been stuck on a plateu. I look in the mirror and feel like I dont know the person I see. One day I look at myself and think how good I look compared to before surgery, then I look at a picture and think how fat I still look. I changed my hair style, colored it, and starting doing my nails and makeup. I'm trying to look more feminine, but sometimes it feels so alien to me. there is alot more but I don't know how to put it in words that dont sound stupid. Cathy

My friend at work gave me a wonderful compliment just yesterday about the "easy way". She and I were talking and I shared with her that this whole surgery and life change has been easier that I expected. She looked me dead in the eye and said "You call what you've been though easy?" She went on to explain that she had watched me. Sure I didn't have complications. But, she had noticed how much attention I had to pay to every single bite of food that goes into my mouth, how much I worry about getting enough protein and water, how I measure to make sure I don't overeat and stretch my pouch, and how I hunt constantly for good tasting food high in protein yet low in fat. She said it may be second nature to me now. But, she had watched me struggle and admired how well I followed the rules and stayed away from "bad" food. She sais she would never say it was the "easy way" and would correct anyone she heard say that. I was floored. I don't like who I see in the mirror either. I see my saggy skin and go ewwww! I've changed my hair as well. I'm thinking about letting it grow out. We'll see. I don't think anything you could say about how you feel would sound stupid to anyone of us here on this board. We're all in the same boat, paddling away to get to shore to live a normal life. (hugs) Terri