OT... Political Science for Dummies

I recently received this interesting email at work. I liked it, but as you read to the end, you'll see that I thought something was left out, so I added it on: Global Political Science for Dummies Democratic You have two cows Your neighbor has none You feel guilty for being successful Barbara Streisand sings to you Republican You have two cows Your neighbor has none So? Communist You have two cows The government seizes both and provides you with milk You wait in line for hours to get it It is expensive and sour Bureaucracy, American Style You have two cows Under the new farm program the government pays you To shoot one cow and milk the other Then pours the milk down the drain American Corporation You have two cows Your sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one dies You spin an announcement to analysts stating you have downsized in order to reduce expenses. Your stock goes up French Corporation You have two cows Your go on strike because you want three cows You go to lunch and drink wine Life is good Japanese Corporation You have two cows Your redesign them to be one tenth the size and producing 20 times the milk of an ordinary cow You teach them to travel on unbelievably crowded trains Most of them are at the top of their class at cow school German Corporation You have two cows Your engineer them to be blond, drink lots of beer Give excellent quality milk, and run 100mph Unfortunately they demand 13 weeks of vacation a year Italian Corporation You have two cows You don't know where they are, so you wander around looking for them You see a beautiful woman and break for lunch Life is good Taliban Corporation You have two cows, which are all the cows in Afghanistan You don't milk them because you can't touch another creature's private parts You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives for milk You buy lots of weapons with your $40 million Iraqi Corporation You have two cows They go into hiding They send radio tapes of their mooing Florida Corporation You have two cows, a black one and a brown one Everyone votes for the best looking one Some people who like the brown one accidentally vote for the black one Some people vote for both, some vote for neither, some can't figure out how to vote at all Finally a bunch of guys from out of state tell you which one was the best looking California Corporation You have two million cows They make real California cheese Only five speak English, and most are illegal cows Arnold likes the ones with big udders I emailed my friend back telling her how much I liked the above, but that one state corporation had been left out (what made it even better is she's from Houston): Texas Corporation You have two presidents They can't count how many cows and don't care They send one cow to Iraq and one to Afghanistan Both are declared enemy combatants and held without trial You announce you're thinking of shooting an Iranian cow Your family oil stock goes up 150% Everyone feels so much safer now