emotional

is anyone else going through an emotional change? I feel lost. im not depressed just really lost. I dont know who i am. I wish i knew what to do i feellike i have this suit on and i am this fat girl looking out. i dont knwo how to respond to people and i am so lonely for acceptance from myself. weird? anyway i was wondering if anyone else was feeling weird strange and lost? J

I haven't had that problem. Though people at my support group have talked about something similar. Do you have a local support group you can go to? I always find talking in person helps a lot. I hope you feel more normal soon. (hugs)

Hi Julie, I haven't gone through an emotional change (yet) but I have also heard of people going through this. I think that with TIME your mind will catch up with your body. Be kind to yourself. You have worked very hard to get where you are now. Keep your head up and know we are here for you. I also agree with Terri's suggestion-you should try to find a support group in your area to attend. Also, if I were in your shoes and there was no support group available (like where I live) then I'd probably see a therapist, just to kind of get the "kinks" out of my head. Elisa

You ask if anyone is going thru an emotional change, and I think my answer would be YES - but not for the reasons you mention. I *wish* I felt different - even if it was just on the outside, I don't feel different - I mean, I personally thought I would feel fit and healthy by now, and I don't, even with the changes in my co-morbids and my meds. I am getting seriously depressed that the only reason I went thru what for me, was a grueling surgery, and I'm still fat and sickly. And people don't say I look different - so 60+ pounds or the inches that the tape measure show mean nothing to me, cause I know I FEEL the same and people are reacting to me the same, and well, I don't want to be the fat sick girl who sits on the sidelines of life. But this is NOT ABOUT ME [gosh, why do I always DO THAT?!?] ... I read that lots of WLSers have the same feelings as you describe, especially women who have battled being overweight their whole lives and are now suddenly not a fit for that mold, that let's face it, is a pigeon hole that fat people are put in to ... gee, can I make any less sense? I think I wrote this to you already, J, but self love is a HUGE lesson for all of us, fat or thin, young or old, if you can't figure out HOW to LOVE your OWN SELF, then no one can really ever love you. It sounds like used up advice that's easier to say than to do [it is, my friend, it is] but there is nothing closer to the absolute truth. If you don't have access to a support group, I would seriously recommend finding a therapist to talk this all out with. I think you have long accepted yourself as the friend, not the starring role, and now that you are one step closer - yes, just ONE* step! - closer to being the star that you were meant to be, you're scared. It's normal, it's expected, you don't wanna throw away your blankie cause you're not sure you can face life without it. Lots of us here on February already feel like we have another safety net in our spouses/SO's - so perhaps for us, letting go of the fat blankie will be a little less weird, but we all [at least I hope all of us] are going to have to get up the guts to view ourselves without our blankie and figure out how to be the person we want to be, and the person we already always have been and LOVE each and EVERY PART of US. I think this is an emotional time, for women with the rapid release of estrogen that's been stored in our fat cells, and for all post-ops facing the ramifications of a body altering surgery ... going on with life now IS sort of weird for all of us, I expect. As weird as you to be dating without your blankie, you can't imagine how weird it is for me to be facing someone who's loved all of my 300+ pounds and telling him, 'hey, I didn't really love myself that way, so sorry' ... and I can't imagine how weird it is for someone else's situation either, until I've been in their shoes ... *I say this is only ONE step closer to our goal because I know that WLS or being thin or being healthy,even, I know none of those things alone define ANY of us here - I know this because you all told me and I know this because we are all REAL. We're always going to be a work in progress, each an every one of us. A quote my hubby used today when our plans went awry, "hey, half the fun is GETTING THERE." If he hadn't of said it, I may have taken the misery of that moment, and held on to it for the rest of the day, INSTEAD I laughed it off, took the kiss that was offered, and we changed the plan ... and we changed it again when that went to **** THEN we HAD FUN. And maybe, where I ended up was where I was going all along? Perhaps we should all take the time to stop, take a deep breath and ENJOY this process, accept who we WERE then, be PROUD of who we ARE NOW, and enjoy the ride of getting to be WHERE WE WANT TO BE. Cause if we stop moving, we're dead, and let's face it, LIVE is better! Yah, Julie, you probably just wanted {{{{{hugs}}}}} and some sympathy ... and I have that for you times ten! YES I am EMOTIONAL and well, good thing, I say! Let's have a good cry and move on to better things tomorrow, OK? xosm

Thanks to everyone i guess its just so much happening so fast and its hard to grasp it all. And YES i did have a good cry and i am sure there will be more to come. i dont have insurance so i cant see a therapist although i have been to so many in the past i am sure your advise is exactly what they would say. Me i wanna have shopping theropy lol i thank each of you for being great. its hard to explain to people "i know i look great and feel great i just FEEL differant" i hope you all dont go through this it kinda sux. J

My doc says the third month out is when this will usually happen. With all of the "wow" changes we are going through it's no wonder. We've seen the pounds coming off...changed clothing sizes a few times...watched the inches melt off and all of a sudden...our emotions catch up to us. I'm not feeling lost myself but today I have been fighting the urge to put something in my mouth. This week has been pretty stressful and I'm trying to stay on top of those emotions. I tried to curb that urge by working on some crafts, distracting myself and just drinking more fluids. I started my photo journal to remind myself where I came from and spent a few minutes reflecting. Maybe this is where exercising helps me too. It gets me pumped up and feeling better about myself. I know you exercise a lot...feel good. Our self worth should be a top priority. When we learn to love ourselves, others will love us as well. I once counselled with a Pastor about this and she told me that I should see myself as God sees me. A beloved daughter, (no strings attached, just loved, the most amazing love is unconditional love). Once I understood and took that to heart, I began loving myself and you know, it does work. So stand tall, square your shoulders, smile and love yourself. You are worthy!

"We've seen the pounds coming off...changed clothing sizes a few times...watched the inches melt off and all of a sudden...our emotions catch up to us." I wish that was the reason for me

I'm feeling emotional, maybe not depressed, but it takes nothing for me to cry. I feel like I'm dealing with a lot more emotional issues than I ever have in my entire life. It feels weird when people tell me how GREAT I look, it kind of makes me feel like I didn't look great before. It's strange, it's almost like I'm mourning for the old me, and I am not sure yet who the new me is. Plus I'm at a plateau right now, and I know how to break it, but eating nothing but protein for 10 days and nothing else kind of makes me feel like, dang, why does it have to be so hard! So maybe we're not feeling the exact same things, but I can't tell you how much more emotional I feel now that I'm not eating for pleasure anymore.

I agree i am not eatting for pleasure and i feel like that made me feel better so know i dont knwo what to do. i work out alot and i shop alot....prolly not the best thing. I agree i dont know who i am and i am morning the old me. I miss who i was i guess cause this person is so new to me. Last night a friend said to me hey skinny and i was like inmy mind thinking (dont Phunck with me) but he really thought i was and i was thinking he was picking on me. cause when i was a teenager a had an old bosss who called me tina and uh i was not tiny. so i dunno its all so weird and frustrating and in my lil mind i also thought that when i lost my weight i would find love liek that and i could have my choice of whatever man i wanted....YEA FALSE what was i thinking?????? dating is just as hard with less weight as it was with more weight just now more men to have issues with lol. feel free to talk with me anytime seems like we are going through alot of the same things J

Are all of you reading my mind? Yikes! I've told a few people about the emotional issues and they all look at me like I'm out of my mind. (I feel like I am too). Everyone says they see major changes and I'm sure its happening...I'm down 3+ sizes and over 100lbs since I first started the journey if I include pre-surgery weight loss. Do any of you not see it even though you feel it?