self destruction

Ok...well for some reason I feel like I am about ready to self destruct!! I am not exercising, which I have good reasons for, but I know no reason is good enough. I eat whatever the hell I want and graze all day long!! What is wrong with me!! I am just so disappointed in me!! I know I am failing because I am allowing myself to. Food is not that big of a deal, so why do I treat it like that. Why do I put such emphasis on food?? I have contact my nutrionist's office and told them what was going on. I was hoping once I admitted it to them I would get back on track. They are going to call me back later. I want so badly to be thin, but why is the want never enough to conquor the food addiction?? I want to deal with this now so I can use this tool for the rest of my life!!! I need someone who understands addiction to help!! What the hell can I do!! I am about to go crazy!!! Sorry to bother you all I just don't know where to turn! Brandy 321/230/147

Brandy, I feel for you. I have been battling food addiction since I was 14 years old and began stealing the chocolate milk off the porch that was delivered by the milkman. I attended Overeaters Anonymous for many years before WLS to talk to people who understand that food is my addiction. I was bulimic for 10 years and almost ruined my esophagus and stomach lining. I get the compulsions today and try to stay with the basics - the best thing I heard in the past couple weeks was MORE PROTIEN AND MORE WATER. This was pretty basic for me and helped me to get back on track. You might consider an OA meeting or seeing someone professionally. Addiction is scarey to me. I am scared every day that I will "go off the wagon" so to speak. Good luck to you and remember - the first part of change is recognizing that change is needed. Now comes the action part. I'm thinking of you. Sarah

I have been taking Welbutrin perscribed by my Dr. and it helps a lot. It helps to curb the cravings and depression that goes with it....

Brandi, Just stay with eating protein that you like and vegetables then you will not stay as hungry. I make a chicken stirfry that I love to eat. All you need to do is boil some rice and put in a can of tomatoe sauce and a can of rotel tomatoes after the rice has cooked. While the rice is cooking cut your chicken breast up into small pieces and salte with garlic, pepper, and salt. Add bell pepper and onion as well. Once the chicken is salted add to the rice mixture. This is easy and the rice keeps you full as well. Easy to cook. I can make in less than 30 minutes. My husband and I do well with this. We also like stuffed bell pepper. I snack sometimes at night on popcorn. I still lose weight and I don't feel very hungry. Also, what may be making you snack alot is if you are drinking with your meals. Some people are still hungry after 30 minutes because of this. If you are doing this, stop it now. If not you will cause your self to not lose weight. Keep in touch!!! I find on trips I snack on foods that are not healthy and one thing I try to take on trips is beef jerky so that I get protein. I like the peppered beef jerky from walmart. Good luck! Tamela

hi brandy. wow - you sound like you're doing and going through the same stuff as i am. but you've already dropped 90 pounds - forever - so you must be doing something right. RIGHT? try to stick with the water and protein - not at the same time. even if you're eating whatever you want, as long as it's only a taste, don't beat yourself up over it. this is a lifestyle change not a diet. you're in it for LIFE. and the fact is that we're all learning new methods and choices. i don't know that i'll ever be thin, brandy, but i'm looking for healthy and able to do more stuff. and i'm already both of those things so i'm already a success. and brandy - if you haven't already figured this out - i still weigh more than your starting number. it's all a matter of perspective, i guess. i find myself accepting my frailties and letting myself off the hook about guilt so that i can do all this for another day. even though i'm not into aa or oa or whatever, i do know that 'one day at a time' is the way to go at it. hope this helps a little, girl. try to be nicer to yourself - you're very much worth it. focus on what you're doing correctly. congratulate yourself on that. 90 pounds in six months averages out to 15 per month. that's awesome in anyone's book. hope you dig deep down and find a happier you inside. take care dorthe

Brandy, I wanted to let you know that I too have a food addiction but this tool only allows me to eat so much. I didn't mention this in my last email to you. I was up late and I only put some good tips that I follow as far as what I eat and all. IF you have lossed 90 pounds you have done better than me!!! You are doing GREAT!!! I have lossed only 84 pounds, but I am happy about that. You are losing much faster evidently. It is funny, but I can go two to three weeks without losing and then lose about 5 pounds and for some reason that makes me feel good. Right now I have gone on about my second week without losing but about 1 pound. I keep a positive outlook because I know I am still losing. Even if I don't see the loss I feel it and it shows in my clothes. Good Luck and don't feel bad!!! Tamela Pittman

I thought once I had this surgery I wouldn't want to eat bad ever again. I was wrong. I have passed the stage of newness with this surgery, and now am facing reality that the overeating fase is still there. I have lossed almost 100 pounds, and still constantly think about food. On bad days I will chew things that are not supoose to go into my stomache and spit it out before it gets the chance to hit my stomache. I know this is not a good thing, but you know it gets rid of my craving. On days that are good I constantly have fluid ( crystal lite , I love the peach tea!), and have fruits available. I also found that having pictures of myself at my heaviest, or videos of me, my journal of how I felt at my heaviest reminds me that I can be that aweful way suffering again someday if I don't stay on track. Then I look at myself now in the mirror, and see that it is definitly worth it to stay on track. All of us with go off track at one point, just remember that when you do , you need to get those reminders out and get back on. This is something that you for the rest of your life will have to deal with. Hopefully the further you get the easier it will become to let go of the bad habits. Also try your HARDEST to have NOTHING in your house that is bad for you that way it won't be easy for you to snack or eat the bad stuff. Teach others around you the same. I hope this helps. Take care Faith