11 days pre-op & Scared

Good Morning, I have 11 days til my surgery and I am so scared. My 10yr old son told me he didn't want me to have the surgery because he didn't want me to die. I told him that with this surgery I would lose alot of weight, which in turn would help my back pain there by making it possible for me to do more things with him. I have about 110lbs to lose and this is the only option left for helping my back pain. But now my son has me worried. Does anyone have any words or advice for this fear? thanks Cathi

Cathi, It will be ok. I know what you mean by being anxious. I have three sons but I have put it to them this way.... I will be able to be a more active mom for them. If I don't have the surgery, it is only a matter a time it will catch up with me and limit the years I have to spend with them. I think with this type of presentation, you may find more support. I have about 110 pounds to lose too! I think about all the things I will be able to do with my family this summer after February 24th!! Hopes this helps! Diana

Cathi, I know how you feel. I have mine on Tuesday and I'm terrified. I have a 14 year old son that I'm worried about. I told my surgeon that I was scared and he said, "The surgery is the easy part.. What you need to do after is the hard part." That made me feel a little bit better. Maybe you can look at it that way. Good luck to you.

Lorraine, This is so true! I just want the surgery to be done so that I can be on the road to a much smaller me! I am so looking forward to a new life that I can spend doing things with my children instead of watching them. Good Luck on your surgery. Please let me know how it goes. Cathi

Hi Cathi, Let me tell you, I too was really nervous because this is major surgery. But if I had to summarize the whole thing I'd say the worst part pre-op for me was the bowel prep. That is the nastiest stuff this side of creation. And the worst part of the surgery was the first day. I was in a lot of pain the first day. But after that, a new chapter in life has begun! Believe me, when you wake up in your room or recovery or whatever, and you realize, 'hey I'm still here!', you'll be fine! It's perfectly natural for you to be scared. But remember that the stats on this surgery are great. The mortality/complication rate is very low, so the odds are good for you. I am sure you'll do fine! Good luck. VB

I think all of us post-ops were nervous in the days before surgery. You work and work to get all the pre-op testing done because it's like a goal you're driven to. But then it's time.... and you have second thoughts. If you didn't ... I'd be worried about you. But you've put lots of time, effort and research into what you're doing. Remember what got you into all this - to get yourself healthy ... to take better care of yourself ... and to be sure there's a future ahead that you'll enjoy with your 10yr. old. Your son is just worried becuase he's never been thru this either. Have you sat down with him and explained what's going to happen to you? And how you will need some help from him after surgery? And told him why you're doing this? The more he knows ... the less he'll be scared. Also tell him what to expect when he sees you after surgery ... so it's not a surprise. My 14yr. old said pre-op that he wasn't going to know what to do with a "skinny" mom ... he's never had one! I liked the "skinny" part and so will you. best of luck!!

I'm 10 days post-op, and had all of the pre-op jitters. I, though, don't have any children to worry about. I was not so much afraid of dying, but of having a stroke or something and being completely disabled and becoming a burden to my family. These are all NORMAL fears. I had never had surgery before, so just the idea of anesthesia, etc, was concerning. I agree with talking to your son a lot before hand, so that he knows what is really going to happen, and what to expect. Remember why you made this courageous decision in your life - this IS scary, but is a very necessary choice to have a healthy, long life with our families and for ourselves. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't even begin to take care of your family. Good luck as you continue through this process. The surgery day was actually the easiest one for me - the day before was the most nerve-wrecking for me, and the day after surgery- the real work begins! Best of luck. Will be praying for you.

Hi Cathi, I am 9 days pre-op and my son also shared with me three days ago that he did not want me to have the surgery. He even came into my room last night and shared with me that he is creating a time capsule so if I die he will remember me. Not exactly what a mom wants to hear. But, tonight I sat down with him and together we went through the before and after pictures on this site and he seems more excited that Mom won't be fat anymore. My son is eight and it seemed to have helped him to see so many pictures of so many other people who have done it. Good luck to you! We will both be fine! Jami

Cathy I know what you are going through. I had so many mixed feeling and was scared but I tried to hide it from my family. My son is grown in another state and I told him I would be find don't worry. Well you know he flew in and I was so glad for the help at the hospital. My Dr. also said the surgery is the easy part and the success rate is very high. So I prayed and keep my faith that the Lord would not bring me this far to leave my now. I agree with the others tell your son as much as you thank he can handle and make him a part of this. It will help him and you. God bless and keep you durning and after you date. You are and always have been in his hands. Remember we know what living with the weight will do.

Cathi, I know what you are feeling. I am 12 days post-op and I have an eight year old son. My son was worried about me dying. I did talk honestly (with age limits) about the surgery, recovery and even some problems, like vomiting, fatigue, etc. Your fears are normal for anyone who is about to experience surgery. Involve your family, friends (if you can) to be active with your son during the surgery and first week. It helps to keep them busy and will help you recuperate. I also allowed my son to see my scar today and explained to him what he would be seeing and a little about what I was going through. You know your son best as to what he can and cannot handle. I will be thinking of you and your family. Best wishes, Kristi