Finding Peace

Hi everyone! First post here. My surgery date is Feb 7. I'm quite nervous. I'm not worried about the after part, just the surgery and possible complications. Anyone have any tips on reducing this anxiety? I have been giving myself pains from worry and goodness knows I can't afford an ulcer!

I struggle with this everyday! It has gotten so bad that I thought of even not doing it. It is getting better though. I try to look at the negative effects if I do not do this. Now I am only 26, and really don't have anything negative happening with my health yet, but like my husband says, why wait to see if you will develop other problems, why wait to die. Cause that is what is going to happen if you keep gaining weight. This may sound harsh, but it was a good dose of reality for me. He is right, why waste my life and just wait for the medical problems to start rolling in. So everytime I start to think about the possible complications, I remind myself, is it really that much worse than what I am now, or what I will be if I keep eating and gaining weight. And anyting worth having is not easy! So what if it is a little pain, and a struggle, better now to loose weight then later to fight for my life and still be fat with problems. On a more relgious note, I believe GOD has a predetermined date that everyone will be taken on. And if GOD wants me on Feb 11, 2005, then it is my time to go. No matter if I have the surgery or not. I could be taken while walking down the street. I am not a huge relgious freak, but I do believe, and I place myself with him. Now I am not saying take a chance with death by doing stupid things, cause GOD is gonna take you for just being stupid! But you are doing something to better your life, not to hurt yourself. You are doing it with good intentions, so know that good intentions are positives, and always think positive, cause good things will come. Ok so I am done now...I know you will do awesome!!! If you need anything please dont hesitate to email! Brandy

*Bsmile****here Michell! First, congratulations on your date! YOU are one day ahead of me - my surgery date is Feb. 8th. I am going through similar feelings - But though I do - I try to stop it as soon as it starts now. I remind myself just WHY I am doing this. I'm doing it because my weight and the resulting damage of that weight to my body systems is going to cause my death. I'm doing it because I have finally admitted to myself that I cannot do it by myself - I HAVE been on many diets - but I always gain everything back and more. I must do something different to succeed in my health goals - my life goals. Also, I think faith is a very important ingredient in coming to a place of peace about this. I know in the deepest part of who I am that God Loves me - has a plan for my life, and that plan, the bible says is for GOOD - not evil. I think this surgery makes you stop and consider your life - the possibility of death, and where you are with all of that. For some people, they may be able to find that stillness, rest and peace in other ways - For me personally, I had to seek out the answers to "Who was Jesus?" Was He who He said He was? Is there a God? etc. And though, I don't have all the answers, and sometimes I still struggle to find peace in every situation - i continue to get better with it. Yesterday, I was struggling - today, as I have prayed and sought God more - I am very peaceful and still in my heart. My advice would be "pray" & if you don't know how - seek out someone who does and ask them to pray with you, and for you. Focuse on the good and beautiful things - and do not fear rob you of this 2nd chance at life. God bless you on this beautiful journey & remember- God DOES have a plan for your life - and that plan is for GOOD - not evil. You WILL make it through this operation - through the other side, because he has a beautiful plan for your life, and He will bring it about. huge hugggs!!! If I can help in any way - please let me know. I'm routing for you and WILL be praying for you today and on February 7th! Susan

Thank you both for your wonderful responses. My faith has helped me through this whole process, and I know that God will get me through one way or another. I too am young, 29, with a husband and two small girls. I am just scared of leaving them. There, I said it. That is my biggest fear. I have many wonderful reasons for havign the surgery, so I am trying to stay on focus with those reasons; health, energy, longer life, a positive role model for my kids, and I am in healthcare, so I want to be a good role model for my patients. Again, thank you both for your wonderful responses and good luck to both of you also!!!

Hi Michell, I know exactly where you are coming from. I fluctuate between being excited, nervous, and flat scared out of my wits!! I worry about complications too. But my doctor has had no deaths (that's good!) and very few complications with any of his patients. He's so careful when he does surgery, and I'm very thankful for that. I just keep telling myself that this is what I HAVE to do for my health and well being and I'm going to come out of it with flying colors. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts for a speedy and safe surgery/recovery! Vicki

Michell, Don't let anything steal your joy. The joy that comes from within. The good Lord will work through the doctors so you can enjoy your children and family, again. Find an affirmation and say it over and over again. It is scary...but you have to let that go. Be positive...as positive things happen to positive people. Prior to my surgery, my WLS doctor and I prayed together. I knew, then, that everything would be fine. Although I had complications after the surgery, I would do it all over again. It has totally changed my life. Don't be afraid. All good things.....Good luck with your new life and welcome to the losing side of life.