Paula, I'm sorry to hear that your birthday was so sad. It has to be hard to celebrate a birthday you shared with your mother now that she is gone. I lost my mother in 1997. It has gotten easier for me, personally, as the years have gone by. I can't say it will be the same for you, but I do hope it does get easier for you. I still have my moments when I miss her terribly and want her with me! You say your mother was a very critical and judgmental person. That had to be hard to live with. I've never understood why someone would go out of their way to make someone else feel bad. I'm sure she cared for you deeply and maybe her being critical about your size was her way of worrying about you and letting you know how she felt. Some people are just not good at letting their feelings be known in the right manner. You are such a beautiful, caring person, Paula, and I wish you a belated happy birthday. Wanda

Linn, Please go for another consult or even a couple more to see what another surgeon can offer. Plastic surgeons I believe are artistic by nature and I would hope you could find the one who is willing to help you. I have a thought..I'm not sure if it is ever done. I am going to have reconstructive surgery on my absent breast and the other side to match. I don't want implants either. My surgeon does microsurgery and can do what is called a Tram Flap where he will form breasts from excess tissue either from my belly, hips, or thighs. I wonder whether they can do that for you?? What do you think? I think it is worth looking into. Why not check the UCLA Plastic Surgery site and read about the procedures? Sorry I don't have the link. You are not acting vain at all. It is disconcerting to lose so much weight and then not have the body you thought you would have. Don't just settle...I feel confident you will find the right surgeon for you. Good luck. Best wishes, Paula

Linn, I'm with Mary. I'd get a second opinion. At the least, I'd have the PS you met with submit it to insurance and see what happens. If you're having back and shoulder problems due to all the excess, you never know what they will do. (I'm sure your doctors probably knows what the insurance company wants, but it never hurts to try) You must be in great shape with all the running you do. I can't think of anything more physically demanding than running. I wish I could do it... tried, but my knees just hurt so badly afterward when I try. Wanda

I posted this on the PS board, but thought I'd share my ramblings with you all. I had a PS consult last week, and I'm not too sure what to think. The first thing he said is that I don't look like his normal gastric bypass patient. Good, I guess, but I don't think I look very good at all! He then told me it looked good for insurance coverage for the breasts because I frequently get sores when I do longer runs or races. He also told me that if I only get a breast lift without implants that he thinks they will be too small for me (I've always been large-breasted) but that he'll do whatever I'd like. I'm a little afraid of implants and don't really want them if I can avoid it. As for the tummy, he said I looked like someone who has had a child, not someone who's lost 90#, so it was unlikely for insurance to cover the TT. He didn't think he'd have to do as extensive a surgery for that as his other WLS patients, but definitely thought I'd benefit from it. I explained that I have a lot of stress on my neck and shoulders from ALL of it bouncing when I run, not just the boobs! He was still unconvinced that insurance will cover since you can't really say that I have much of a hanging panni. So, like I said, I came out of the office feeling incredibly vain about how I think my body should look, but he did make me feel as though he could definitely help me out with my body image. Another point I'd like to make (sounds like I'm trying to justify my desires, huh?) is that it sure would be nice to be able to only wear a sports bra to run in since I get so hot even with the microfiber shirts, but with all the bounce, I just can't do it. They don't make them with enough support, and there is no way I'd expose my belly in all its glory! Thanks for listening to me babble. Linn

Thankyou everybody! You have made my day a brighter one! Hope all is going well for you! Rhonda