Believe your boyfriend. He obviously likes you just the way you are, and that is a wonderful thing. My husband is like that too. He keeps telling me (well, he hasn't for a while) that I'm plenty small enough. He also tells me he loved me how I was before surgery, and why would he love me any better now? What gets me is when he tells me I'm eating too often! I wish he'd make up his mind about what he thinks I should be doing! Should I eat less and continue to lose, or should I maintain as I have been? No wonder I'm having mixed thoughts. I'm getting mixed messages from him as well as from my own mind. Linn

You know, Paula, now that we are basically through the main process, it seems like this part is almost more difficult than the first. It seems as though there is almost a constant pull in our minds between where we think we are and where we think we ought to be. I was surprised that I actually GREW. I really didn't, but I'm once again the height I thought I was before surgery. The weight really pulled on me, I guess, because I was only 5'4" when measured pre-op. By the way, ramble on anytime! My eyes are always open. Linn

Nick, When I told this to my husband last night he just said I was crazy. He doesn't see the imperfections I see and thinks that I wouldn't be any better off by losing any more weight. I do appreciate what you said about carrying around the extra weight. I work in fire science and have to take the firefighter's 'pack' test every year (walk 3 miles in 45 minutes with a 45# pack). I picked up 2 of them (about the amount I've lost) and tried to walk with them. It was tough. I do remember how much more difficult and painful it was to move then, but you know how we get, always wanting something more. I want to run faster. Might be easier with a few less pounds. I guess that's one thing. Looking at myself and still not liking what I see is the mental part I'm struggling with. Thank you for your kind words. I guess it's just going to take some more time... Linn

Linn - Everything is relative. It takes a long time for our heads to catch up to our bodies, both on the way "up" and on the way "down" and our society of "barbie doll wannabe's" doesn't help the perception of being 'fat' any. Next time you are in the store, go over to the kitty litter or dog food aisle. Put bags totalling the amount of weight you lost into a cart or into a pile on the floor. If you can get 2 buckets or 2 bags that you could lift, then do that instead. Move around either trying to lift the bags or lifting the cart (or pushing with your body). That's what you had before this surgery. Then you can set them down and walk away (unless you need to buy some kitty litter or dog food lol), confident that you have left that weight behind you, so to speak Personally, I'm about 100 lbs down (wavering on the last 10 lbs I had lost) and would like to lose another whole 60-80, which would take more effort than I've put forth so far.. :-/ ) If you're maintaining, then that, in all truth, is enough. If you can do the extra, then great. If not, then don't beat yourself up about it... While most of us wouldn't mind losing another 10-15, look how far you've already come, and keep that in mind when the self-doubt starts nagging at the back of your mind about feeling fat

I am right there with you. I have lost 85lbs but I am still 15lbs away from 100 and thats where I want to be. My body seems to be happy @ this weight but I still feel fat and bloated. I tend to forget that I am still pretty bloated from my gallbladder surgery and my BF tells me all the time that he can tell that my stomach is big from being swollen and tender and not from being fat. He also tells me constantly that my butt is getting smaller and that I am fading away to nothing. (he met me when I was about 15lbs heavier). But I dont hear his words, I only see my belly sticking out and see the numbers on the scale. I wish I could let his words in!! sarah