Why is it so hard??

Why is it so hard to stay on track and do all of the things that I did so faithfully in the beginning, like diet and exercise? I already know the answer, but I keep asking myself the question because for some reason I can't make myself carry out what I need to do The answer seems to be that "they operated on my stomach, not my head." What's wrong with my brain that I eat what I'm not supposed to? Thank God for the pouch, it's all that keeps me from really regaining a lot of weight. It all seems to be about poor choices. I tell myself that "I'm normal now, so I can just go along my merry way without any consideration of watching what I eat." I don't exercise at all, basically. I tell myself that it's because I don't have the time, which is really true, but I managed to find the time before. I don't always drink a protein shake for breakfast, instead choosing for coffee and a donut. Do I have a death wi****'s really come to that, that I have to ask myself this question. I have had the gift of life given to me, and I choose to risk it all for the fleeting pleasure of a mouthful of food. WHY?? My weight bounded between 186 and 189 for many month****ting a low of 184 for a single day, then returning to the 186-189 range. Then I climbed to 191 but quickly went back down to 189. Then I jumped to 193!! Help! But the sad thing is, I know that I am the only one who can help me, and yet I continue to make all the wrong choices. Why??

Lynda, I don't have the answers for you, but just to remind you that surgery or not we are human. We often don't make the right decisions and that can be hard. At one point the Kaiser dietitian who was a moderator for the on-line list for Kaiser told us to consider counseling with someone who specialized in "compulsive eating" not someone who specialized in eating disorders as they normally are anorxia (spelled incorrectly) and bulemnia not compulsiver eating. Often we eat to feed a need. I think sometimes eating is an addiction, but unlike the alcoholic who can live without alcohol ... we can't live without food. I feel left out sometimes when everyone around me is eating goodies and I'm not. I don't regret having the surgery, but I do miss some of the things I have given up. It is hard to stay on track, but do it a step at a time even a bite at a time. If you have time, go to the thread entitled Friday Check in. In it we talked about setting goals and making them realistic. Here are some examples that "may" work for you: This week, I will do my usual coffee and donut on 4 days and 3 days I will do protein of some form and some fruit. That way you are making a gradual change NOT an all or nothing change. We would love to have you join us in staying on track. Helping others often helps us too and also helps us focus on what we want. Big Hugs, Mary

Lynda, I have one more suggestion that may help. I found some wonderful "multi-grain" baking mix at our local Trader Joes. Multi-grain is low glycemic. There is a recipe for blueberry coffee cake on the side of the box. I use 2 egg whites for the egg in the recipe (lowers the fat), substitute Splenda for the sugar (1 cup Splenda = 1 cup Sugar) so no sugar in the recipe except the natural sugar in blueberries. It is easy to make, tastes great and would be so much better than a donut. PLUS it would be filling and keep you more satisfied than the donut. It also should freezer easily in individual servings for use as needed. Hal loves this coffee cake too. Mary

to go along with what mary said I know in my area there are overeaters anon. groups which are basically like AA but for people who overeat. I went to them years ago and they were great...Im sorry you feel like thi but you arent alone. I struggle everyday. thats why we are here!! sarah

I can SO relate to everything you said! I was steady at 193 for months maybe even a year and very happy there. Then I bounched up and down 3 to 5lbs. Now I weigh 208. Wholly crap it's freaking me out. I feel like a bottomless pit especially during "that time of month". This has been going on for the last 3 months. I don't exercise and really need too especially since I will be walking the Avon Breast Cancer Walk in SF in July. I know I need to train, but I don't feel like it! I just feel like sleeping and eating. I need that "click" in my head again, but I don't know where to find it. Wish I could help you....