Transformation of the Holidays... *sigh*

I'm having a real hard time this year with the holidays... Like many of "us", but definitely not all, the "holidays" for my family were always about the "big meal", not even about getting together with the family that we WEREN'T fighting with at the time (LOL)... I have sat down with this enough that I realize that I need to somehow shift this paradigm into something new, but am finding it really really hard to do. We spent the Thanksgiving holiday with my wife's aunt (which is the only close family she has left on her mother's side), so it wasn't so bad -- I wasn't the one doing the cooking, per se.. I helped, but she "was driving" so to speak. Two weeks before, I decided I wanted to do our own Thanksgiving here (wife (also RNY GB 8/03), daughter & myself), so I picked up a small (12 #) smoked turkey at a local store that was reasonably priced, and cooked it.. well, okay, heated it up I was thinking about what to have with it, then I realized that we wouldn't even have room for all the turkey, much less any of the sides... So basically, I said to myself "what's the point.." and didn't bother making anything else (stuffing, etc) up.. We ended up putting one of the breasts, both legs in the freezer, used the carcass for soup during the week and still with only the one breast, had leftovers for a few days.. Where I'm going with this, is that it didn't even feel like the holidays without the meal, and the thought of going through any holiday 'at home' without the 'holiday meal' just makes me downright depressed The other reason I didn't bother making the sides is that it would really bug me if I made all the stuff, then it ended up being tossed because we didn't or couldn't eat it before it hit the "eat by or else" date (lol, varies based on what it is, but I definitely pitch anything that's been in the fridge a week). Overall, I know I have to get over this somehow; either get used to throwing food out that could be used by the starving kids in Ethiopia (did your moms use that line on you too?) or come up with some other way to deal with it.. but for the life of me right now, short of going away every holiday, I can't "see the forest for the trees" and come up with any solution at the moment... Any of this sound familiar to anyone?

Nick, This is so familiar to me more than your know. We are the the "Thanksgiving house" we have everyone and their mother and a few new ones it seems every year. Thats how I do it I have everyone over because I love making it. However it is really hard to see them eat all the stuff before the meal, crackers & cheese, veggies and dip, chips, spinach dip... then to see them eat the actual meal. I won't lie it is almost disgusting to me. It almost hurts just to see them eat so much then eat a full meal and go for seconds no less. ugh I know this is somewhat evil of me, but instead of all the leftovers, I make sure everyone goes home with a care package, and if they try to leave with out it then I will chase them down. I let it be their problem I do have the guilt of throwing out what ever is left over or any food for that matter after ward. Its the same feeling of not cleaning your plate. Especially if you grew up poor like we did that was the biggest sin. There is no real solution to me, it seems like you did the right thing! Amy

Nick, I grew up with food being the "main event" of every get together and holiday season. It was, and still is, turkey and all the fixins at Thanksgiving and ham with all the fixins at Christmas. And don't let all of us get together without everyone bringing something to snack on. It's downright pitiful! But... I try to make the best of it. I can't ask everyone around me to change, so I had to change myself. I still have a little bite of this or that and I'm done. The only suggestion I can come up with is maybe at Christmas, you could fix the main meat with all the trimmings. When you and your family are finished with your meal, maybe you could divvy up the left overs and fix what I call "home made tv dinners" and put them in the freezer for later. There are all different kinds of plastic containers in all shapes and sizes at the grocery. Just fix them up and label them with what they contain. I think they'll keep in the freezer for up to 6 months. I believe this time of the year is the hardest for us with tiny tummies. Especially when we've grown up with food being the center of every event. Its hard to just up and change something thats ingrained in us. I wish you and your family a happy holiday season. Wanda

Nick, We still do holiday meals ... but years ago I discovered that we didn't need or want the quantity so haven't made a traditional meals in years. I try to make a variety of foods that all can enjoy without going overboard in the process. Not always easy. There are so many things you can make that taste good, are sugar free, low carb too. I hope you find a solution that works for you too. Mary