As the hunger returns...

Hi all, I have watched and listened to everyone, choosing just to lurk quietly since my surgery. I almost feel like I know some of you pretty well just by reading your words from the heart. I now find myself compelled to write. I have lost 225 pounds, and have now stayed at the same weight for quite awhile. I had many complications after my surgery which almost took my life. I thought of those hard times as an extra kick in the behind to make this surgery a success. Until recently, I have not really even experimented with new food. I have never eaten any sugar since my surgery, and I have limited myself to the amounts that I am supposed to have. Recently though, I find myself experiencing hunger again. I am also eating slightly larger amounts of food. I still eat off of a pie plate, and watch what food I eat, but I am finding myself afraid. I don't want to gain the weight back that I almost died to loose. It's just that food is creeping back into my life. Does anyone else experience this fear, and if so what do you do to control it. I have been getting sick lately when I haven't done that for awhile. I think that I am just eating too fast because I am hungry and not chewing like I should. This causes that nasty feeling that we have all felt. Does anybody have any suggestions or advice? I am hungry and afraid!! Anyway, thanks for listening and for all your wonderful words in the past. Best, Amy

Yes, Yes, and yes. I do have the feelings and fears. I get hungry and I really fear that. I don't want to go backwards so everyweek I weigh myself and 160 is my h limit so if I get to it or near it I focus on what I eat the next week and really eat my protein and eat like I did right after surgery. I also write everything down, BLT everything you Bite Lick and Taste. Another thing I try to do is plan my meals but life happens and times I forget or get too tired to cook so I order out or snack, which is a no no. I feel weak when I eat take out and I don't want to be 324lbs again. And I understand what you say about eating fast the mistake we all make is we think oh the pouch has healed then we don't chew like we are supposed to. I still wait 15 minutes before and 20 minutes after eating to drink. My husband took pictures of me in the hospital and I look at them because I don't want to have to go through that again. They and my scar are my reminders of what I went through to get here. Annette

Amy ~ first of all, congratulations on your amazing weight loss. Not a day goes by when I close my eyes I can see myself at over 350 pounds. I am reminded by pictures and some clothes that still hang in my closet. I remember how I felt and how I looked. I remember that right after surgery the weight fell off me. I still eat on a pie plate as well and eat pretty much anything. I am back to sugar. I am more afraid because I don't follow the rules (no lecture, please). I am pregnant now too, which seems like a free pass to eat. I have carefully only gained 8 pounds and am over half way there. I love how I look and how I feel and how my husband looks at me. Other people see me now too. I am the same person, just with a healthier body. I have no philosophical words of wisdom or strength for you....just know you are not alone. You look great, by the way. Cheers, Denise

Amy, I thought I was the only one out here. I am going through the exact same thing. I work so much it is hard to be "good" all the time. I do have some "hungry days" where no matter what I eat I feel hungry. Then I have days that I only eat because I know I haven't. I do not wait to drink. I have always had a drink when I eat. I am afraid that is going to be my down fall. If I get that way, hungry I try to snack on a protein bar or some cheese and lunch meat. Good luck! Delainya 321/150

We all think we are alone in our feelings when a board like us shows us how many people are in our shoes.......I to get the hunger pains......and I to am scared to death to gain any weight back..i have gone from 362 to 170 and i cant imagine gaining it back....my problem is i have myself so psyched i think that food is still so impossible..everytime i eat i feel sick and i have to wonder if it is all in my head......I to have found that I can eat foods now that arent healthy for me...and I dont get enough protein but at the same time I keep reminding myself where I came from. I had a problem recently with not being able to sleep so in the middle of the night i found myself eating the wrong foods just because i was bored..i gained 6 pounds..I FREAKED out!!!!!! I have now lost 5 of those pounds in about a weeks time and I refuse to ever let myself do it again..I like many others out here just need to learn how to do it the healthy way because it is way to easy to do without food now..which is not good for us either... You have come a long way, just always remember that! Tina

Oh Amy, I just got done reading your profile, and I will tell you it hit home more than you know. I also had very similar complications to yours as my blood went septic and I was in a coma for 5 weeks. Basically my stomach filled up with fluid and ruptured shutting down all of my organs. You can read my profile for all the gory details but that is not the reason I am responding to you. I just recently had my hernia repair and they did remove some skin, and it went really well. As I was reading your profile, I completley understand your phobia's. Boy did I have them, but I faced so many fears and you know what, I am really ok! Even though I know I shoudn't be here today, and I feel incredible guilt on why I was able to stay and others had to go during that time, I am still very supportive of this surgery. People don't understand why, and it is really hard to explain the lesser of 2 evils. I just live! I live for today, I live for my family and I live because I got a second chance whether I deserve it or not. I am going to try and not screw it up I really do stop and smell every rose (literally and it really irritates people) I look even deeper into others eyes and you can see so much when you do that. I listen to peoples stories a little longer, and I hug a little tighter and I could just go on, but I think you know how I feel. No I wasn't an evil person before that never appreciated anything, it is just on such a different level now. As far as the eating goes, you are not alone. Truthfully, I was never great at the protein shake thing, and there remained a little bit of a rebel in me, so I get my protein from food. I still to this day eat proteins first and then bites of the rest. This surgery is almost like Pavlovs conditioning. I am not perfect, I have bad days. I constantly fight with the snacking, because crackers go down real easy and seem to settle my stomach and yes, I can tolerate sugar (darn it!) I just really try to stay away from it, truthfully I don't always do that. But all in all, my eatings habits have still drastically changed and for the most part I don't eat the way I used to. Be proud of the good days you have, fix the bad ones and make them better! Thank you for posting, I hope this finds you well, and I wish you even more success in the future! Amy (Thats right I am an Amy too )