So, I've been awfully busy lately... (long)

Hi guys, Just wanted to chime in my 2 cents worth these days. I do try to come and see what's going on with you all, but I rarely take the time to post. Things in Montana have been VERY busy for me this semester. I've been taking 2 classes (on my own time), working until 7 so I can get my 40 hrs in, getting to the gym every work morning by 6:30, making sure my son isn't dead or dying (he's 19 and I think I worry more now than I did when he was 5), getting a race in once a month or so, and trying to buy my first home (at age 39!). So, I finished my last final today and have another day or two to finish a paper, then I'm done with school for about a year. I'm very relieved and am taking the time to post. This past year with surgery and everything else happening, I think we've all come to terms with a lot of different things in our lives that we used to think of as road blocks but feel we can overcome nearly anything anymore. So I have been recently reminded that other people have been waiting on me to make some decisions so they know what to do, and in my self-analyses, I've come to some conclusions: 1) I'm the only one I can please or make happy 2) If I'm happy, other people see it - and vice versa 3) In some way shape or form, I choose the direction I go. By choosing not to choose, the result is that I choose for someone else to decide (still making the choice), but they rarely do. 4) When I make decisions, other people can better plan their lives. I say these things because I feel like I've been in limbo for a while. At first I was waiting until I lost weight and reached some semblance of a goal before I made some other life choices. Then it became more important to wait for input from my husband about what he wanted (which he doesn't really have - says he can be happy nearly anywhere). Then I was trying to have other people validate what I wanted (which never works). As some of you may know I was looking into working on a PhD project where I work. As it turns out, fire science is losing scientist positions and I will have a hard time getting a job when I get done. This was really the excuse/logic behind making the real decision. So this is the deal I've made. I'm going to try to get into law school here in the town I live in. I've thought about it many times over the years abd there have always been excuses as to why I shouldn't instead of convincing myself that I should because it's what I wanted. That being said, I promised to be here for 4 years (one while I get application materials together and take the LSAT, and 3 in school). My husband wouldn't agree to buy a house until I decided what I was going to do and where although he never said that in so many words. So about a month ago, my husband said that we should get loan applications in so we know how much we can afford. Then we found the house we wanted, and are closing June 2! I totally understand Mary's excitement about having her new home built. Although our house is just going to be new to us and needs some updating, it's the first time I've ever been able to say that this is my house. I know I probably lost most of you in the second paragraph, but I truly appreciate the support all of you have given over the past year+ and just felt the need to ramble on about what's going on in my life. You all take care, and I really do think kind thoughts for you all often. Linn

Linn, I'm so excited for you!!!!! Whether the house is new or resell, it is a "new" home for you and your family. That is wonderful. If we had stayed in CA, new would of never been an option. Our home there was 40+ years old, but we loved it and cared for it over the years. This home will be the first home we ever bought together. Hal bought the home in CA a few years before we met and married. What do you hope to do with your law degree? Will you become an attorney or ??? I think it is wonderful that you are pursueing something you truly want to do. How awesome and how exciting too. I haven't worked for almost a year now. Planning to take the summer off and while goofing off this summer decide what I want to do --- go to school, go to work, work from home (I use to have an internet based business -- gift shop when we lived in CA). So I do understand indecision and sometimes hoping that others would make the decision for me. I feel kind of in limbo. When we moved here I was going to look for work immediately, then Hal found a good job so I didn't need to. Mom was going to move in with us, but I could still work. When she became weaker, she would live with us and I would stay home to help her. Then she got so sick just before coming here and then passed away ... so now I need to refocus on what I really want to do. Some days I feel a bit lost about it cause now I really am not sure what I want to do. I'm so happy that you found your answers and what great ones they are. Happy new house. Happy new career to you. Hugs, Mary

Linn, I'm glad you're doing well. Congratulations on getting your new home. That is exciting and wonderful news. Owning your own home is such a good feeling. Just be ready to sign your name about a zillion times on closing day. I can't imagine staying as busy as you stay. I bet when you run, it's a great time to get your thoughts together. I've tried running and just can't seem to get used to it. I'm probably not disciplined enough. I am in awe of you... staying so busy and wanting to possibly get your law degree. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do. Thanks for letting us know what you're up to. I've been missing seeing you around here lately. Take care.........Wanda