Does anyone feel guilty?

Hello Julia, One of my dearest friends before I had wls came to me three weeks ago asking questions about my surgery.Now let me say we were really close before I had wls.I was around 340 and she was about 300.Every week as I became smaller she an I drifted apart.We work together as well.She has been out on medical leave for about 6 months and like I said 3 weeks ago she starts calling me asking questions and tells me she is going to have wls.She invited me out to lunch with her an her husband.So when I get there I see her and she must weigh a good 400 plus pounds.We were in a booth an she looked stuffed in and hanging out everywhere.Her husband was very concerned about the wls and he hadnt seen me since my wls. My heart was breaking for her because I still remember how It feels to be so heavy. I could see how desperately she wanted to lose the weight.I was so happy to be able to provide them both with answers.Her husband said he felt better about her having wls now that he has seen me and we've talked about it.She kept saying doesnt she look great, her husband said he'd of never recognized me on the street. Anyway we connected again we had been chatting online and calling each other everyday since.I see her online and say hello about 3 days ago and she blows me off.I was hurt and I asked her if something was wrong later that day on the phone.She gets this really sarcastic tone and tells me her insurance doesnt cover wls. So I told her there are many different things she could do to get it covered and she just blurts out " I will lose it the old fashion way, you took the easy way out"It hurt me but I know its just that she is jealious and miserable so I will give it a few days and try again.Offer to go walking with her or something if she blows me off again then that will be that. My mom makes comments all the time too now about how fat she is and its not fare that I am smaller than her now( jokingly)yet I know that she really does feel like that now.I try not to feel guilty because this by know means was the easy way out an I have worked hard to get where I am today. I will probally have a tummy tuck around October if I can get the finally 25 pounds off I want to lose. So yes I do feel guilty sometimes because I remember how I felt being super morbidly obese.I just keep positive and try not to talk about wls much anymore. Take Care Trisha

Let me start by saying how much I love the new picture! I can't beleive it's you...you're so cute. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I've had much the same experience with a couple of friends I once did a weight loss program with. One just never mentions my weight loss - like it didn't occur. And the other has dropped me altogether. She recently told someone how glad she was that after the weight-loss group ended, the friendships remained close. I was shocked that she had said that since she hasn't spoken to me directly in over 6 months. She's regained some of her weight and the only thing she said to me was that she wishes she could just gain 100 pounds and then SHE would qualify for WLS. I discouraged that, of course. I get tired sometimes, of being expected to be everyone else's cheerleader when they lose 20-40 lbs., and then have no one acknowledge the change in me. I'm like you and just don't talk it much at all unless someone else brings it up. Oh well...it's their problem. Still in all, I wouldn't change a thing. I'm grateful that my insurance covered WLS, and I'd do it again tomorrow. The pros are so much greater than the downsides.

Great post Julie. I've been so busy lately and rarely on the boards, but I thought I'd answer this one. I have many days of feeling guilty about the weight loss. I know my parents and sister need to lose weight. My mom has truly been working out a lot lately and I'm excited to see her soon. She started back into running after I did and is starting to train again. My folks used to run a lot years ago and were in much better health at that time. My sister never really got into any exercise activities. It never hurt her until she had an apendectomy. She never regained her shape after that and I think just gave up trying. I was always the fat one, now I'm the skinny one. My family doesn't ever say much, but that's fine with me. I don't need them to say anything. I rarely think of the surgery anymore except when someone refers me for information about it. I guess what I feel bad about is that I'm able to a lot of the things that they only wish they could do. Take Care, Linn