Just needed to dump!!

Hi to all, I havn't posted in awhile. I hope everyone is doing good. I have gone back to my old eating habits with the exception of everything is now sugar-free. I have been alittle depressed since the plastic surgeon told me that my insurance won't pay for anything. Not only that I just "celebrated" I use that term loosely, For my birthday my fiancee' moved out. Been engaged for 3 months. And that's what I got. Still don't know why--he won't talk to me. I am trying to keep up a brave face to my children and at work but this sucks!! Any suggestions to help me back on track with my eating? It doesn't help that I have reached my goal so I decided to set a new goal figuring that would help me get back on track but it isn't working. Anyway, Just needed to dump "complain" thanks for letting me. Delainya 321/160/160?? 150

Delainya, Sending you lots of hugs. It is hard when a relationship ends and you have no answer as to why. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself. Sounds like it is his issues, not yours. Unfortunately some significant others can handle the changes we go thru after WLS even tho these changes are for the better. Someone wrote that if there was a weight loss of over 100 lbs that most insurance companies would pay for reconstructive surgery NOT plastic surgery. Most make the mistake of coding it as plastic surgery instead of reconstructive. plasticsurgery.org/medical_professionals/publications/loader.cfm?url=/commonspot/security/getfile.cfm&PageID=7119 (add http://www. to the beginning to make the link work) -- you may need to copy and paste because of the ? in it. Keep your mind busy ... do you do crafts, have a hobby, etc? All those type of things help to make us feel better. When we feel better and are occupied, we don't seem to graze, etc. Make your goad small steps. How about today the goal is to get in all your fluids and exercise. Do that for a week. Then add to the goal - like making protein the number one choice when getting something to eat or that if you have the munchies, you will grab a SF snow cone to munch/crunch on. Mary

Aw, Delainya, so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. The end of a relationship is a very hard time...it brings us to our knees at times re-playing each moment together to piece together where it all fell apart and why. Please don't be too quick to blame yourself. If he never talks about it, there is very little you can do. In the long run, ending it now was probably better than to wait until after you get married. Sorry you are going through this now. Mary gives lots of good advice on how to get back on track. Your emotions are winning out now, so take it easy and be good to yourself. You deserve it. Denise

Delainya...I am so sorry you are having a difficult time. It is soo hard to deal with multiple stressors especially if you've been an emotional eater. It was plain mean for your fiance to leave on your birthday leaving you with no clue as to why he was leaving. Sounds like you can do better. As my dad would say there are more fish in the sea. You have had a wonderful weight loss of 161 pounds. WOW. Congratulations. It's hard to believe that with such a great loss that insurance won't cover reconstruction of some type. How many plastic surgeons have you consulted. It doesn't hurt to have several consults and get different opinions. You just might need to pick the surgeon that can word things differently. Don't give up. It is very difficult getting back on track. I have been struggling too. What upsets me is when friends/family are no longer supportive. They think that because my body is thinner that I have no problems any more. I'm the same person in a smaller body trying to learn how to cope without food. Will your insurance pay for counciling (sp) for eating disorders or inadequate coping? I wish you well and hope that you can pull yourself back on track soon. Don't be afraid to ask for help by a professional. I think I am going to do the same. Paula

Delainya - I am so sorry to hear that about the end of your relationship. It must be so difficult for you right now. Although I am experiencing different challenges, I have also been depressed lately and I've found myself gravitating towards food for comfort. It's like the old 'fat girl' inside of me was just waiting for her chance to come back. Before I could cause any more damage to myself, I went back to my therapist. For some reason when I lost the weight, I (and everyone around me) thought that I was 'cured'. Far from it. I still have the same problems --- I just need to learn new ways to cope. I realize that sometimes I need to ask for help --- and to find a new way to deal with problems aside from food. Take care of yourself... sometimes you need to ask for help. (My doctor has also put me on a short-term anti-depressant.) It's OK to ask for help. ~Lynn 295/160 -135 pounds