One year...my thoughts (long)

Well, today is my one year anniversary. My, how time flies, yet it still seems like the surgery was so long ago! I think back and realize that there seemed to be different phases in this journey. I wonder if there are still more to come. Thinking back, I think the first phase lasted about 3 months. I had no appetite at all. Zilch....nadda. This was the phase where I learned that I could in fact live a happy life without stuffing myself. I learned quick that I could not tolerate sweets and that I'd better chew everything to a pulp or it was going to come back up! This is also the phase in which I learned that my pouch was up there close to my heart. The first time I didn't chew my food as well as I should, I thought I was having a heart attack! I remember the first of these episodes happened about 5 weeks after my surgery. I had to travel to San Antonio for work. I was there with quite a few people from all over the country for a week long class. We all went to lunch together daily. I tried my best to get my protein in and one day had terryaki chicken. I apparently didn't chew enough! Throughout the rest of the day, something just wasn't right. That evening, we all went out to dinner together. I don't remember what I ordered, but I do remember I didn't touch it. The longer I looked at it, the more nauseated I got. I excused myself from the table and headed straight to the ladies room. This ladies room was the nastiest, dirtiest, filthiest restroom I had ever seen! There was no way I was going get sick there! I must have looked pretty bad (and believe me, I was miserable) when I came back to the table because one of the ladies I was with said she would walk with me back to the hotel. I really didn't want her to because I just didn't know if I was going to make it without getting sick to my stomach, but she insisted. We had almost made it back to the hotel before I got sick. There's a bush somewhere near the Riverwalk of San Antonio that, shall I say, is my special bu****he lady I was with just acted like that was an every day occurrence. Bless her!! She will always hold a special place in my heart! The second phase I went through probably lasted from 3 months to 8 months. I was finally getting comfortable with my new way of eating and really never got too hungry. I was losing weight at a pretty hefty pace.......life was GOOD. I started receiving compliments from everyone! By golly....this is the way to go! Then phase three happened. I hit a plateau. What in the devil was happening to my wonderful world? Reality check Wanda! Dr. McGrath-Weaver operated on your stomach, not your head! I think this is what everyone calls the end of the honeymoon period. Its also the phase in which, for me anyway, I had to back up and regroup. I had to, and I mean HAD TO start really fighting for what I wanted more than anything in this world....to be healthy and slim. It probably took me a good 2 months to get myself in order. I started exercising regularly and really paying attention to what I was eating. This is the phase in which I realized that I was going to have to make lifelong changes. This is where I "woke up". I think I'm now in phase four. I'm back to losing weight ever so slowly. I have about 30 pounds left to lose and you know what? I don't care if it takes me another year to get to my goal because I know I'm going to get there. I feel good inside and out. I know that I'm going to have to exercise and watch what I eat for the rest of my life. I know there are going to be days when I just don't want to do what I'm supposed to do... Lord knows, I've had plenty of those days here lately. But in the whole scheme of things, I'm doing darn good! Thanks to my loving husband and two daughters for being my cheerleaders. Thanks to Dr. McGrath-Weaver for caring enough about this disease's affect on people to go through many, many years of schooling just to make a difference for us. And last but definitely not least, thanks to all of you for your wisdom and kind words! Wanda

What a great way you have of summarizing the entire year. I think you should see about getting this posted to the library they keep on this website. It's very accurate as well as encouraging. Thanks for sharing Julie

Julie, Thank you. I didn't even realize we have a library on this site. I checked it out. There is a lot of great information there. I think that when I found this site, for some reason, I only went to this board and the main message board. (And then, one day, I did find the site of our OH family that passed away. I had read a post about it and looked for it. I cried for each and every one of them!) Thank you for your reply. It is a true compliment! Wanda

Wanda, Thanks so much for sharing your journey this last year. It is amazing all the changes we all go thru. Happy Anniversary. Mary

Thanks, Mary, for your (as always) kind words! Wanda

Wanda..... What a wonderful job you did outlining the phases in year one of our weight loss journey. Your post has really helped me as I'm trying to manuveur a huge bump in the road. Last month I weighed 127 pounds which is 2 pounds from goal. I began to panic as I always do at this stage of weight loss. How will I maintain if I never could before? Well, I was living a self-fulfilling prophsey (sp) this past month, started grazing d/t anxiety and as a result weighed 132 this month. Little did I know but I am in phase three. Indeed, REALITY CHECK PAULA! You soo helped me to adjust my attitude. I am working now on regrouping. I am going to fight to be healthly and slim too. Since your post I have renewed my commitment to myself. You woke me up gently. I love your attitude soo much, it is so positive. I taped this post to my bedroom mirror because as Julia said it is very encouraging and accurate. At the start of the day and the end of the day I read it again to encourage me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Congratulations on your weight loss and positive mindset. May you lose the rest of your weight as you wish. Paula :wave

Thank you for your kind words, Paula. When I posted, I was truly speaking from the heart. I think that's why my post was so long. Tears came to my eyes when I read your reply. It means soo much to me to know that my words touched you in such a way. YOU have done so well!!! YOU are an inspiration!!! And I thank you.... Wanda

It's rather therapeutic to spill our hearts on paper (uh, the keyboard). I've been having similar thoughts that you have captured so well. It sounds like you've got a great attitude and a fabulous support system. Keep up the good work. I'm cheering for you. Denise

Thanks, Denise. My family has been such great support for me. That really does make a difference! BTW: You look GREAT!!! Wanda