Re-birthday creeping up next week.

Next wednesday, the 16th, will be a year for me. Happy re-birthday everyone! I posted a few weeks ago about worrying about my eating habits and the fear of gaining weight back. Since then I have been having terrible anxiety attacks and depression has really kicked in big time. I have gone to my psychiatrist and got on some meds for both the anxiety and depression. I'm feeling better now. Before the meds kicked in, I was eating REALLY badly! Back to my old self...found myself eating a full bag of microwave butter popcorn and I bought a box of Chocolate Fudge Pop Tarts and ate two packages of them in one sitting. At work I would eat a whole box of Mike & Ike's and some Nestle Crunch bite size bags. All other kinds of bad stuff. I decided yesterday that today I'm going back to basics - soups, protein shakes, water, broths, sf popsicles, jello. I'm going to do this for a week so I can hopefully start dumping if I go back into sugar mode again. I'm thinking with the combination of my meds and my re-birthday and the thoughts and rememberences of being 350 lbs will kick in my will power and give up that bad sh*& that I've been putting into my belly. I'm finding myself more tired than I was a month or two ago. I'm also finding I have diarrhea a LOT lately. So far today I've had a cup of cream of celery soup. A Slim Fast Low Carb Chocolate Royale shake and 20 oz of water so far. I went grocery shopping this morning and I bought my partner food for the week. He's a sugarholic too and it's hard for me to know that all the foods that I am addicted to are sitting in the pantry. I cannot throw them out because I can't force my necessities and bad habits on him. I am strong and have will power and can get back into my healthy good habits. I can and I will!!!!!!

Jody, Sending you hugs and positive thoughts. You sound like you really have gone thru a tough time, but are working hard to get thru it and come out a victor. If you are having lots of diahhrea it could be a result of the sugar and eating improperly... a form of dumping. If I eat a higher level of sugar than normal I know I get extremely tired too. HOWEVER just in case, if these continue, be sure to check with your doctor to be sure nothing is wrong. My husband eats lots of sugar items. Normally I do OK with them in the house but once in a while they become too much. When that happens I asked him to put them in his office at home (he works from home) so that they are not staring me in the face. Please discuss with your partner your problems with high sugar foods right now and see what you can do as a team to get you thru this. Retraining your body to dump again takes a couple of weeks from what I have been told. Remember we are here for you. Mary

Jody, I too have a SO who HAS to have sweets around. It is also extremely difficult for me to stay out of it. One thing I've done, though, is put my own 'treats' in front of his so I'm more apt to stay out of it. I've been trying to buy more fruit and less cookies, so that helps as well. You're right, you ARE strong and DO have all the willpower you need. You've come so far in your journey to not make your eating habits a priority at this point. We're all rooting for you here, and a lot of us are seeming to have some of the same issues with our relative addictions. I think the only thing keeping me in check these days is my exercise schedule and the fact that I'm pretty sure I suffer from a later form of dumping if my lunch meal has too many carbs. I think we are all still doing a little bit of learning about how to continue with the lessons we've learned to this point. Turning our surgeries into long-term success stories by continuing the good habits we've tried to get into. I believe you will overcome. Linn

Thanks for sharing Jody. You never know when something you write is what someone else needs to hear. I've been significantly more tired lately and hadn't even recognized that how much my sugar intake had crept up until I read it in your posting and gave it some hard, honest thought. (I'm also a Pop tart junkie (brown sugar cinnamon) and cannot have them in the house!) You're sure not the only one dealing with these types of issues. Food will alwalys be my "thorn in the flesh" but I'm trying hard to deal with not falling into old, familiar habits. My anniversary is Saturday and I'm up 3 pounds and feeling vulnerable. It's so reassuring to hear from others who are just pulling up their boot straps and doing what needs to be done. So am I. I'm back to pushing water, drinking the protein like I'm supposed to and cutting all snacks during the day. Here's to us all...we haven't come this far, just to fail. Julie 254/148

Hi Jody, Happy re-birthday to you. I'll be celebrating mine Friday. This year has just flown by! I too have to deal with having to buy food for the family that I know I should not eat. It is just so hard to stay out of it. My problem is wanting them, and I mean badly wanting them, in the evenings. This was my problem before surgery and I know I'm going to have to fight this the rest of my life. There are some evenings I can resist and some I cannot. Here lately, its been more that I cannot. I do try to exercise (which is somewhat like torture to me) to offset my discretions. Thank you for sharing. Its nice to know I'm not alone and that we all are fighting the snack deamon! Wanda

Oh Jody. I too have been very anxious, especially this last month. Thank you for bringing up your increased depression and anxiety. I do believe I need an anti-anxiety med to help me for a while too. I have a long term h/o depression. My anti-depressants help to correct the chemical imbalance in my brain. My good friend, (my good ex-friend) food used to help me cope with anxiety however. I cannot get myself back on track of 3 meals a day, without snacks. I have been grazing all day just like a cow. I have gained 7 pounds this last month alone. My choices have not been bad. Oh no, I somehow gained 7 pounds on appropriate healthy foods. My daughter and I live together and we've both had wls and we both gain weight by just looking at certain foods!! I know my anxiety is d/t my extreme fear of failure. I was 2 pounds away from goal last month and I just panicked. I have never been able to maintain before and I'm soo afraid of failing once again. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you are feeling upset. I know it has helped me to know that others are feeling the same way. You are right you will get back into good habits and I will too. Good luck to us all!! Paula

Hey Guy; Happy Birthday! Does not seem possible huh? I am sorry you are struggling right now,keep the chin up and remember that healthy is so much better. I am doing fine. I am down 160 pounds so far and only have like 15 more to go. Back at the gym after having incisional hernia repair in December. That was much worse than the bariatric! Oh my go**** hurt so bad. I am in a 34 pant now and share my partners' shirts. It has been a huge adjustment for him. We still should get together. Craig in Frisco