Am I wrong?

i posted this on the main board also but wanted to get the opinion of my friends on the February board as i suspect some of you may be going through the same thing with the appetite/smell returning....Let me know what you think. POST: With the holiday season here people are baking goodies and bringing them in to the office. I have no problems with this....but they set the cookies/cakes/etc on the filing cabinet right outside of my cube. The first several months after surgery this didn't bother me at all. However, my sense of smell and my appetite has come back somewhat and for the last several weeks i sit at my desk smelling chocolate and other tempting smells all day...people stop outside my cube eating and talking.... I thought about it long and hard and finally asked my boss if we could move the snacks to an empty desk a little farther away. I told her that I know this is my "issue" but it was only a few more feet away for people to go to grab the snacks and I didn't think I was being unreasonable to request this. My boss didn't seem to think so either and walked out and announced that we were moving the snacks to the empty desk in order to help me out. I work in a very small office and we all get along very well...but when this was announced no one said a word...not a "yes this is fine, anyway we can help, kiss my butt.." nothing. I saw one girl (a major snack bringer) actually roll her eyes.... I have gone out of my way to not wear people out by talking about my surgery and everyone here has been very supportive in other ways... I guess it just hurts my feelings knowing that i am ******g people off over this issue. I can't help but wonder if there was a diabetic or alcoholic in the office we wouldn't be putting the sweets/booze within their reach. Was I wrong to make this request? Let me also say that I am not one who is easily offended so don't think i am being too sensitive about people's reactions. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut and let all the snackers continue to ***** about how they shouldn't be eating all this stuff and wishing they could lose weight.....AARRGGGHHHH!

You're right and should stick to your guns. You're not asking anything outrageous and you're also correct that people would be more accomodating of people's other addictions, etc. It hurts, but try not to worry about what others may say; this is your life and if you don't stand up for yourself, others will run you over. You've come too far to let them derail you now. You didn't ask them not to bring it in, just not to set it right next to your desk. Try to have some compassion for them; Remember when we used to overeat and complain about being fat at the same time? They may be whiney because they're jealous that you actually chose take control of your life. Head up! Shoulders back! Walk proud! Love you, Julie

Thanks Julie and AMEN SISTER!!! I am with you. All responses on the main board, except one, were pretty positive about the way I handled the situation. I think what is bothering me is that the food is BOTHERING ME.....it isn't so much that people might or might not be pissy about my request....it is that it ticks me off that I am still that bothered by the smell of food. I am trying so hard to build a new life that doesn't revolve around food and every time i turn around it is being stuck in my face by family members who don't understand why i don't eat anymore or why i don't want to go out to eat everytime we make a trip to the Mall or Walmart.....or tell me i need to stop losing....(i am 5'6" 1/2 and still weight between 160 and 165).... or people at work constantly wanting to have snack days and go out to lunch.... Even before the surgery I did not participate in a lot of this stuff because of cost and other reasons... so, while i know now that my request was not out of line i also know i need to work on my frustration with people who can eat and maybe don't have the food hangups that i do..... but YES the Head is up, shoulders back and i am walking proud!!!

You absolutely, positively were right in asking that it be moved. I would of done the same thing. Heck, I do the same thing at home. Hal loves M&Ms, so we have the large bags of snack packs around all the time. The ones under the cupboard don't bother me a bit, however last week I asked him to take the tupperware container of the little bags and put it in his office (he works from home). Worked out great for both of us. This way if I want a couple (meaning 2 or 3 M&M's not a couple of bags ... LOL) I have to walk into his office to get them and this causes me to pause and think before doing it. He is normally in control so having them in his office is not an issue for him. It is funny how people react. Try to ignore them, know that you have made yourself and your good health a major priority and you are sooooo worth this effort. Hugs, Mary

Thanks for the positive reinforcement! I can totally relate to you about the snacks at home. My BF has a sweet tooth but also has a very physical job so doesn't gain weight...even though he swears he has gained weight since he started seeing me from eating my leftovers....so he usually has a pan of brownies or other sweets around the house. For months it did not bother me at all...but now i notice when i am at his house i have to really stop myself from grabbing a brownie or small bag of M&Ms.... So i have asked him to put these in tupperware and hide them from me.......

I think that because we now have appetites (or at least I do), things do smell better than before and are more tempting. Some things do not bother me a bit, other things are real triggers. My brother who is over 3 years out can't to this day eat bread --- it balls up in his tummy. I can eat bread and love it (unfortunately) so if we go out to dinner and bread is brought to the table I may take some but then have Hal put it way over to the other side out of my reach. If food item is a trigger much better to have it out of reach or even better out of sight for sure. Mary

Kelly, good post. I work in a relatively small office of about 25 people. I was the only one with a serious weight problem and was recently joined by another woman who just had WLS last week. I have not made an issue about having surgery, although I'd guess that most people have noticed my weight loss and have either asked me or someone else. I do not think you were wrong in asking for a relocation of the snacks. I do think that people are ignorant and insensitive and unless they have had weight struggles they would not understand. Just roll your eyes back or ignore the ignorance. I've got too short of a fuse about this stuff. Good luck. Let them eat cake...just not in front of me! Denise

Kelly, What I probably would have done is move the snacks to the empty desk and then let the others find it there. I doubt I would've even asked, and also doubt anyone would've even said anything. It's probably just different from what they've always done in the past and some people get funny about any change of routine - especially if it is for the sake of one person. However, your boss probably shouldn't have announced that it was requested by you. That is something that would've been better off left unsaid. A simple announcement that they would be moved should have sufficed (if that was even necessary). I expect people to react badly. People just don't know how to react to people in situations like ours since it is so foreign to them. I used to get comments about not wanting to eat any of the treats that were there (we celebrate everyone's birthday here), but after I said that it'd make me sick they stopped saying anything. I really do understand your being upset, but chalk it up to bad manners. Linn

In a lot of ways, this is no different than diabetes; there's a medical condition involved, and that you have every right to ask them to move the food - and very honestly, as someone who HAD (and technically still has, since it never goes away even if it's in control) diabetes, you've done more than many have to work on solving it!!! A lot of ppl with diabetes don't even do what they're "supposed to" to control it - you've not only made the physical changes (via surgery) but are actively and proactively working on the mental discipline necessary to maintain your condition. ESPECIALLY since there is another location to move the stuff to, then I think you have every right to ask to have it moved. If there wasn't a location (we're in the middle of an expansion/reorg and right now, they've got people "double bunking" in the larger cubes), then I could see if they didn't want to move it, but since they can, I think they should and you're well within your rights to ask. Hang in there and don't let the b** get you down! ...N

Again, thanks so much for the reinforcement. You all are right that people without our issues don't know how to respond to it. I made a decision today to simply come in as my smiling laughing self and act like it is no big deal....cause in reality it probably isn't...i might have just been being paranoid because i stood up for myself. I really have got to get a new picture posted...i see all of your beautiful slender faces and wish mine was up there. i had a cd made of my most recent pics but computer at home is on the fritz and can't figure out where to save it to here at work to email to the Board mods.....the picture here now is at my highest weight of 301... Thanks all and have a blessed day! Kel