How are you really feeling?

Good morning everyone. I'm at work and I was just doing my early morning check in with our board. It's a little slow and kind of quiet. I then started wondering...why? Probably because we have all reached a slow point in weight loss with not a lot happening. We have written about our bodies, our emotions, our self-image and our families, among many other things. This is how I am feeling right now: i am hungry. I am ecstatic that the jeans I bought in September are now too big, I am wearing them now and they look great. I have baby fever in a big way. I am worried about my sister. I am so glad my husband finally painted my living room. I love him. I hope you all are finding comfort and happiness in your place in time right now. Sometimes I think we get a little stagnant. I know I do. So,what are you feeling? Denise

Hi Denise, I think you're right about not much happening and really we are just busy living our lives. We know how and what to eat, and those things aren't at the forefront of our minds anymore. I was trying not to post first, but it seems no one else has yet, and I need a bit of an outlet. Today I am very sad and very tired. I found out last night that my sister had a miscarriage and then I had to prepare an assignment that was due this morning. It was hard to concentrate so I ended up staying up way too late and getting up early just so I could finish. I called her late this morning and we talked and bawled for about an hour and a half. This is her second miscarriage and they don't yet know why. An interesting note, though, she asked me if I would be willing to be a surrogate for her if she finds she's not able to carry a baby to term. I think she's going to try once or twice more, though. She's 40 so she's high risk anyway. The only other thing to consider, though, is I'm 38 and would also be high risk. The only difference is I've had a child. Even though I was only 19 at the time, I've still carried a child to term My husband is away for the weekend and I just didn't want to go anywhere this time. I need some time to just relax, and I'm going to take advantage of that. Nothing HAS to get done, and I might even do some shopping for fun. It's so much nicer when I don't have to rush after work. So I'm sitting here alone in my apartment this evening and Frosty the Snowman is on and I'm remembering all those years I sat with her and watched the holiday shows. I still love watching them because they bring back the good memories of my sister and I when we were kids. Sorry to be a downer, but this is how I'm feeling today. Sometimes life is just plain hard. I am thankful, though, that I have the ability to go for a run and get rid of some stress. I'd be lost without my runs these days and I am so thankful I am able to now. So good for clearing the mind. Take Care, Linn

Linn, My heart goes out to your sister. Such a sad time for her (and you too). You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Mary

Thanks Mary, I did my first LONG run today (70 minutes), sat in the hot tub for a while after, and so I'm feeling a lot better. I called my mom and she said the conversation with my sister yesterday really did make her feel better. I was hoping it would. As much as we fought as kids, we're really pretty close. For the rest of you reading, I'll add to my previous post. I can almost say that I feel like any other person in the world. I seldom worry about how I'm perceived by how I look, I can do so much more than I ever thought I'd be able to do, and honestly seldom think about what or how to eat. I still sometimes think I can eat more than I can (like at thanksgiving dinner), but I am quickly reminded when to stop. So I can't stuff myself anymore, who cares? That's never been what the holidays are about to me. As for the hard things in life, I do think it's easier for me to cope than it was before. I have a much better outlet now - exercise - and I'm very happy about being able to do the things I do. I also like not being underestimated anymore. No one looks at me like I'm incapable, and I don't get ignored like I used to. My life truly has been improved by this surgery and has helped me be a 'normal' person again. Linn

Denise, I'm here too. Just have been busy with friends visiting, getting ready for the holidays, life in general. So not as much time on the computer as before. I'm feeling great. I've been going up and down 3 lbs the last few weeks, but this week got back on track with more protein, protein, protein. As of this morning am at a new low weight and have lost 122 lbs!!!! (50 before surgery, 72 since). It is fun and frustrating to look for clothes. Never know what size to pick up to try on. But usually can find something that I feel looks good. We are still in our rental home and will be here until March or April. I'm getting anxious for our new home to be finished and get settled in. It has been so much colder here in AZ than I imagined (down in the 30s at night) but the days are nice even if colder. Have been on the go a great deal. Each weekend we get out and visit new sites. There is so much to see and do. So life has been busy, hectic, fun, stressful but it has been wonderful. I can walk, I can ride a bike, I can do things like never before. I feel so blessed. No more meds except vitamins, no more sleep apnea or CPAP. Yep, life is good. Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season. Mary

Hello everyone, I don't normally respond on the boards, I am more of a "reader" than a "writer", but everyone for our month looks so great! I have lost 124 pounds and I feel wonderful! I want loose another 35 pounds...I have to pinch myself sometimes - it just doesn't seem possible that I have truly lost that much weight. I do feel guilty - I don't do the things I should now that I have been given this great new tool. I don't get enough protein, I don't exercise, and I eat lots of carbs (because they are the only things that make my new tummy feel good). I do drink diet soda as well. Just started taking vitamins. But as I reflect on where I was last year at this time, I was feeling absolutely terrible. My legs hurt, I was out of breathe just walking, I couldn't get on the floor and play with my daughter and I hated to see myself in the mirror. So I have to say that God has truly blessed me during this experience. Good luck to all of you has you continue to reach your goal and as we come up on our one year birthday celebration.

HI! been to busy lurking just lately because its been crazy at my house since i left work. I am doing really well. I am down to my goal weight and my doctor told me to stop losing weight now. I am in a size4/6 which i dint even know was ou there! I feel very healthy, i am happy staying home and am getting ready to start college for culinary. i am flying out to CA to see my son who is in the Corps. We are spending christmas with himand i am going to count his fingers and toes since he was ini falujah. I hope everyone has a healthy and happy holiday. Stay focused kelly

Linn, I am so sorry for your sister. Hopefully God will bless her with a baby. Carrying her child would be the most selfless thing you ever did. Thankfully you have such a close relationship with your sister. That is really a gift. You take care. Paula

Kelly, Please give your son a hug from me and thank him for serving his country in the Corps to keep us safe. I as a mother of 3 boys would be terrified if they had to go to Irac(sp?). You must have been soo scared with him in Falujah. Have a blessed Christmas with him and your family. Paula PS Culinery school sounds so neat. Have fun.

Hi Denise, What a great post. It's good to sit and think about the positives in life. This is how I am feeling right now: I feel hunger and I feel fullness. I am happy that I fit comfortably in size 12 Lee jeans. I am thrilled to wear brand name jeans for "normal" people in a "normal" store. Bye, bye Lane Bryant. I am happy that I could give away all my stretch pants sizes 28 - 20. I am happy for my first grandson Tyler, and how perfect he is. I am cold, always. Just ordered long johns! I love my daughter, son, daughter in law, and grandson. I am glad that my baby blue & gold macaw fits in so well with the other birds. Right now I am aggravated at my ****atoo b/c he wants attention and I want to do this! Bless you, Paula