comments

I've been reading everyone's post for a looong time and I guess it's time to chime in. With Thanksgiving, I will be seeing family that I haven't seen for a long time and who don't know about my surgery. I get very strange (sometimes angry) about the comments that I hear now all the time. "Where is the rest of you?" ect. Mostly I'm honest, but in public places, or with those I know to be judgemental, I don't choose to tell. One woman I came clean with I later heard making the comment about losing weight the old fashion way-by working at it. We all know how much work is involved with WLS. At 134 and a size 8 I'm thrilled. The sagging skin and little boobs, well, you can't gain and lose that much without paying for it somehow. It's too bad that the weight comes off from the face down but boy isn't it great when you get to the hips! What is there to say to "skin and bones" remarks, except to stick out your tongue like a three year old? And how do you visit the buliemic (spell?) relative who goes into a depression whenever we see each other? Really, the holidays shouldn't have to be an emotional roller coaster. I want to reflect on blessings and giving thanks.

Hi Kim, I just read your profile, and want you to know I feel the same about running. I don't run outside, but really enjoy it at the gym. I was doing 3-5 mi before gall bladder surgery and now am running 3 and trying to increase my speed a little every other week. I want to do my next 10K in 45 minutes. I also have a lot of people ask me how I lost weight, but I am so matter-of-fact about it and about why the NIH sees surgery as the only method that actually works, that I rarely have anyone tell me I took the "easy way out". Most people also know that I exercised a lot before having surgery and they also know nothing else worked. They see what I can do now and are very happy for me. Some are a little jealous, but mostly they are all supportive. As for my family, I was always the fat one. My sister was a little upset that I got smaller than her, but if she truly cared that much, she'd change her lifestyle. My mom gained quite a bit of weight with menopause and has thought about surgery, but doubt that she will. They don't care what size I end up, they just care that I'm healthy and happy. Mom and Dad started exercising when I told them I was running, though, and I find that people use me as a bit of a springboard to do things better for themselves. Hell, if she can do it, why can't I? Please remember that the people who have a problem with your weight loss or your size have as much trouble with body dymorphia as you do. They can't really see you as you are yet. The changes have been too rapid. All I can say is try not to let the comments get to you. People don't know what to do or say when such big changes are made in such a short time and often have the inability or lack the desire to bite their tongues. It's not your fault, it's their inability to see you how you are instead of how they think you should be. Nothing you can do about it, so really try to let it go. I know, easier said than done, but you have no control over what another thinks or says. Just be happy with your success and continue to enjoy your runs! No one can take that away from you with a few little words. Linn

Linn, you are so wise. I agree with what you say and find it hard to accept compliments and respond to curious questions. I don't think my head has caught up to my body yet. I guess what it all boils down to it this: I alone chose to have surgery!!!!! I alone was the one putting food into my mouth!!!!!!! I don't have to answer to anyone!!!!!! I've gotten comfortable saying, none of your business!