Rotten Co-workers

I am soooo angry! I have been at goal for a few weeks, something I am so proud of. Today, my boss informed me that she had been told by another busybody that "people" are concerned about me. (People...but everyone is anonymous). She then told me that the general concencus is that I look like I am about to be put in a wheelchair, and I have gone to the "other side". What does any of that really mean??? And what is "the other side"?? I am 5 feet 4 inches, and weigh 137 pounds. That is a COMPLETELY NORMAL weight. In fact, my surgeon was pleased, when I saw him a few weeks back. I tell you, that comment really took the wind out of my sail, and had me crying. Why do people have to be such a#&holes??? What a terrible thing to say, and even worse to repeat it back to me. There is nothing like feeling that everyone is about you.... As a human being, I would have never told someone that. My boss said that she was concerned and worried. She also threw this one in "You look terrible, too thin!" After I left, and calmed down, I had an Instead of being I just will off the ignorance and ignore. After all, these people are not the world's authority on weight management and bariatric surgery. Next time, it will be this: Thanks for the vent Andrea

Hi Andrea! Congratulations on achieving your goal. I've been in the same situation at work. When I had a virus a few weeks ago and missed 4 days of work, the rumor went around that I was having "tummy" trouble and there were a lot of "I told you so" comments made. Even people I thought might understand my pre-surgical situation have basically dumped me. But I don't care, because I feel GREAT. I only have 40 more pounds to my goal weight and so many good things have been happening to me. I'm proud of my surgical scar and I show it off every chance I get. It's my "Stripe of Honor" for the rest of my life. Take care and don't let the bad guys get you down. Vent any time! Barb H.

Thanks, Barb... I had to shake my head when I read your post; it is actually sad that people (adults, no less) have absolutely nothing else better to do that talk nonsense. Although it makes me angry, I feel bad for them. I am glad I am not as shallow. Andrea

Hey Andrea, At my 6-month appointment this is one of the things my surgeon warned me about. Just remember that people for so many years saw you differently and just can't get over how you are now. Let it go. They just don't know any better. You and your docs are the only ones you need to be concerned about. As long as you remain healthy, let them say what they will. Linn

You are right. It is good to hear that some surgeons discuss this. I called mine today, and got his nurse. I think I just needed reassurance, if you know what I mean. Like you said, people are not used to it. I said that at work yesterday. This is a normal weight, but abnormal to see on me. Something like that, anyway, but you get the point. I guess it goes back to how you were raised. I was raised to say "if you can't say something nice...." Andrea

I also have been getting these comments... but not from my co-workers(I do childcare) but from my relatives!!! I go home for the weekend and everyone is saying "don't loose anymore weight". I am 5'8" and currently at 160. I have been maintaining this weight for about 2 months now. But I am still getting comments, that each time they see me I look skinnier and need to stop. I have just learned to ignore it as well. I know I am healthy and not underweight at all. On the brighter side I went to maurices last night and put on a pair of 7-8 jeans!!! I was so excited I HAD to buy them!!! LOL

Andrea, I would like to say to you that they are not worth you crying and they are jellous of you. I have found also that most people that say things and make nasty coments are jellous. They show thier true idenity and don't like when overweight people get smaller. They have thier own insucuereities about themselves. Somehow they think it is insult to them. You just be proud of yourself and you know how wonderful you look and how far you have come. Listen to your doctors and yourself you know what's right. Don't waste your time or energy on those kinds of people. Maybe you need a new job with fresh faces that didn't know you before. Keep your chin up and the great work!!! Good Luck Jill

I do believe that she has insecurities. But, those are her problems, and should not be projected on me. Jealousy is a powerful emotion, and a wasted one as far as I am concerned. As for the job, I start a new one in two weeks. I thought you would like to know that you may be psychic..... Thanks for the support Andrea

Andrea, I am glad to hear that you are getting a new job!!! Good for you and I know you will do great at it. As for the psychic you might be right my kids say that too. Keep us updated on your new success!! Jill

Hi Andrea..... I find myself in the same situation that you are. I am 5'4" and weigh 137 pounds. My own personal goal is 125 pounds. I do not find that to be unreasonable. My face is a bit gaunt, but it will change and fill back in, a little. What is so discouraging to me is the surgeon's nurse practitioner. She says she doesn't like for her patients to get all the way down to their personal goals - that they should be happy wearing a size 12-14. Now, there is nothing wrong with wearing a size 12-14 - it is the average American woman's dress size. But, I feel discouraged that she wants me to weigh 140-145. I told her that I expected this type of response from some family and friends, surely not her. I meant no disrespect. But, she says that she will be disappointed if I weigh less at my April 2005 visit. In fact she says she will assume that I have gone towards anorexia!! I will feel like a failure if I have to abide by her numbers. Thanks for letting me vent, as well.....Paula