New job...better opportunities thin

I was offered a new position today and I am thrilled...can't stand what I'm doing now and I'll be glad to make the change. But then I got to wondering if I would have had the same opportunity offered to me 70 lbs ago. It's a Exec. Assistant position to a high ranking banker who works exclusively with high-income professional people and I know how much image plays into that. And...I was offered $5,000 a year more than I actually asked for on the application (and I didn't undersell myself). I know the value of my brain hasn't gone up that dramatically...does that mean that a thinner body is worth more? I guess I knew that all along, and it's nice for me personally, but disappointing to me as well to think of those other bright, gifted, obese people who are being overlooked simply because they don't make the best "first" impression. Anyone else experiencing these types of things? Julie

Julia, I think you know the answer to this one. It is so sad but true. Looks do come first. I have been treated with more respect from strangers now, not that I need it or it matters. It kind of makes me a little mad too that we put so much value in looks. I'm guilty of it too at times. My *true* friends have always treated me well and respected me. I'm glad that you will be getting the new job, and the extra income. You will be needing it for clothes and any plastic surgery you may want/need.

Congrats on the new position! i hate that this happens but it does! i don't think i have experienced this kind of prejudice but i have worked for the same state agency for almost 20 years and have been lucky to get the few promotions i have gone after. I think it happens with overweight people, with older folks, and in more recent years people without a college degree even if they have many years of experience. The raise sounds wonderful. I hope you love the new job!

I agree with you Kelly. My husband has 2 years of college but does not have a degree. He was trying to put himself through college straight out of highschool, hold down a full time job and live on his own. His mother passed away his senior year. Then we got married and five children later, he hasn't ever finished. He is so over qualified for many positions he applied for, but they want a degree. The degree doesn't even have to be related to the field. The company he works for has had a major downsizing, and they keep restructuring with college educated associates. They don't even stay a full year. I hope he will try to get to get his degree one way or another. Sigh... Debbie -55

Hey I just went through the same thing. The people here at the agency I am currently with did not want to give me a promotion either. I had to loose 73 lbs to go to anothe agency that gave me a job that was 4,000.00 more than the starting pay. Its so sad how superficial society is. You have noticed that dumb people with good looks get all of the high paying jobs.

That's so unfair, but we see it alot here too. My husband works for the local electrical utility and they used to promote smart guys to be "engineers"...now they only hire college educated engineers (which my husband is) but they've lost so much valuable experience from guys *****ally understood what they were working with. It sounds like your husband is a great guy...I hope he gets to finish that degree some day. Julie

Congratulations!!! How exciting for you. I think you are right, many are judged by their weight and not their qualifications. Fortunately tho, that is not true for all. Mary

Though I think it is more true for women than men. I may get disagreed with on this one, but that's been my experience. Men can be heavier and still get respect, women can't (of course I'm speaking generally - I know there are many exceptions). Linn

While I have never personally experienced this, I have seen it happen to others. However, some of what I've noticed, being on both the recruiting end, and being recruited, is that attitude plays heavily into it, no pun intended. In my experience in interviewing, it's rare to see a heavy applicant who has the confidence and the ability to sell themselves as being able to get the job. For instance, in my position, when I was first hired, part of that job was to install equipment into trucks. Sometimes in cramped spaces to run the wiring. All my boss asked me was would my knees take that stress, but I knew what he was getting at: would my fat fit into the space necessary to do the install. I assured him that I could and would do the job. And I got the job. So, from my point of view, it's more of a self esteem and confidence issue, and yes, sometimes hygiene, that keeps us out of stellar positions when we are heavier. Aside from people's prejudices against fat, that all contributes to us not getting better jobs and promotions, I think.

I think you're right. I know I feel differently about myself and probably project that in interviews. What I don't know, is why I couldn't feel that way about myself before losing weight; I'm still the same person. I guess we shouldn't wonder why others view obese people as less desirable when many of us viewed ourselves that way. Julie