Having a blue day

It has been 16 weeks, I have lost 85 pounds and 48.5 inches. I should be happy, but instead feel gloomy. I am very sad about Momma Angel's passing. I also feel sad because I think that my sister has been talking behind my back to her friends. Everytime I have seen these people since the surgery, they have not said one word about the surgery or my weight loss. My sister and I used to be so close, now I cannot trust her. I am trying desperately to catch up on bills and having almost $1000 of out-of-pocket expenses from the surgery is not helping. I parted with the last of my big clothes this week--although it felt extremely liberating at the time, I have some type of silly connection with my old clothes and I can't explain it. Even at 325 pounds, I felt that my wardrobe was stylish and that I looked good in my clothes and now they are gone and I have about 3 pairs of pants that I can wear and they are jeans. I am not supposed to wear jeans at work (unwritten code), but they have not said anything to me since they can see that I am still losing weight and would not expect me to buy all new clothes for every size. It does feel good to get some of this off my chest and hopefully, things will start to look upward. I plan on losing the last 15 pounds to get to the century club by July 7th (Support group meeting)--that is my new goal and I will get busy accomplishing it. Thanks to everyone for listening to me vent, my AMOS family is so much more supportive than my real family, Dorothy

I'm sure we can all relate to this at some stage, and I feel for you. Last week when I got my 1 pair of pants dirty that fit me, I decided to go to kohls sale and picked up a whole collection of pants and things for less than $10.00 each, it really is worth buying just one more item of clothing, its nice to see that we can fit into smaller sizes, and it always feels good to be wearing somthing new. Well thats just my opinion. I hope your day gets better, smile and try to enjoy the rest of your day. Lee

Dorothy, It may not be that your sister has said a thing, often people will not mention weight loss for a couple of reasons: 1. they feel if you want to discuss your surgery and loss that you will bring it up. 2. the really haven't noticed, people can be extremely unobservant at times I have found that even friends who know about my surgery and my weight loss don't say anything when I see them. At first it hurt, now it doesn't matter cause I know I am feeling great. It has been hard on many of us to have Momma Angel pass away. She was a wonderful and caring person. She would not want any of us to dwell on her death. So think positive thoughts about all the good she did in the time we had with her. Clothes.... yes, it was hard to give some of them up. Every one of my shirts had been machine embroidered by me. I really took great care in picking out designs and then enjoyed stitching them out. Now I don't bother as I will only wear the item for a few weeks. It is hard UNTIL I found something that makes me feel so good about me, like finally wearing jeans again. Like feeling really cute in jean shorts and a cute T-shirt. Yesterday I had an awesome moment. Was just looking (just planning to buy anything) and found some floor length dresses (fancy ones) on sale for 1/2 price. When I started this journey I was a 30/32/4X. So I grab some 22s and a couple 20s knowing the 20s will never fit, this is a straight dress. 22s were too roomy, 20s fit over my jeans!!!! I didn't want to tempt the fates so didn't try on an 18 but I really think it would of fit. I modeled the 20s for Hal and he loved them. Told me to buy one and we would go out for a special romantic night. I felt so beautiful and so loved. Came out and put the dresses back on the rack. Told him I would wait as I could only wear the dress once right now whereas when I get to goal it will be a good investment as it could be worn more than once. My ego needed to be fed yesterday and just trying on those dresses was just what I needed. A number of people at our WLS surgery support group shop frequently at the Salvation Army or Goodwill or other thrift stores. It is amazing the wonderful "finds" they have come across. Also I agree, Kohls if you have one in your neighborhood has some unbelieveable prices. I got a pair of jean shorts there a while back on sale for about $7. We all have days of feeling blue or down. When it happens to me I try to keep busy, get out of the house, do something fun (it doesn't have to cost any money). It seems to lift my mood and makes me feel better too. Hugs, Mary

Hi Dorothy, You should be proud of yourself- you are becoming a new person and that should make you happy . I too have a jellous sister, she wants to have the surgery done too but she says she can't. She never says how much weight i have lost or how good I look. I know it hurts alot, we used to be close too. People tell me not to let it bother me just know that what I have done is reward enough, and If your sister doesn't treat you good then it is her loss. My husband and children see me everyday and they are always saying how good i look and how i am shrinking,and that makes me smile. When you look in the mirror and see all the changes and the smaller person looking back at you. Keep up your chin and the good work!!! Jill

Girlfriend...Keep your chin up!! You are doing awesome with your loss!!! As for people talking about you, don't let it bother you. Words are only words; spoken by people who don't know what they are talking about. Clothing?? GO TO YARD SALES!! they have become my weekend entertainment, big time!! I found some REALLY cute things this weekend; I'm talking at least 6 pr. of Capris, as many shirts, and some really cute (ELVIS!!!) purses. I only spent about $25 on all of it. Plus, I bought some things for my daughters too. Just go to the better neighborhoods in your area, and you will find things to fit that are nice (and clean....and smell good...LOL). 85 lbs is GREAT...don't be down Sherri C 242/184/140 RNY 2/16/04

Thanks everyone for your replies. It really just confirms that you guys are all wonderful and so supportive. Yes, I have had time to think about it and with all of your wonderful advice, I do feel better. Thanks for the pick-me-up, Dorothy