Help with issues

Hello All, I need to talk and am embarassed but here goes. My husband and I had sex for the first time since October 2 nights ago. There have been other emotional issues at bay here so it's not all the surgery. I have HUGE issues with sex and guilt but that's another story. This is the first time since surgery. Here's the question. It hurt. I felt like a virgin all over again. Was it just because it had been so long? Was it because of the surgery? I love my husband and am trying to deal with the issues behind this but the physical is pretty bad....Any advice would be great!! Noelle 326/252/120

I'm no expert by any means, but if you still have issues, I would think you weren't ready. I mean you might not have been lubricated enough. Try some of the heated KY jelly I see advertised. I hope things get better. There is nothing more satisfying than a good sexual relationship with your spouse. (((HUGS))) Debbie -52.5 yes it moved slightly today.

Noelle, Don't be embarrassed. We are all friends here and remember too someone else usually has the same issues too. Definitely talk to your GYN or regular doctor if the pain continues. If the pain is vaginal area pain, then it shouldn't be surgery related (my opinion only, I'm not a medical person). I've read others posting about pain during sex after weight loss. Some have stated that they felt it was because they had lost weight that their spouse could be in deeper than before. I did a search in the library section of this site and found some posts that may be helpful to you: http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/question.phtml?N=1034090765&Search_Word=sex http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/question.phtml?N=e1048884963&Search_Word=sex http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/question.phtml?N=m1044161884&Search_Word=sex http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/question.phtml?N=e1036916183&Search_Word=sex you can do further reading by going to the library section and typing in "sex" and then scrolling down thru the messages to see if any are of interest to you. http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/dbsearch.phtml Mary

Noelle, Please don't be embarassed by this question. Like someone up there said, if you have this question, for sure others do. Mary always has such excellent advice, I'd pay close attention to her repsonse. But let me assure you of something. The sex issue is one that is common to us. I recently had to approach the subject with my hubby. It's also been a very long time since we had sex. Much longer ago than October. We still haven't, but now that I feel much better, both mentally and physically its not as taboo as it used to be. I was wrestling with an acceptable approach to bring up the subject. I wanted him to know I'd be willing to consider it again. I didn't want him to be afraid to approach the subject either. I was also very very afraid that I might be rejected. But in my usual tactful manner, the other day I just blurted out, "are we ever going to do it again?" How's that for blunt? He was stunned, but didn't hesitate when he said, "well, yeah". So you see, its an issue with lots of us. Windy/Pat